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How do we tell mil that she is no longer allowed to answer the door, cook using the gas stovetop, and continually change the thermostat? My husband doesn't want to hurt her feelings and thinks by telling her she is always doing something wrong is not the way he wants the end of her life to be. I disagree. She answered our front door the other day and I asked him if he told her she can't do that. He said no. Then I woke up this morning to a house that smelled like something caught fire. I went into the kitchen and the stovetop had something melted on the burner and the toaster over was unplugged because she didn't know how to turn it off. What can I do to let my husband know and let mil know she can no longer use anything but the microwave without hurting her feelings?


Also, how do you all deal with the constant thermostat battle?


I feel like everything is happening all at once. She is declining fast. Like overnight fast. Does this happen? I need so much help I don't know where to start. Here I am again on the forum (my 3rd time) and rambling and feeling desperate.

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I need to learn more about the difference between being old or having dementia. She has not been diganosed with dementia.
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She's not going to remember any rules if she has dementia. It sounds like she can't be alone unsupervised anymore; else she burns the house down with everyone in it.
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kas15 May 2021
She has not been diagnosed with dementia.
I can't tell if she has issues with memory loss from old age or if she has dementia. I just booked an appointment with her doctor but the last 4 times we've had an appointment she says she can't go. We have tried Zoom but IMHO at this point the doctor needs to physically see her to make a good diagnosis on multiple things.
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Does she have dementia? If so, do you think she'd even remember all these admonitions?

If not, it's your house, too, so you tell her the rules.
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