After being with Momma for a couple of days - we have noticed that she is having trouble with walking. She shuffles her feet. Has fallen a couple of times and cannot walk for a distance. She will always have to have your arm for support and puts all of her weight on you. I have posted this before about her venting and $%#@$%#! about family and friends. If you try to explain why that person is that way or to just let it go - look on the bright side of things. She does not want to hear it. She will get agitated and then lash out at you (something negative) that she has heard from other family members. She repeats things she shouldn't say. She does this to me - not my husband. Acts different in front of her friends and family and then talks bad about them behind there backs. She argues with you, but I have learned on this part it is not just me - she argues with my brother, sister and housekeeper. I used to let all of this go, but with everything that my husband and I have done for her for the past 5 years - I speak up to her and confront her. When I do - she doesn't have anything to say. I know that this is just "her" and that now she is getting older and probably dementia it is getting and will get worse, but I am going to protect myself and husband.
You may have to get creative in getting her to the doctor. Some suggests that they have to see the doctor to continue getting their social security or some new rule that you have to get immunizations for new health laws.....whatever it takes. You can provide the letter to the doctor in advance describing her symptoms. He may be able to test her for some things in his office or figure out what is causing her mobility issues. He may also adjust her meds.
The most important thing is to have her treated properly. Mental anguish is just as painful as physical pain. I'd try to address that. And if your brother and the housekeeper can care for her at home, then, I would keep check to see that they do that.
Good luck and I hope this helps a little...
If brother is in charge, then I would I give him my input and let him and sister handle it. I would keep in mind that if he is the family member who is responsible for her, then he needs to ensure that she is getting proper medical attention. There are ways to get her to a doctor, even if you have to call 911.
I would try to get past feeling hurt by what a senior with dementia says. They have brain damage. Don't take it personally. She likely has no memory of what she may have said. People with this conditions may say all kinds of things. They may suffer from delusions and believe things that are true. I would try to read a lot about the condition so you don't hold on to the comments.
I'd be careful of her walking. Often balance is poor due to a number of possibilities. She may have some other condition or a stroke. I would watch her mobility since a fall can result in a fracture and that is bad news. Rough recovery for seniors and they don't fare well with anesthesia and hospitals. My cousin suffered a series of falls and then was not able to walk. Her legs move okay in some directions, but the signals to walk don't work right. I think that at least 80% of the residents in her Memory Care unit are wheelchair or bed bound.
I have found that it's not uncommon for a dementia patient to not be pleasant, kind or rational. The damage to the brain seems to impair that ability in some people. There seems to be many who are troubled. Have you discussed medication with her doctor? Maybe she's depressed? An improvement in her mood, might make her be more content.