My dad is 80 and doing well for his age and his many health issues but I fear that one day he may need Hospice. He is in a care facility that has taken great care of him but I'm afraid if he needs Hospice care, he will want to come home. I know this may sound bad but I can not take care of him and I can not afford to quit my job or ask for extended time off. He is in the process of selling his house so if he were to leave the facility, he would want to come to my house. I have a small house with lots of repairs needed and it would be hard to take care of anyone in it. I'm not a horrible person, I'm just being real. From what I have heard, Hospice does not do hands on care, they are just there for pain management. This is what one of my best friends told me when her dad was on Hospice. My dad needs total care now. He can still feed himself but he can not bathe himself, dress himself or tend to bathroom needs. For those of you who have had a loved on Hospice, how did you handle it if you were unable to be the sole caregiver during that time?
Are you checking in on the property or is the agent? Scary times these days as squatters find out and move in. Take care, admit that you can't do this and live your life.
I know what you mean by trying to lift someone. Before he went to a facility, he was falling a lot. I struggled to get him up and even hurt my back once. I'm hoping the house sells soon. I'm checking on it often because I have been cleaning it out and that is a huge task doing it alone. I do not have siblings and people charge alot of money to clean out a house. I did donate several things so that has helped. But you are right, I'm not physically or mentally able.
When the time comes for additional care with hospice, nothing changes. Hospice nurses, CNAs, chaplains and social workers come into the SNF to see dad and care for him there, just as the nurses and staff do now. Hospice is just more sets of eyes and hands to care for him.
If the "demand" arises to come to your home, the answer is still the same: No, that's not possible. It's doctors orders you live and be cared for in the SNF and this is where you'll stay, with me visiting of course.
Have a plan in place to deal with this so you won't have unnecessary anxiety about it beforehand. Hospice in managed care is where both of my parents passed and it was much smoother that way. I spent all day every day with each of them in the last week of their lives. I would do it again that way with no regrets, no guilt.
Best of luck to you.
I'm definitely stronger than I use to be in regards to saying what I can and can not do. He can not leave on his own but he will enlist his friends to come and get him which is what happened before when he tried to leave. He is in the best place. He even suggested several months that I have my house upgraded to be handicap accessible.
Thank you for your reply. He is already in a skilled nursing facility. If he ever needs Hospice, he would definitely receive better care where is now than he would at home. But, I know my dad and he would probably not ask to come, he would demand to come and more than likely plan to behind my back.