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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Krislzreal, Your expression of such extreme grief concerns me and I will ask you to know when you need help of clergy or a licensed social worker who deals with life change issues to help you walk the awful walk you are on. Also know that there are things to read out there that may help you. Start with Oliver Sacks essays on dementia, and on injured minds. He spent his entire life on study of impaired minds and came at the end to a sort of peace with knowing that their minds are still THERE, they are just DIFFERENT in a way we cannot identify with. I am so sorry. Stick around. There are many here in every single stage from shock to despair to desperation to curiosity, in every stage of caring and learning and throwing hands up into the air. There are so many. When you drive down the streets, behind the doors of any number of folks are those dealing with all of this in one way or the other. Hugs out to you. Take it a day at a time. Try not to jump ahead and address everything. Allow yourself to storm, to grieve, to go into a fetal positions with depression. Then get up, do something you love, walk, talk, learn. Wishing you so much luck.
Er... how far have you got?! You've clearly recognised that your mother has dementia, but what about scans, tests, diagnoses and the rest of it? Are you working with her doctors, have you been given information about what to expect and where to find resources?
If your mother has not been examined by a doctor recently, take her to one as soon as possible. Having dementia does not stop you having other things wrong with you, and she needs checking out thoroughly.
If you're looking for explanations of the effects of the dementia, alz.org is a good start - lots of diagrams and subject headings.
Repetitive questioning is just one of the common challenges, but boy! is it a challenge. Teepa Snow, occupational therapist and dementia guru, has videos online which many people have found both enlightening and of practical help.
What is possibly going on, in the roughest of layman's sketches, is that your mother's hippocampus is... buggered, I believe is the technical term. Imagine an etch-a-sketch that got wiped automatically every few seconds. That's her short-term memory, unable to retain information for long enough to process it.
Sometimes they simply don't remember they have already asked. Sometimes it is what I call a verbal tic, the brain gets stuck in a loop kind of like when a record plays the same spot over and over (if you're old enough to get that reference). Often that is a sign of anxiety or some unmet need that they can't express, filling that need can be helpful but figuring out what it is can take patience and a lot of detective work.
With little to no information or background in your post, it’s impossible for us to offer any opinions or ideas. How long since Mom has seen her doctor? She needs to be seen and evaluated to determine if it’s dementia or just signs of aging.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I am so sorry. Stick around. There are many here in every single stage from shock to despair to desperation to curiosity, in every stage of caring and learning and throwing hands up into the air. There are so many. When you drive down the streets, behind the doors of any number of folks are those dealing with all of this in one way or the other.
Hugs out to you. Take it a day at a time. Try not to jump ahead and address everything. Allow yourself to storm, to grieve, to go into a fetal positions with depression. Then get up, do something you love, walk, talk, learn. Wishing you so much luck.
Er... how far have you got?! You've clearly recognised that your mother has dementia, but what about scans, tests, diagnoses and the rest of it? Are you working with her doctors, have you been given information about what to expect and where to find resources?
If your mother has not been examined by a doctor recently, take her to one as soon as possible. Having dementia does not stop you having other things wrong with you, and she needs checking out thoroughly.
If you're looking for explanations of the effects of the dementia, alz.org is a good start - lots of diagrams and subject headings.
Repetitive questioning is just one of the common challenges, but boy! is it a challenge. Teepa Snow, occupational therapist and dementia guru, has videos online which many people have found both enlightening and of practical help.
What is possibly going on, in the roughest of layman's sketches, is that your mother's hippocampus is... buggered, I believe is the technical term. Imagine an etch-a-sketch that got wiped automatically every few seconds. That's her short-term memory, unable to retain information for long enough to process it.
and yes I feel like killing myself so I don’t have to watch my mother deteriorate right in front of me
Sometimes it is what I call a verbal tic, the brain gets stuck in a loop kind of like when a record plays the same spot over and over (if you're old enough to get that reference). Often that is a sign of anxiety or some unmet need that they can't express, filling that need can be helpful but figuring out what it is can take patience and a lot of detective work.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/respond-when-dementia-causes-elder-to-repeat-150912.htm