Mom is not grooming, eating or taking her meds. My sis goes over daily and insists on her eating. mom wants to die at home. We have made arrangements to move her to assisted living. How do we tell her when she is so bull-headed and refuses. My sis wants to take her to lunch then say her house has something wrong and we can't go back for 4 weeks till fixed. Drive her to assisted living and her things will all be there. Is this a good idea, nurse said they do this a lot. Any other suggestions?
1. Will your mother or father be safe living there alone?
2. Is their current home safe and in good living condition? (heaters, no rips in carpet, tears in flooring,etc...)
3. What is there financial situation like and will they be able to stay up with current costs of maintaining a home to keep it a safe environment?
4. Is the current home two stories and can they get up and down stairs safely?
5. What is the physical state of your parent? Will they be able to walk up and down the stairs safely if it is two floors, clean house, buy groceries, cook?
6. What is the mental health state of your parent? Do they remember to take their daily medications, do they remember all of their doctor's appointments?
No matter how much you love your parents and would like to see them to be able to live at home, safety should come before everything! After all, that is how your parents raised you when you were young; they were always concerned about your safety.
As far as having home care, this is a wonderful service, but please remember that this service is part time and the caregiver is only there for a couple of hours a few days a week. All your answers to the questions above should be factored in when making a decision for your parent to be cared for at home with part time nursing care. Also, keep in mind, that when the nurse comes in to see your parent, he/she will ask them certain questions; how have they been, have they had any problems, are they remembering to take their medicines? If your parent has short term memory loss, the nurse is probably not going to be able to get accurate answers.
Loving care for a parent, must consider safety, health and finances, both short and long term. In addition, you too want to live a healthy and full life so that you have more to give back to your aging parent. Best regards!
On the other side of the coin, is Mom passes on leaving Dad alone, if I mention him moving to a retirement center, he'd have his suitcase packed in 15 minutes. He is currently very bored at home since he can no longer drive, he would enjoy making new friends.