Limiting cigarette consumption for dad with short term memory loss. Any suggestions?

Half a pack = 10 cigarettes. Personally I don't think that he is a heavy smoker. My parents both smoked 5 packs a day.

If he can afford to smoke then I would leave it alone. Of course it is addicting, that has been proven, the challenge is that the addition is because it causes serotonin production and that is our feel good hormone. What will you replace the cigarettes with? You can't take something that provides pleasure away without filling the void you will be creating.

Sometimes we have to let people do what they can afford to do, whether we agree or not. Buying cartons of cigarettes is the cheapest way to purchase them. Seriously consider how to let dad retain his autonomy as long as possible and do the things that he enjoys, to soon he will not have any choices so let him have them while he is still able.

I’d be more worried about the fire hazard!

Smoking is as addictive as heroin. This is a clinically proven fact. IMO you shouldn't spend your mental and emotional energy trying to make his quitting come about -- you won't be able to.

As for the cost...can you write a number on the filters of each cigarette, like "1 of 10", "2 of 10"... up to "10 of 10 LAST ONE" ? This *may* help get around the memory issue, but maybe not. Again, there's only so much energy you should realistically be putting towards this.

My son is a smoker and lived with us until recently. When it was "time'" for him to have a cigarette he would turn from Mr. Jekyll into Monster Hyde and I'd insist I couldn't continue talking to him until he had a ciggy break. I hate that that was a thing, but it was reality. He has to want to quit on his own and I think your dad is beyond this hope.

Your father's life is already ruined with dementia, why ruin it even further by taking away one of his last remaining pleasures? If you find a device like you mention in your post, that will only make him even MORE focused ON smoking rather than getting his mind OFF of it. There is no 'winning' at the game of addiction. Plus, smoking a half a pack a day is not THAT bad! There's more of a fire hazard than anything else going on, but another issue you can't really control, so let IT go too. That's my suggestion. Dementia is a condition that makes a person unreasonable; you can't argue with him or get through to him on any level, really.........so why bother?

Let him alone. My mother is 94 with dementia. She loves her snacks & sweets & is overweight as a result. Who cares? Now is no time to put her on a diet or worry about her cholesterol either, you know? The last thing I want to do is prolong her life in THIS condition!

Wishing you the best of luck accepting your father as he is.

I hope you find that dispenser you're looking for but won't that frustrate him to no end??? Here's a suggestion: Open the packs and remove 2-3 from each. Divide the stash in two boxes and where he won't look but can easily find if you direct him on the phone. When he runs out at least you have a stash backup, which MAY cut down on trips to replenish.

Oh my gosh, my brother was so addicted to smoking that he lit up a cigarette in the ER! Smoking is extremely hard to quit.

I took him to the ER one evening. He was saying that he needed to smoke.

I asked him to please wait until he spoke with the doctor and be treated and later he could light up when we left the hospital.

I left for a brief moment to use the restroom. I came back to the waiting area in the ER separated by curtains only to find my brother smoking a cigarette in the hospital!

I had to threaten to leave before he put it out, even then he was screaming to me, “One or two more drags off of it, then I am done!” Grrrrrrrrrr!!!

I was freaking out. People were near us with oxygen tanks!

Oh my gosh, sometimes I look back and say, I don’t know how I survived.

I really loved my brother but I was also a complete fool to care for him.

Or I was completely brainwashed and programmed for a long time to be a caregiver to a very stubborn man!

He had two sides. The other side was very compassionate and caring that would invite homeless people to sleep in his apartment on cold winter nights.

Maybe it was a combo of all of them!

I learned to immediately ask for a nicotine patch for him.

I wish you all the best as you tackle this difficult problem. I feel for smokers. It tough to kick!

I also feel for you because I know that it’s hard as the family member to watch them battle this addiction.

Just remembering my uncle on my dad’s side. He was something else, the polar opposite of my dad! Single and carefree!

Anyway, most of the servicemen smoked in their day.

If you were fighting in a world war and smoking calmed your nerves, you might smoke too!

My dad picked up smoking in the service. I believe all of his brothers did as well.

My dad quit because mom didn’t smoke and did not want him smoking in the house around us.

Anyway, my uncle was a bachelor and continued smoking.

He had his larynx removed. Guess what? He still smoked!

My mom and dad said, “What is the point of him quitting now?” He’s dying.

No one said a word to him about quitting or about his smoking.

I couldn't find a cigarette timed dispenser. There was one on amazon but out of stock and unknown restock date. I did, however, think about a dog/cat timed feeder. Found this one that you could put a couple of cigarettes in the tray, as it turns you get them out. https://www.amazon.com/PetSafe-Meal-Feeder-Dogs-Cats/dp/B000GEWHNS?tag=october2019rover-20

I would suggest if you use something like this - watch him to see if there are certain times he smokes a little more than others. Like just after breakfast, lunch, supper (smokers tend to enjoy smoking after a meal). If he naps during the afternoon, say, give a bigger gap in the time. Set it up like smoke breaks at work. A couple of cigs 7.30 or 8, then 1 at 10 for smoke break time, a couple at lunch, 1 mid afternoon (unless he naps then), divide the remaining 4 cigs from about 5 to bedtime.

Just breaking the habit of sitting in a chair and having them sitting right next to him can help to retrain the brain of constantly reaching for one. He would have to get up out of the chair and go to kitchen or across the room to see if it's time for the machine to give him a cigarette. Good luck on this.

This is something that is so close to me, thank you so much for raising this point. I am in the UK. My father lives alone, has alienated himself from all of his family, friends and neighbours, and one of the many reasons for this has been his cigar habit. He has smoked miniature cigars for 60 years. Apart from the obvious health and anti social reasons that make this difficult to endure, his lack of mobility, and financial means now mean that he is spending approximately £350-£400 per month on cigars that someone else, namely me, have to source and supply. He has a state pension and is on social security, he never put money away for his old age, and actually mocked those who did... he sees any penny not spent on his cigars as a waste, and turned down care he needs because he said ‘ he has no need for it’ as he has a daughter! This is money that he could well do with for care. Whilst in hospital recently, the nurses rang to get consent to slap a nicotine patch on him as he was absolutely obnoxious to all the staff on the ward. It worked quite well, so we continued with it when he was discharged, in the hope that perhaps if he didn’t have the craving, that plus the memory loss of his dementia would work to at least reduce his count. But he is back up to his 20 PER DAY(!!!) due to his lies and a few well meaning old friends who see ‘not harm’ in an old chap smoking what they see as a ‘few cigars’ ; he has Alzheimer’s disease and yet I am shocked by the sneaky methods he will go to to try and access more and more. Stock piling, writing to people and inventing amazing stories to get people to buy him his smokes. To me it is comparable to any other substance dependency, and should be recognised as requiring expert practitioner care, and a united ‘tough love’ approach from any friends or family tasked with supporting the ‘sufferer’ but I find that time and time again my efforts to manage this are undermined by ‘do-gooders’ either lied to by my father or people who see my efforts as simply some sort of power trip!
I have tried leaving a certain quantity, but he has no ‘filter’ ( pardon the smoking pun!) you can leave two packs,or ten packs... he cannot gauge the supply, he will just smoke the lot then call up, anytime of the day or night, for more. He has no concept of the cost, and refuses to accept reminders or refusals to bring more. If you try to remain him you just delivered some, he simply denies it. If he doesn’t get them he creates absolute mayhem, faking emergencies, and telling everyone how cruel I am. It’s been, and continues to be a nightmare. I too have tried to source some form of slow release ‘safe’ but to no avail and I suspect that were there something like that, he would no doubt find a way of forcing it open, and it would be unlikely to have enough compartments to allow me a few days ‘off’ cigar duty anyway.
I used to make sure he always had at least £50-£100 in his wallet so should an emergency occur, or I was unable to get to him for a few days, he would at least have the funds to get himself to hospital, or have a neighbour buy him essential supplies... but because he just calls up an unscrupulous cab company to pick them up for him, I have now resorted to concealing cash about his apartment, easily accessible should he or someone need to access it. I have also had fun and games hiding packs of cigars about the place, like some messed up party game, in the hope I might gain the occasional day off...to no avail. He will turn the place upside and I know the repercussions only fall to me to tidy up, or sort out.
Were it not for the horrendous cost, I would have no problem with his smoking himself into oblivion, but it’s just not that simple...
they say to remove yourself from toxic relationships, but how can you when you’re the only person who is providing all needs to someone who is both so frail, and yet so selfish & cunnng at the same time. Nobody really understands the real damage of this cycle.

Donte1432, I know how frustrated you are over this. Lots of good suggestions given. Several concerns being the smoking it self, the cost, fear of fire. Addictions at this stage are tough to overcome. 10 cigs a day is not a lot in the overall scheme of things. Good luck with your efforts. If you can guide him to meet your goals which are not his in a loving way you both will feel better. Take care to manage your stress. Wishing you good days!