My mom has mid stage Alzheimer and has a caregiver daily from morning to early evening. She forgets the caregiver comes everyday. I have been calling her in the morning to remind her. This leads to her refusing the need for the CG and she can become very argumentative or say she wants to be alone today. At times I have not called and my mom has sent the CG away. This has made it very stressful in the mornings for both my mom and me. Do I call or not?
No, nothing goes smoothly. You need to get your brother, sister an niece involved. And no, in the last two to three years, I was only able to spend a limited amount of time on my business. I would get up very early to get some peace and get some things done. I did this by myself, excepting the outside caregivers I hired, that was a Mother and daughter team. Outside agencies did not present the flexibility I needed...and the intial person (caregiver) could change next week. Not a good thing when, like your Mother is used to and gets along with a particular caregiver. Then the reorientation period starts all over again. My Mother was also diabetic, so it took a watchful eye. You are doing a great job in what you've done, but you are going to need additional help, and/or someone your Mother trusts and can be entertained by. I still suggest you move her into your house if you want to maintain your mission. And trust me, it will be rough, but better than the other potential options..at least for right now. Your Mother still has a quality of life, which many people that don't want to get involved, lable or say "what is her quality of life". You are doing the right things, to the best of your abilities...but try and get family much more involved. FYI, I am developing a website and a video, and writing a book as to my experience(s) with this devastating disease. You see, in the last many years, my Mother confused me with many of her deceased brothers, her Mother and Father. I had to pThe website address is www.eyes-n-ears.net, but has not yet been published. Keep in touch. I'll help to answer your questions as best I can, based on my experience. Hang in there...Mark
No paid caregiver involved yet. I do have a brother, sister and niece, nobody else actually much involved but me right now, no great need just yet. Mom is still able to function in her own home at this point as long as I see her daily, give her her meds, see that she's eaten, take her out daily in her car for a few hours and keep her a bit entertained (she doesn't drive anymore). I'm her POA and have done her "paperwork" for years (dad's been gone 10 years now). I walk through her house daily, check the fridge, etc. She knows full well she can move in with me anytime but fights me on this and most other things, which is fine for now, we're managing. She can afford to have someone else cut her grass, etc., I refuse to take care of her outdoor work; I have my own which is more than enough. I have been able to work from home as a medical transcriber full time second shift for many years; that will unfortunately end soon due to technology/being outsourced to India. I'm currently training to be a CNA; too young to retire, need to continue to work full time, have a mortgate, need insurance. More info than you need here, sorry. It appears things went fairly smoothly for you with your mom in your home with caregivers, and she was fortunate to have you. Even though I'm training to be a CNA myself, I'm thinking there's no way I could find a company that would gainfully employ me to care for my own mom, but haven't done the homework on that one. I'd get her a caregiver and probably be employed in a LTCF myself in the evenings till I can retire.
If you are off to work, outside of your residence, maybe an option would be, as I noted, to move her in with you. Otherwise, you move in with her if you want to keep her away from Assisted living/nursing. And continue on with the caregiver. I am curious as to what is being paid to the caregiver on a daily basis, because this would also have an impact on decisions in moving forward. Also, do you have any family members that provide help, and to what extent...or are you doing managing this all my yourself?