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I agree with Hothouseflower There are times as I sift through the hoard my mom left me to deal with that I feel a little sad - finding old pictures from happier times, and letters from lifelong friend she had. But overall I'm able to do it (with the 30 yard dumpster) pretty mechanically because mom just let things pile up decade after decade, knowing it would all become my problem. And she never had any kind of plan, (despite having some means), for her aging other than to have me be her nurse, chore girl, house manager, complaint department and much more.

I'm running on anger and resentment. Someday in the future the sadness will probably catch up with me. But not now. It's a continuation of the misery.
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Oedgar23 Apr 1, 2024
I truly understand this. I’m sorry.
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Double post.
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I think it's normal to feel this way. I know many who have. We're not there yet, have a 92 year old father who still lives independently in a 55+ community. This topic worries him though. He gets upset about nobody wanting Mom's old clothes, purses, jewelry (mostly costume)....etc. She passed a couple of years back. He asked repeatedly who wants the upright piano (nobody), who will take her Hummel figurines...etc. We tell him we'll sort it out down the road....meaning when he passes someday.

The reality is...nobody in the family wants any of it. We'll keep some photos, maybe a moment here and there. But thereafter, all of the contents will go to Goodwill and the rest to a dumpster. The home itself is a 55+ neighborhood where my spouse and I have no interest in living. It's very important for him to "leave us the house"....but, his assets are nearly gone, and the house is worth 400K...and so it may very well need to be sold for any care he needs down the road.
Honestly, I feel more stressed about him being stressed....than any guilt at all. We have no attachment to any of the stuff or the house.
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I do not and did not feel guilt at all. I am the guardian for my father and when I was downsizing him, I contacted my siblings and asked if there was anything they wanted from the house. They picked what they wanted, I shipped it to them and the rest donated to Alzheimer's Association, Goodwill, AmVets and dumpster. I have seen too many families being destroyed when dividing things from family. I told my siblings, take whatever you want, I want nothing, if there is a conflict with 2 or more sibling wanting the same item, resolve among themselves, leave me out. Gave them 2 weeks to iron things out. Asked them to send the list to all siblings so they were all aware of what each other wanted, for full transparency. Anything over $50 shipping cost would be arranged and paid by them. Made them sign the agreement, clearly stating timelines and expectancies. Full disclosure. No, did not work as planned but I kept my promise and my schedule. There were fights and they kept trying to pull me in, but I did not budge. sent notice that time was running out, resolve it or it will be donated. Yes it turned out I was the "bad person" and only 1 out of 5 siblings still talking to me, I am fine with that, but I got it done.
No guilt, No regrets.
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