Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
✔
I acknowledge and authorize
✔
I consent to the collection of my consumer health data.*
✔
I consent to the sharing of my consumer health data with qualified home care agencies.*
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Hi Hector Beginning to wear disposable underwear doesn’t have to be a difficult transition. It does come with the need to help manage bathroom trips.
The easiest thing is to just take ALL of her existing underwear away and replace them with the Depends or whichever brand works for her. No need for a big discussion. “Bought you some new underwear and put them in your drawer.” Some are a little confusing on which is the front.
If she has dementia she will go back to her old style if you leave them where she can see them.
I also placed a pair of depends in my LO’s bathroom so she could easily change when she went to the bathroom. She was already wearing what she called “pee pads” and would always put those in a garbage bag and into the outside of the home garbage when she changed. Of course, she quit doing that on her own as her dementia progressed.
A person needs to pee every two to three hours when they are awake if they are well hydrated. Many elders will drink less water trying not to go to the bathroom as often. It’s good to serve lots of fruits and veggies to stay properly hydrated and take her/encourage her/ to the bathroom every couple of hours. Often they don’t feel that they are wet and think they don’t need to go. Then, when they stand up, their bladder releases. So encourage going every couple of hours to empty the bladder and help prevent UTIs and perhaps have a need for fewer changes throughout the day.
Agree to the plan given by 97yroldmom, and if they complain, tell them there is no choice. You can't keep dealing with leaks, etc., whatever the issue is. It's not up for discussion. And definitely toss the old underwear. This is what I had to do. I was at my wits end with the leaks on our coach, the liquid poo accidents that created a trail to the bathroom, etc. The transition was easy. No argument. I think it is easier sometimes to just make the change and not put any additional stress on them with the decision.
When I was still a CNA, I faced resistance from some patients, particularly the men, about transitioning into Depends. I tried to handle the topic with encouragement, honesty and humor. I told them that I helped a number of patients and that "everybody wears them" now. They were genuinely surprised to hear that ,and it seemed to make them feel better to know that most seniors in their age group relied on depends so that they could have a more active lifestyle. It was sad to see some of these lovely people have continued accidents that were embarrassing to them and they finally realized that wearing Depends saved them the embarrassment of getting their clothes and the floor wet. I was always really honest with my patients while reminding them that someday "I'll be wearing them too.'. Honestly this did the trick for me.
I also show my husband the results of wearing a diaper: look/feel the wet diaper, hand him baby wipes to clean; hand him a dry paper towel to dry himself before assisting him to put a new one; then cheering him w/ positive reinforcements( good job! ; here we go clean and dry again, etc . singing /make gestures w/ dancing!) He had been helping now with pulling up the diaper and no more mess in bed, floor, chair! PS I cut the sides of diaper with a scissors for easy handling of wet diaper! Anything easier and fun make him smile and cooperate!
I agree with the other suggestions about removing the old underwear. My mom was told that her old ones were worn out. (Some of them were.)
She began with Poise pads and progressed to Depends.
We bought my mom the pink Depends. However when she was still able to move freely, she would put them in the laundry basket, thinking they could be reused. Not sure if your mother is still able to dress herself?
As my mom's dementia progressed, she didn't fight wearing them. But she did start to refuse to get out of bed to use the bathroom. She claimed she didn't have to go. But her Depends were soaked.
What helps is not to use open ended sentences, such as, "You're going to start wearing this underwear, OK?" The "OK" leaves it up for discussion.
Instead you can trying saying her new underwear is in the drawer (or any location) and then walk away. It may take a few tries.
Also, the washable underwear that is on the market today for incontinence was used for both my parents, but it just did not work well for our situation.
Tell her that all kinds of people use them; long haul truckers, travelers sometimes do, even young people at festivals and concerts do. Also, revelers at New York Times Square will use them. They are not just for older folks and there is no shame in it.
I have known a couple of women were are in denial, and probably embarrassed about their incontinence. It might be better not to talk about it if it makes her uncomfortable, but buy the depends and leave them with her. You'll have to guess at the size, or you can buy one package of medium and one package of large and let her try them out. She'll get the hint without the embarrassing talk. If you are a caregiver for her, or if you live with her, you might be able to take all of her underwear out of her drawer and replace them with depends. Just a note about depends, they are not especially absorbent. They are good for leaks, but if the wearer completely voids their bladder all at once, it is likely to soak through the depends. In that case, try adult briefs (diapers) which come in varying levels of absorbency, and can hold much more liquid.
It's also helpful to protect the furniture with disposable or washable underpads for her favorite chair and the bed.
My Mom had problems after having her forth child at 32. Always wore a pad. In her 80s she ended up in rehab and the sides switched her to Depends, she loved them.
I bought Wallgreens Serenity. They were longer in the tummy department. The depends tended to ride below her belly button. Walgreens would have a buy one 50% off on second pkg. I would stock up.
Is your mother currently using pads such as Poise? My mother started with those but as she lost more of her bladder control I went on line and was able to find more absorbent and larger pads for her, some of which are for both urinary and fecal incontinence, though she only has urinary. She later started wearing depends at night only. Eventually she started wearing the depends all the time. Again, as her control, and her inability to recognize how wet she was, continued to advance, I was able to find more absorbent pull ups for her, again by searching on line. I think part of her willingness to keep switching up had to do with her embarrassment when we put pads down on the seat whenever we took her anywhere in case she leaked through whichever product she was using. We also had to start making her visit the rest room immediately before we left to take her somewhere then every 1.5- 2 hours that we were out, whether she felt like she needed to or not. Now we actually use a pull up with an additional pad in it when we take her out for any length of time or anywhere bathrooms may be harder to find. That usually handles those cases pretty well. We still bring pads for the seat to be safe but we usually only need them if she doesn’t have the additional pad in her pull ups or she has to go longer without available bathrooms. We too tried the washable absorbent underwear early on but we used a pad in them as well and they were just able to help with anything that leaked around the pad. In the end I found myself with a collection of unused products left from when she needed something different and products we tried that didn’t work for her for whatever reason. I donated them to her memory care facility and they were very happy to have them for other residents!
Get her some. Put them next to the toilet she uses the most. Open the pack and just leave them. Or open a pack and put some in her underwear drawer. Don't talk to her about it. It will go in one ear and out the other. She'll either downright refuse, just to "prove" she doesn't need them, or forget you even talked about it. Just leave her some where she can get them if she wants them and let it all take it's own course.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Beginning to wear disposable underwear doesn’t have to be a difficult transition. It does come with the need to help manage bathroom trips.
The easiest thing is to just take ALL of her existing underwear away and replace them with the Depends or whichever brand works for her. No need for a big discussion. “Bought you some new underwear and put them in your drawer.” Some are a little confusing on which is the front.
If she has dementia she will go back to her old style if you leave them where she can see them.
I also placed a pair of depends in my LO’s bathroom so she could easily change when she went to the bathroom. She was already wearing what she called “pee pads” and would always put those in a garbage bag and into the outside of the home garbage when she changed. Of course, she quit doing that on her own as her dementia progressed.
A person needs to pee every two to three hours when they are awake if they are well hydrated. Many elders will drink less water trying not to go to the bathroom as often. It’s good to serve lots of fruits and veggies to stay properly hydrated and take her/encourage her/ to the bathroom every couple of hours. Often they don’t feel that they are wet and think they don’t need to go. Then, when they stand up, their bladder releases. So encourage going every couple of hours to empty the bladder and help prevent UTIs and perhaps have a need for fewer changes throughout the day.
She began with Poise pads and progressed to Depends.
We bought my mom the pink Depends. However when she was still able to move freely, she would put them in the laundry basket, thinking they could be reused. Not sure if your mother is still able to dress herself?
As my mom's dementia progressed, she didn't fight wearing them. But she did start to refuse to get out of bed to use the bathroom. She claimed she didn't have to go. But her Depends were soaked.
What helps is not to use open ended sentences, such as, "You're going to start wearing this underwear, OK?" The "OK" leaves it up for discussion.
Instead you can trying saying her new underwear is in the drawer (or any location) and then walk away. It may take a few tries.
Also, the washable underwear that is on the market today for incontinence was used for both my parents, but it just did not work well for our situation.
If you are a caregiver for her, or if you live with her, you might be able to take all of her underwear out of her drawer and replace them with depends.
Just a note about depends, they are not especially absorbent. They are good for leaks, but if the wearer completely voids their bladder all at once, it is likely to soak through the depends.
In that case, try adult briefs (diapers) which come in varying levels of absorbency, and can hold much more liquid.
It's also helpful to protect the furniture with disposable or washable underpads for her favorite chair and the bed.
I bought Wallgreens Serenity. They were longer in the tummy department. The depends tended to ride below her belly button. Walgreens would have a buy one 50% off on second pkg. I would stock up.
In the end I found myself with a collection of unused products left from when she needed something different and products we tried that didn’t work for her for whatever reason. I donated them to her memory care facility and they were very happy to have them for other residents!
See All Answers