I have been taking care of my MIL for 2 years. She moved from NJ and was told it was time for her to not live alone anymore. My Husband and I along with our 3 children to move her into our home with us. I quit my Job to accommodate the situation.
Mom is no welling us she wants to go home. She feels neglected and has no purpose. I know I can not take things personally. But it's not easy.. She wake up very confused, this has just started in the last week.
What can I say or do to help her to come to terms with her emotions?
My Mom [98] started to ask about going home and I was thinking it was the house she and Dad had shared, and where Dad was still living. Then I realized it wasn't that house, it was her parents/siblings house. She wanted to visit with her parents, so I had to use what is called "theraputic fibs" to smooth out the situation. I told Mom that her parents were visiting the old country [which they use to do a lot], and my Mom accepted that. Until the next day, when Mom wanted to visit her sisters [all of whom had passed], and depending on what sister she wanted to see, I had create a reason that she couldn't go.
This of course is the thing most heard most often by everyone on the forum. Whatever works for you works, and sometimes there is nothing that works. The end of life isn't about happy all the time, and there is just no way to make it so. Don't let her emotions be your responsibility. There is no way you can control them or heal them. Just do the best you can.
And some choose honesty such as "I am so sorry, Mom, but you aren't well enough to be home alone right now".