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Mom was approved for Medicaid's LTC and we placed her in a memory care facility the day before yesterday.

Here's my fear. When the whole application process started back in August, things were pretty bad as far as her decline in health. She was in the hospital for three days in August and since then has improved by quite a bit. Will the facility, or LTC tell me that Mom doesn't belong in the program because of the progress that she's made? She has been diagnosed with dementia and it was having an impact on her ADLS. I have cPTSD from living with her (as a child and now because she was living with us), and am not sure if that's where this fear is coming from or if it is a legitimate concern.
TL;DR: I'm afraid that Mom's memory care facility or the LTC program will say that she doesn't belong there because of the progress she's made in her ADLs since the application process started.

She may be able to make progress with her ADLs, but that doesn't mean her dementia is cured. She has dementia. It will affect other functions of her body besides memory and ability to do ADLs. Executive function, for instance. She may remain able to do a stellar job of brushing her teeth but won't be able to resist the impulse of throwing the toothbrush in the toilet. She may understand that her new room is down the hall but be unable to adjust to the idea that she's supposed to sleep there. And on and on.

The memory facility has seen many patients like your mom and will understand what she's going through. She will be evaluated from time to time for all her skills and even how the skills work together. Let them do what they do best while you adjust to mom's living elsewhere and being someone else's problem to solve. Good luck to both you and mom.
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Reply to Fawnby
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She can improve but still need 24/7 care. Dementia gets you into LTC. Thats all that was wrong with my Mom healthwise. High blood pressure meds was all she was on.

You cannot be made to care for her. She will decline. Its inevitable.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I was worried about the exact same thing! While my mom's health has increased greatly with proper nutrition, medication and hygiene her memory has not recovered one iota. Unfortunately for most people, although perhaps fortunate for you and I, dementia never goes backwards. I think you're safe now.
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Reply to Slartibartfast
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Stardust 16 hours ago
Honestly, I'm just so glad to hear that it's not just me! I'm glad to hear that your mom's health improved. Thank you for taking the time to answer!
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It probably depends on the facility, but my mom is one of the highest functioning residents and they still kept her. One other woman hires a companion to take her grocery shopping and sometimes she goes on vacation trips with family. I hope you are getting therapy and can heal from the pain. My mom has just passed the two year mark of getting placed and it's been such a blessing to know she is taken care of and I can do as little as I wish outside the POA duties. The first few months were the worst and I also feared she would not get to stay. It has worked out though.
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Reply to JustAnon
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Stardust 16 hours ago
Yes, I'm so looking forward to being able to pick and choose when I see her rather than it being 24/7. That sounds bad, but it's been a tough 4 years being under the same roof with her again.
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Dementia doesn’t go away, though many have wished otherwise. She may be higher functioning than some other residents but it won’t change the appropriateness of the setting for her. You’re traumatized from caring for her, time to relax and let go a bit. You get to be a friendly face and advocate now, enjoy the new role
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Stardust 16 hours ago
Thank you, yes, I'm so looking forward to that new role! You hit the nail on the head with the trauma comment. Hopefully, the letting go bit won't be challenging!
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