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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I fall a lot, my right breast is noticeably larger than my left one, and same with right foot, and last time I fell outside and hurt my right shoulder almost a year ago now and it still hurts to move or use it.
Lots of great suggestion here and they all have one theme..... you need to go to a doctor. Hiding at home will not help you and you may find that there is nothing severe in your condition but only a medical team can help get the information you need.
Start with a good PCP and be perfectly honest with them. Tell them you want a full physical (blood work, mammo, x-rays ( you will have to have x-rays before they can do an MRI) for that shoulder) -- the full works. If you don't have a good doctor, ask, friends, neighbors, any religious groups you may be a member of, etc. Most people who are older like geriatric specialists but I personally prefer my sports medicine doctor who wants people to keep doing what they love as long as possible but that could be because he has been my PCP for over 30 years and we are both "mature" ( told him he can't die or retire before I do, lol)
I you can live in this world as an adult and have survived a year of Covid..... you can do this. Peace and blessings on your journey.
Knowledge is power. Understanding what’s going on with your body both gives you power to heal and calms your fears. Go see a doctor and explain your thoughts and concerns. Currently, it’s more like a baby sitting in a dirty diaper, not liking the mess but not changing it either
I don't see why you need to tell your family anything, esp when you don't have any solid dx, just odd symptoms.
Get to a dr for a full physical--mammogram, colonoscopy, the works.
THEN, if something needs to be addressed further, you can loop your family in.
I didn't tell my kids I had cancer until I had done all the tests and had a plan of care in place. If I could have gone the 14 months w/o telling them at all, I would have, but I went totally bald and got super sick, so it was impossible to hide.
Surprised me how little they seemed to care. I know they did, but they keep any sign of fear or concern out of my view. Their calmness kept me calm, and I did have to call on them a couple of times b/c I was too sick to do some things.
Worry is worthless. And I bet you're like me in that you kind of DO want the kids to be concerned and show it--but on the other hand, their calm was appreciated.
If it's any comfort, I knew a woman whose left breast NEVER developed. She was at least a 44DD on one side, and a 32AA on the other. She wore a prosthesis on the left side, and no one was the wiser.
No woman has perfectly matched breasts unless they bought them off the rack.
As to the other issues, just go to the doctor. Nothing you describe sounds life-threatening.
Make an appointment with your PCP. The first thing to have done is labs to have your numbers checked. Have a mammogram and that shoulder xrayed. It may be nothing, it may be something but I would rather know than wonder.
Having your meds looked at may be wise. Every time my Mom went in the hospital, they fooled with her meds. Then I would question her PCP. Too much BP meds will bring you BP dangerously low. Then you have no energy and could fall. Moms were increased because of pain but not lowered when there was no more pain. She was put on meds for fast heart rate but Thyroid meds corrected that. I questioned the increases with her PCP and he took her off the one and adjusted the BP. If I had not questioned, she may have remained on the meds.
How's that fear/denial thing working for you so far? Wouldn't you rather know exactly what is going on with you, so you can get the help you need before it's too late? It may not be as bad as you think in your mind it is. And if it is, well then it's time to deal with it. Living in denial is no way to live, as the only person it hurts is you, and well fear is a liar, so quit listening to it.
Make the call today, to be seen by your/a doctor. You'll feel much better once you take that first step. Best wishes.
Are you in denial? How long since you last saw a doc? Were there tests you were supposed to follow up on and didn't?
If you haven't seen a doc in years, are you afraid you will suddenly be visiting a variety of specialists? Too many doc appointments? Too many treatments to manage?
They won't magically to away. Maybe there is a medical practice with a nurse advocate to help. A good place to start may be a breast oncologist, those practices nearly always have nurse advocates to support you and help you figure out the system.
I do not tell family of my concerns until and unless I know there is something to be concerned about. My health, my business. I have a neighbor that had a double mastectomy without telling her daughter. I don't want my kids or anyone else worrying about me. I don't want the attention. Maybe that comes from being the daughter of a hypochondriac, something was always wrong with her, yet she lived to 90.
Say “I’m really scared I might really be sick that’s whyI don’t go to doctors. Do you know any doctor(s) who might come here to my house where I could feel a little more comfortable?”
”Could you help me arrange a teleconference so that I could talk to a doctor before going to a medical office in person?”
”Do you think I could arrange for a Visiting Nurse to see me here at home and help me connect with a gentle understanding doctor who would understand how terribly frightened I am?”
Dear Selfcaregiver53- Try any of these, and if you need more, LET ME KNOW. FEAR is a VERY POOR HEALER.
Please take just ONE STEP to getting some help. MANY OF US have been terribly traumatized by the lockdowns. You have THE ABSOLUTE RIGHT to FIND compassionate respectful medical attention.
Please pick the person in your life whom you respect and trust most, AND TAKE THE FIRST STEP.
As an adult, you don't tell your family. You go to the doctor, one complaint at a time. You just may need a little more information and a desire to get better.
Falls: Address the falls, and perhaps the Rx you are taking that can cause the falls. Investigate Statins and B/P meds, and prescription pain meds, and any psychotropic meds (benzodiazepam) (ativan) and others. Help your doctor find the cause by researching online.
Start by slowing down, stop hurrying, as you age, your body will slow down, but you can still get physically fit and strong. Always face in the direction you are walking. Concentrate on your walking, don't hurry or get distracted.
Shoulder: There are many therapies for your shoulder. Start there with an orthopedist, getting an accurate diagnosis. And cooperate with physical therapies. You can gently massage your arm held high in the shower, hot water running onto your shoulder. You could try a pain creme with high menthol content. Adjust your sleep position, do not lay on that side. Place a pillow under the affected arm to open the joint away from your body. Change your pillow. Mine took 2 years to heal, but it healed right away after reading on this forum. (Within 2 months). Plus, I discovered (after seeing the doctor the follow-up visit), I had a broken collar bone after falling. I do not fall anymore.
Normal: When you do see your PCP for an exam, you can ask if your body parts are of normal size. It is normal to have a difference in size breasts, feet, length of legs, etc. But do ask.
Note: That I am just sharing what worked for me. You need to actually go to your doctor yourself. I was stuck and afraid. I was sure that they could not help me, and went in with that attitude. A chiropractor insisted I get the basic work-up by a PCP. When I first went to the chiropractor, I was in crutches, and later held on to the walls to balance myself so I could walk.
Notice, it is all on your right side. Tell that to your doctor.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Start with a good PCP and be perfectly honest with them. Tell them you want a full physical (blood work, mammo, x-rays ( you will have to have x-rays before they can do an MRI) for that shoulder) -- the full works. If you don't have a good doctor, ask, friends, neighbors, any religious groups you may be a member of, etc. Most people who are older like geriatric specialists but I personally prefer my sports medicine doctor who wants people to keep doing what they love as long as possible but that could be because he has been my PCP for over 30 years and we are both "mature" ( told him he can't die or retire before I do, lol)
I you can live in this world as an adult and have survived a year of Covid..... you can do this. Peace and blessings on your journey.
Get to a dr for a full physical--mammogram, colonoscopy, the works.
THEN, if something needs to be addressed further, you can loop your family in.
I didn't tell my kids I had cancer until I had done all the tests and had a plan of care in place. If I could have gone the 14 months w/o telling them at all, I would have, but I went totally bald and got super sick, so it was impossible to hide.
Surprised me how little they seemed to care. I know they did, but they keep any sign of fear or concern out of my view. Their calmness kept me calm, and I did have to call on them a couple of times b/c I was too sick to do some things.
Worry is worthless. And I bet you're like me in that you kind of DO want the kids to be concerned and show it--but on the other hand, their calm was appreciated.
No woman has perfectly matched breasts unless they bought them off the rack.
As to the other issues, just go to the doctor. Nothing you describe sounds life-threatening.
Having your meds looked at may be wise. Every time my Mom went in the hospital, they fooled with her meds. Then I would question her PCP. Too much BP meds will bring you BP dangerously low. Then you have no energy and could fall. Moms were increased because of pain but not lowered when there was no more pain. She was put on meds for fast heart rate but Thyroid meds corrected that. I questioned the increases with her PCP and he took her off the one and adjusted the BP. If I had not questioned, she may have remained on the meds.
Get that physical.
Make the call today, to be seen by your/a doctor. You'll feel much better once you take that first step. Best wishes.
If you haven't seen a doc in years, are you afraid you will suddenly be visiting a variety of specialists? Too many doc appointments? Too many treatments to manage?
They won't magically to away. Maybe there is a medical practice with a nurse advocate to help. A good place to start may be a breast oncologist, those practices nearly always have nurse advocates to support you and help you figure out the system.
I do not tell family of my concerns until and unless I know there is something to be concerned about. My health, my business. I have a neighbor that had a double mastectomy without telling her daughter. I don't want my kids or anyone else worrying about me. I don't want the attention. Maybe that comes from being the daughter of a hypochondriac, something was always wrong with her, yet she lived to 90.
”Could you help me arrange a teleconference so that I could talk to a doctor before going to a medical office in person?”
”Do you think I could arrange for a Visiting Nurse to see me here at home and help me connect with a gentle understanding doctor who would understand how terribly frightened I am?”
Dear Selfcaregiver53- Try any of these, and if you need more, LET ME KNOW. FEAR is a VERY POOR HEALER.
Please take just ONE STEP to getting some help. MANY OF US have been terribly traumatized by the lockdowns. You have THE ABSOLUTE RIGHT to FIND compassionate respectful medical attention.
Please pick the person in your life whom you respect and trust most, AND TAKE THE FIRST STEP.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!
What would happen if you were honest with them?
If you were really sick.. would you want to know? So you could decided what to do?
If there was treatment to help your shoulder, would you want it?
You go to the doctor, one complaint at a time.
You just may need a little more information and a desire to get better.
Falls:
Address the falls, and perhaps the Rx you are taking that can cause the falls.
Investigate Statins and B/P meds, and prescription pain meds, and any psychotropic meds (benzodiazepam) (ativan) and others. Help your doctor find the cause by researching online.
Start by slowing down, stop hurrying, as you age, your body will slow down, but you can still get physically fit and strong. Always face in the direction you are walking. Concentrate on your walking, don't hurry or get distracted.
Shoulder:
There are many therapies for your shoulder. Start there with an orthopedist, getting an accurate diagnosis. And cooperate with physical therapies. You can gently massage your arm held high in the shower, hot water running onto your shoulder. You could try a pain creme with high menthol content. Adjust your sleep position, do not lay on that side. Place a pillow under the affected arm to open the joint away from your body. Change your pillow.
Mine took 2 years to heal, but it healed right away after reading on this forum.
(Within 2 months). Plus, I discovered (after seeing the doctor the follow-up visit), I had a broken collar bone after falling. I do not fall anymore.
Normal:
When you do see your PCP for an exam, you can ask if your body parts are of normal size. It is normal to have a difference in size breasts, feet, length of legs, etc. But do ask.
Note: That I am just sharing what worked for me. You need to actually go to your doctor yourself. I was stuck and afraid. I was sure that they could not help me, and went in with that attitude. A chiropractor insisted I get the basic work-up by a PCP. When I first went to the chiropractor, I was in crutches, and later held on to the walls to balance myself so I could walk.
Notice, it is all on your right side. Tell that to your doctor.