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My mom began to eat less, I found she lost the taste for things she traditionally really like and started to enjoy foods that normally she would not eat. Her preferences changed. She was a vegetarian so getting protein in her was difficult. So I tried new foods. Some worked well.

I also concentrated on high calorie and not necessary volume. So, it was about what she ate and drank, not how much. I tried to measure the calories since she would not eat three meals a day.

It is a challenge for sure. Good luck,
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She is 92, so let her not eat if she doesn't want to. Or let her eat as many calorie-laden foods as she wants. It is her decision, not yours. You don't want to prolong her life if it will only get worse. Let her go.
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Summernole Sep 22, 2023
My mom is super independant when she is not suffering from chronic UTIs. She feeds herself, bathes, gets dressed, takes showers and sometimes she will even drive. It is when these UTIs hit her that she really goes downhill and we can't seem to control them. I will not let her go when her normal life is good. I am fighting chronic UTIs.
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Try putting out some Haagen Dasz ice cream for dessert which has a ridiculous amount of calories in a scoop. Or make her a small milkshake with some, even better, as a treat.

Bring her a frozen pumpkin swirl coffee drink from Dunkin Donuts. One serving has 980 calories in it. Shocking, I know. 🙄

Bring home pot pies from Boston Market which are also calorie dense.

Kentucky Fried Chicken extra crispy is another ridiculously high calorie food.

Keep the portions SMALL, but the calories HIGH...thats the key with people who don't like to eat much.
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Summernole Sep 2023
Thank you. Good tips!
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My mom lost the initiative to feed herself and I had to feed her for many years, if I had followed the advice some people here tend to give I probably would have just assumed she was close to dying (in fact I was told she was close to dying when her BP dropped dramatically, that turned out to be because she no longer needed some of her medications). I struggled with knowing what was right and ethical and finally decided that as long as she willingly ate when fed I was doing the right thing; she never refused to open her mouth or swallow or spat the food out. All this is a long way to say that everyone is different and you know your own circumstances better than any of us.
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If she's in pretty good shape for her age and independent then she can certainly decide when she is going to eat and how much.

Maybe put out snacks that she likes so she can snack during the day without the production or effort of cooking.

If she is weak and tired all the time it might not be because she isn't eating enough it may be an underlying health issue or a reaction to meds she is taking.
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When the body begins to shut down, it will actually reject food.

My MIL has lived on 300-400 cals a day for 9 months now. She lost some weight in the beginning, but is (unbelievably!!) stable now. Goes to show--we probably eat way more than we really need.

Also, if she feels 'guilty' b/c one of the kids brings her food, she'll try to eat and then she vomits it all up.

Basically, she's living on BOOST. And 1-8 oz Diet Coke per day.
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heyjmk Sep 22, 2023
Boost is terrible. Try Liquid Hope and healthy smoothies.
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Most elders eat less and less, and in fact I at 81 basically eat a meal a day. If you notice, most elders you see don't weigh a whole lot; I can't tell if that means that overweight keeps many shut ins when joints get more worn, or if it is just a fact that those morbidly overweight do not live as long.

At this age, why would you worry about how much and what your elder is eating? There is little likelihood at my age of 81 someone will write my obit opining that I died much too young. We all are headed the same place. I would think at 92 we should be able to eat whatever we like, personally.
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Summernole Sep 2023
Not very helpful advice when I know she needs substenance.
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I used to get annoyed that my mom didn't finish the meals I made for her - looking back I know that it contributed to her weight loss and weakness, which contributed to her falling, which was the beginning of her decline.

First I'd investigate a little about why she isn't eating to make sure it isn't something you can correct like a dental or oral problem, stomach upsets or bowel difficulties. If her calorie intake is really too low this is what those nutritional supplements like ensure and boost were invented for, beyond that you can focus on adding easier to eat higher calorie foods to your meals (smaller meals plus snacks may help too).
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Summernole Sep 2023
Thank you. Boost and Ensure are my last resorts. She is down to 93 lbs.
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What do you mean by "she eats like a bird".

I eat maybe a bowl of cereal and toast, bagel or a tea biscuit with jelly for breakfast. No lunch, just snack on stuff. Usually my sweet time. Then I have dinner I cook or we eat out. No snacks at night. I don't eat over 1500 cal a day. I am 74.

Write down what Mom eats in a day. You may be surprised she is getting the calories she needs. Boost is a good way to add to her diet. I put the choco. One in the freezer for an hr or so. It thickens up like a milk shake, pretty good. The colder that stuff is the better.

Mom may need labs done. She could be anemic. Potassium could be low especially if she takes water pills. Thyroid problems too. Then u can mention her appetite. There is medication for stimulating it.
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Summernole Sep 2023
Thank you, JoAnn. She just got out of the hospital after two weeks with a severe UTI. But, I can't just watch her "wittle away" in front of me because she doesn't want to eat.
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