I am very upset. is in a place called Trump Pavilion in Jamaica, Queens. The stroke was severe and I heard from my brother, an attorney who has power of attorney and proxy status that she has had very little improvement over the course of her therapy. She can't move her leg, let alone walk or stand, and her arm is totally paralyzed. I am going crazy not seeing her or speaking with her.
I've been reading your posts about the state of your apartment. Well. A studio apartment isn't built to house more than one person comfortably anyway. I suppose, hypothetically, if we're going back over old ground, the place to put your finger on would be your mother's allowing you to move in with her originally. She was being protective of you, I expect, and if you were having a struggle at that time - it really is a long time ago, now - she probably just wanted to do something to make everything work out for you. I don't suppose it was ever anybody's idea that you'd stay put for good.
Hoarding is a very particular thing. You probably have got tendencies (so have I, I regret to say), but whether or not it goes to extremes - I haven't seen where you live, so I can't tell. Anyhow, it's going to be sorted out now, isn't it?! Like it or not.
I don't think you have much grounds to bitch about the sheriff's charges. Let me guess who's paying them - not you, I'll be bound. I'm pulling your leg here, but do you reckon your brother kind of wishes the people who clear the apartment could be bribed into taking you too? You'd have to be properly wrapped and labelled, of course… Sorry, you're probably not in the mood for gallows humour.
Right then. When is all this happening? You say if there were elderly people resident in the apartment the sheriff would have to call in agencies to help them relocate. Well, you're not elderly but you are vulnerable. When you were in hospital those times, did anyone have power of attorney for you? - or act as your advocate? I hope it wasn't your mother. If it was, that responsibility will perhaps have been transferred to somebody else.
Tell me what you expect to happen, and when, please? I've lost track of where you've got to.
By the way, what business is it of someone you're planning to rent a place from that your mother had a stroke? I'm curious as to how that came up. Ask your caseworker to help you work out a script for these calls. The people you're speaking to don't want or need to hear your life story, just that you're looking for a place, you're not a nightmare tenant and you can pay the rent.
I hope you're doing ok, post when you can.
It sounds to me like you are being consumed by your feelings of guilt in the situation, which certainly can't help your mental state.
With the sheriff coming soon to evict you, I wouldn't even bother trying to make an appointment for tomorrow. You need to get yourself to the ER now, tonight, for admittance. You obviously won't take the reins to guide your own life and haven't for years. You need a guardian to make sure you are safe and healthy.
You need a lot more than your poor mother right now. I'm glad she is in a safe place and receiving the help she needs. I advise you to seek help immediately
for the same.
I wish you success at your next interview for supportive housing. You are clearly mentally ill and deserve that support. Please reach out for that help.
Meanwhile, you will have to vacate the apartment. Please do not be a holdover. Move before the sheriff accompanies you out.
The task of cleaning up the hoarder apartment is overwhelming, but can you at least pick out the items you will need. You don't need to take 3 broken bicycles to a temporary room. You do need a warm jacket. I hope you have the strength to do some sorting.
Has your brother claimed the items you mother will want?
Let us know where you end up next, Scott. I'm puzzled and a little disgusted but I do care.
Then, it changed to focusing more on you, your mental health issues and finally your need to fine housing. As many have already said, the only thing that you have any influence or control over right now is taking care of yourself and where you are going to live. This is where the thread has gone in its focus since I am not exactly sure when.
People are trying to help you deal with what you can actually do something about! Do you not appreciate that?
Would you rather still be repeating your initial concerns about your feeling about your mom who has had this stroke whom you cannot see, and your brother is now in charge of her care?
I don't know of anything more that anyone can do for you. You must use the advice and support that has been given and move forward with your life instead of just letting life just happen to you and not taking responsibility for your own present and future life.
You are he one who has the power to chose if you want to live as a victim of circumstances that you just let roll over you or live as a person who works hard for victory in their lives to overcome their circumstances.Your dad is no longer around to help you and your mother is no longer available to help you. You must help yourself with the resources that are available to you. That's life!
As an adult child of a hoarder, I can tell you they can hoard people, animals, and any living things (Confessions: Animal Hoarding shows how I was raised). I was hoarded, barely allowed out of the house growing up, and mthr repeatedly threatened suicide if I went to college. Turns out that is normal behavior for hoarders - they won't take no as an answer when people set boundaries. Brother rescuing mom from Scott was probably the best thing that can happen.
So Scott, you have to give up your stuff. A homeless shelter is probably the best place for you, as they won't let you keep more than what you can carry in and out.
The sheriff doesn't remove anything. I didn't say he did that. I don't know what happens, he just executes. That's all, for 135 dollars plus 15 dollars for each person. I think I am what is considered a holdover, someone who won't vacate. That's all he does, come in and tell me to vacate the premises. If there were elderly people present he might have to call ems or whatever agency he needs to call in. That's it.
You know, when you call about a room or apartment, you don't have to tell the person about your mother having had a stroke. It might confuse him, he might think you were looking for a place for her. All you need to say is that the apartment you live in is being sold and you have to move.
Well, independently of how an eviction works, what's important is for you to get ahead of the process, so you aren't just sitting there waiting for them to come, and you don't have to walk out with your spare clothes over your arm. Go ahead and pack your personal belongings and find a place to store them before the eviction, so that the sheriff doesn't remove them. Do you think the doorman at your building, or your cousin or your aunt would store them for you? Particularly if they were all packed neatly?
Thank you for letting us know what's happening with you. I'm pulling for you to get past this rough spot and make a good life for yourself.
This was information not from the sheriff's page but from another source.
My mother had started going to church, which I learned from the many times I tried to call her on Sunday morning. They still answer the phone there at the nursing station on the second floor south where she is. Today I called early, around 830 am, and I think she was right there. I could have given my brother's name, just to get her on the line and maybe she would say a few words to me, but I didn't. I called back and she had gone to church; I think they have a nondenominational church there. I went over to the church right near here, too. Immaculate Conception is the church's name. Everything was in Spanish, though, I was in the wrong church, they have two in the building. I used to always ask her to go for walks with me, short ones; the house on the corner down a block from the church has been completely torn down. I used to go out to the store with her too, I should have been going to the store for her.
I just wanted to see what it was like at the church. They had some singing and music, probably reflective of the large Hispanic congregation. I've been looking at ads on Craig's List too. One guy replied, he had a questionnarre
Ok just got off the phone. Didn't seem to interested after I mentioned my mother having a stroke. Maybe it wasn't so great, no kitchen, wasn't so sure I was interested in that. I could go over and take a look anyway. It's pretty local to here I think, but the guy would only give the address if I was planning to go over.
Well, it is what it is. Looks like you will be in the homeless shelter for a while. How long you stay there depends on what you do about it. I hope and pray you make good choices. Meanwhile, I gather it is cold there and you would do better with a decent amount of warm clothing with you. Homelessness is less of an issue where the climate is good. But I guess you are used to the winters there and know how to survive them.
Thanks for the update and keep us informed. (((((hugs))))