Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
1 2 3
Jim Cary in Batman Forever as the Riddler: "What is everything to one person but nothing to everyone else?" "Your Mind baby!"

Please note: All of what follows holds absolutely no merit anywhere accept for that very place...in my own head and heart. It is only stated with the intension of trying to help. Please don't let it affect you in any other way that positively.
Thank you.

1st off I need to say, you rock, you ARE your grandmother's rock! You give her such a wonderful gift everyday by helping her and living there. It allows her to stay in her own home where she is most comfortable and has the most privacy, dignity, and independence. No one knows the value of those things or how they can have a ripple effect in each facet of our health and our lives until each of us no longer have them. There is not enough gratitude that could ever be expressed to you for doing that or for being the type of person that amount of daily sacrifice requires. Especially for a 20-27 year old! That's not even mentioning how wonderful and unfearful you are making what could be your grandmothers last years.
If I were in your situation this is what I would do...I would do what you've already started doing....reaching out for help. A lot of the time that is the hardest step to do! Also, communicating with anyone anyway you can about this. So, good job for doing that! I would also go with her to her next doctors appointment and talk to her doctor and ask if they know of any immediate resources of ANY kind either federal, state or local that she and you as a caregiver would be eligible for that could help the both of you. Also, your aunt needs to know that she has two options...1 she can either give you a ride to your local dept of child and family services with a good attitude about it so you can get the help and resources that you and your grandmother need or 2. You can call them and make an appointment for a case worker from their office to do a home visit so you can show them the bad conditions of the home and tell them all about how you are doing your best to are for her but this has been the result of her neglecting her own mother and now you know you are doing the right thing by reaching out for their help and services.
Make sure you are keeping up on your own self care. You matter too! All the little things you should do for yourself that you wouldn't think matters really does matter in the ways you feel about yourself. Getting enough sleep and being on a consistent sleep cycle, regular hair cuts, eating healthy, showering, getting dressed, shaving, exercising (outside of your regular daily physical activities) outside in the fresh air is best (weather permitting) of course. Fresh air, sunshine and a bit of an elevated heart beat from mild to moderate physical activity are so good for you! Any hobbies, arts and crafts, drawing, writing, baking, try cooking a new recipe that sounds good that you and her would enjoy. Watch a movie or read a book. Those are the types of things that feed our souls positivity and love. I would try to make my focus on those things until you are able to get whatever types of outside help you need in order to get a job outside of your home or until DHS can train and pay you for being her home caregiver. Also, get signed up for free Medicaid through Dept of Human Services, that way you'll have medical care if you get injured or sick. You cant take very good care of anyone else unless you first keep your own health good. You can develop more of your own life slowly a little bit at a time while living with her by getting a job outside your home or by getting paid for being her live in care giver and asking for 1 day per week respite care for her so you can at least have 1 day per week off away from the home.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Hi Dennis , I do feel if you had a car your life would be 100 % easier . How does your Aunt have Power of attorney if she is doing No work ? That usually goes to the care taker . The House is in probate ? So your Grand ma could be Kicked out ? Your Mother doesn't seem to be much of a help . Even if your parents divorced you could ask your Dad for a Loan for a car . I use to Pick cars up for $1000 and they were pretty good cars . You May not have a car license . It doesn't matter what age your parents divorced he is still your Dad . You Can Look on Craigslist or Facebook for used cars or bikes . This situation seems to be Ongoing and it could go on for another 20 years at that Point you would be 47 . I do know of some one He was a caretaker for his Mother for 5 years - The Older brother had taken out a $600,000 Mortgage against his mothers house so when she died this caretaker had no where to go and he is living at the YMCA . He is 71 . Burn Out is real . Even if you had a bike that would give you a breather but you really need a car and Power of attorney if your going to continue to live there . Your Grand Mother is lucky to have you but your parents should be helping and the Aunt . Your Grand Mother may Lose the home anyway and have to go to a care facility . Not sure why she can't Live with your mother or Aunt either . I would ask your Dad to help you find a car .
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

1 2 3
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter