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My husband is glued to his iPad watching movies from daylight till dark everyday!! Lying on the bed while I mow the lawn, etc. Help please what should I do?
Seaview, Internet Addiction is real, and I believe may already have been added to the DSM as such. It occurs with people regardless of any physical disease. And it gets worse, not better.
As others have written, I think you need to either get him some psychiatric help, or help from someone knowledgeable and who treats Internet addiction, or think about how long and/or if you want to stay in this marriage.
If he was a gambler before, that's a good indication that he probably has an addictive personality. "His lot of mess has made him addicted to computers " - I'm not sure what this is or means, but I'm also not sure it's made him addicted to anything. Something else "made" him addicted, and it isn't going to be resolved spontaneously.
How much money did he waste when he was addicted to gambling? Do you want any of your money to be wasted if he segues back to that? Does he work or just stay home all day?
From experience, the iPad sounds better than gambling..What meds helped him quit gambling?? Is he physically able to help you around the house? ...if he is able to help but won't, maybe headphones could get him outside...
You may want to consider ending the marriage unless you want to be his permanent caregiver and do everything for him including cleaning up his diapers. Seriously. Think about that.
If he has an addictive personality, I guess it could be worse than an iPad. But his obsession with the electronic device seems to be unhealthy for his marriage and for the progression of the disease. I understand that exercise can be very useful in managing Parkinson's. Is he being followed by a Parkinson's specialist? Perhaps a specialty clinic? You need to talk to an expert together to come up with a care plan that encourages him to be more active. And seeing a couples counselor might make sense at this point.
A high percentage of Parkinson patients develop dementia. (Not all, but many.) Are there any signs of that with your husband?
The Michael J Fox Foundation website has a treasure trove of information, encouragement, and suggestions. Do you use that site? It doesn't replace an expert doctor, but it can be very helpful.
I am so sorry you entered this marriage without fully realizing what the disease entailed and how it progresses.
Please keep in touch here, and let us know how things are going.
Seaview, perhaps it is time to consider all your options.
1. Talk to his doctors about possible computer addiction. 2. Replace the lawn with low maintenance greenery 3. Think about moving to a place with no lawn and little maintenance. 4. Think about if you want to continue in this marriage.
Thanks for your reply. I have only been married for 2 and a half years but he has had Parkinson's for 8.. he did tell me when we met 4 years ago but I didn't fully understand the disease which has progressed since being married. He used to gamble a lot before he changed his medication but his lot of mess has made him addicted to computers not the pokies I suppose is better than losing money...
From your profile it says your husband has Parkinson's disease. If you are concerned about his addiction to the iPad, I would try to talk to his doctor. If you are overwhelmed with the housework and yard work, I would try seek out additional resources through the community or church. Another option would be to talk to a social worker about all your options.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
As others have written, I think you need to either get him some psychiatric help, or help from someone knowledgeable and who treats Internet addiction, or think about how long and/or if you want to stay in this marriage.
If he was a gambler before, that's a good indication that he probably has an addictive personality. "His lot of mess has made him addicted to computers " - I'm not sure what this is or means, but I'm also not sure it's made him addicted to anything. Something else "made" him addicted, and it isn't going to be resolved spontaneously.
How much money did he waste when he was addicted to gambling? Do you want any of your money to be wasted if he segues back to that? Does he work or just stay home all day?
A high percentage of Parkinson patients develop dementia. (Not all, but many.) Are there any signs of that with your husband?
The Michael J Fox Foundation website has a treasure trove of information, encouragement, and suggestions. Do you use that site? It doesn't replace an expert doctor, but it can be very helpful.
I am so sorry you entered this marriage without fully realizing what the disease entailed and how it progresses.
Please keep in touch here, and let us know how things are going.
1. Talk to his doctors about possible computer addiction.
2. Replace the lawn with low maintenance greenery
3. Think about moving to a place with no lawn and little maintenance.
4. Think about if you want to continue in this marriage.
From your profile it says your husband has Parkinson's disease. If you are concerned about his addiction to the iPad, I would try to talk to his doctor. If you are overwhelmed with the housework and yard work, I would try seek out additional resources through the community or church. Another option would be to talk to a social worker about all your options.