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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I have experience. Whatever you do don’t think it will happen on your time table. Just like a business negotiation it takes finesse to get them in the right state to want a bath. You can try my favorite and build it up to a great spa day. Remind them how much they love them and maybe you could do it again. Subtle hints during the day keeps the idea alive. You get my point when the time is right they will agree. With dementia or memory loss it’s all about hitting the right time. You just need to keep the conversation moving in the right direction.
My SIL is in a lovely (read: expensive) ALF. She HATES being showered, but they insist on one shower every other day. IDK how they handle her. She's a large woman and will strike out and hit when she's agitated. I believe they give her a small dose of a benzo and then take it slowly from there. She's a 3 person shower also and I know one of the aides actually gets right in the shower stall (it's huge) with her.
The biggest challenge is washing her hair, something I could not help her do when she stayed with us last year. The aides have a soothing manner, which helps, and they don't rush.
I used to work private elder care and it was a challenge to get my clients to shower. I think b/c it's a LOT of work and many of them simply become exhausted by the process.
I think it was actually the fact she was refusing to shower that made the decision by my BIL to have to place her. She's double incontinent and she smelled horrific and he was completely burnt out. It's truly sad. She was such a brilliant woman-to see her like she is now is beyond heartbreaking. (But, she's a LOT nicer, so maybe it evens out?) IDK.
My father hasn’t A bit bed bound maybe wot he has can help our care people give basin wash/ get couple cheap bowls one for face one fur body and done flannels Say -white or pink for face Dark fir body sone settle/disinfectant and bath or shower gel ( soap) and wipe down pat dry if ok -a little moisturiser Anti chaff cream for private area fur any wee etc that can cause rashes Wet wipes are good for private area dipped into the warm water then just talk while its done or have tv on and divert attention We use disposable undies so incontinence lads put into pants so cleaning is just take out pad and wipe down and insert new pad a lot easier we use those tiny bin liners to put soiled items in and out in a bin outside sounds a lot but once a routine is established it’s actually quite quick
My husband lives in a memory care facility, and the staff is very adept at bathing them. They give him a calming medication 1/2 hour before his shower. Otherwise he gets violent and may scream, yell, or cause other mayhem. He is a three-person assist for showers.
At home before he went there, I showered him. It never became easy because sometimes he simply would not tolerate it. He'd yell, threaten me, and struggle. Calming meds caused him to be relaxed to the point of being more at risk for falls, and it was difficult to find a dose that didn't cause that.
You'll get suggestions to hire aides to shower your patient at home, but keep in mind that one may not be enough. Meds will help, but there are risks. Yet keeping the patient clean is absolutely necessary. You may need to consider moving her to a facility where professionals are trained to handle just about anything that happens.
You may want to use the search feature on this site and read past answers as this question comes up quite a bit. People with dementia often develop a fear or hesitancy of showers and baths. Many CNA’s have learned tricks of the trade in getting cooperation. Hiring an aide a few times a week may be a great help. Make sure the bathroom is warm, the towel is ready, and don’t make doing it a choice. Use bath wipes and dry shampoo between times. Consider if medication to calm anxiety might be needed. Know that skin will have issues if this is continually ignored. I wish you well in finding a plan that works
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
With dementia or memory loss it’s all about hitting the right time. You just need to keep the conversation moving in the right direction.
The biggest challenge is washing her hair, something I could not help her do when she stayed with us last year. The aides have a soothing manner, which helps, and they don't rush.
I used to work private elder care and it was a challenge to get my clients to shower. I think b/c it's a LOT of work and many of them simply become exhausted by the process.
I think it was actually the fact she was refusing to shower that made the decision by my BIL to have to place her. She's double incontinent and she smelled horrific and he was completely burnt out.
It's truly sad. She was such a brilliant woman-to see her like she is now is beyond heartbreaking. (But, she's a LOT nicer, so maybe it evens out?) IDK.
maybe wot he has can help
our care people give basin wash/
get couple cheap bowls
one for face one fur body and done flannels
Say -white or pink for face
Dark fir body
sone settle/disinfectant and bath or shower gel ( soap)
and wipe down
pat dry
if ok -a little moisturiser
Anti chaff cream for private area fur any wee etc that can cause rashes
Wet wipes are good for private area dipped into the warm water
then just talk while its done or have tv on and divert attention
We use disposable undies
so incontinence lads put into pants
so cleaning is just take out pad and wipe down and insert new pad
a lot easier
we use those tiny bin liners to put soiled items in and out in a bin outside
sounds a lot but once a routine is established it’s actually quite quick
At home before he went there, I showered him. It never became easy because sometimes he simply would not tolerate it. He'd yell, threaten me, and struggle. Calming meds caused him to be relaxed to the point of being more at risk for falls, and it was difficult to find a dose that didn't cause that.
You'll get suggestions to hire aides to shower your patient at home, but keep in mind that one may not be enough. Meds will help, but there are risks. Yet keeping the patient clean is absolutely necessary. You may need to consider moving her to a facility where professionals are trained to handle just about anything that happens.
I wish you luck.
thank you again! Very helpful