He has dementia.He has been warned over and over that this site is a scam and not to put his credit card number on this site.. he says he won't and then he does. This happened about four times. I canceled both his cards. Again Went Got a card for me to hold on to not to give it to him. I've not used it yet. I don't want to lie to him but if I tell him he'll want it. He says he'll keep going to the site. He's not going to stop. Today he went to the next town over and got another debit card. IHis local branch wouldn't give him one. I Immediately paused it on the app on my phone.hebdoesnt know.. He's very mad at me.. It's become very difficult. He's treating me like I'm the enemy . Says I'm taking over his life.whatbto do? I realize I need to get an elderly care attorney.. Just wondered if anyone had any suggestions.
No good can come from a demented person being online.
You list this under dementia. If your father is incompetent you need to follow instructions on your POA papers to get made the SOLE signee on all accounts, get all bills sent to you, keep meticulous files on every penny in and every penny out of Dad's account, and give your Dad his own small spending account.
There will be NO CHARGE CARDS. They are done and cancelled as the POA.
This is a hard job and you will need to start with bankers who will only honor a GOOD SOLID POA, with phsyician's letters of dad's incompetence for executive functioning.
NOW, if the dementia is not severe and dad is still making his own decisions correctly in most things, then you need the attorney to assign you conservator for all executive functions.
Whatever the case, this is where the very hard work starts. You as POA have to protect Dad's assets even against him. GATHER ALL EVIDENCE of this. You need to see an Elder Law Attorney. Your father's assets pay for this, but again, you need to keep meticulous records.
You also may find ways to set up some computer blocking devises to lock things down as a start.
Here are some strategies that might help:
Limit Access to Financial Resources:
Consider keeping his credit and debit cards in a secure place, and if he insists on having a card, use a prepaid card with a low balance to minimize risk.
Many banks offer tools like spending limits or notifications for transactions, which can help you monitor his finances discreetly.
Redirect Behavior:
Blocking access to harmful websites using parental controls or filtering software can be a helpful preventive measure.
Try introducing safe online activities or hobbies to shift his focus from unsafe behaviors.
Use Professional Support:
Consulting with an elder care attorney is an excellent idea. They can help you set up legal protections like a power of attorney or conservatorship to safeguard his finances and decisions.
A geriatric care manager or social worker can also provide guidance on handling these situations effectively.
Seek Emotional Support:
Managing these challenges can take a toll on caregivers. Joining a support group or speaking with others who’ve faced similar situations can offer valuable
insights and emotional relief.