Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
Hoarders suffer a form of OCD. Some times, they might improve with psychiatric treatment (SSRI's). However, they usually have no insight and do not cooperate with treatment. Your asking her to be normal is unrealistic because she can't change on her own. Her suicide threats by starvation are manipulative attempts. Ignore them. If she refuses psych treatment, there will be no solution to your problem. Nagging her will never work, because she is sick. If you rescue an alcoholic and bring it to your home, you can't tell him/her that you won't allow drinking alcohol in your home. This is a similar situation,
Helpful Answer (9)
Report
Becky04489 May 2022
where

T.Champ, Where do you get your medical/psychological information??
(4)
Report
See 4 more replies
It may well be time now to consider placement where Mom doesn't have the opportunity to Hoard. That is an untenable situation for you and your home to be placed in, and Mom won't be able to control nor change her behavior at this point. You do need to understand that at this point the removal of her last "treasure" would likely have a serious affect on her. Her wish to "go" is likely to her a very rational one; she would prefer it to losing the last of her "stuff" and her personal connection to it is like losing the "self".
I suggest you start with a counselor versed in hoarding behavior; there are specialists in this. Try to consider with that person what options may exist. I am so sorry for all you are going through and wish you well.
Helpful Answer (13)
Report
JaxJoni May 2022
Yes, I do greatly need professional advice on how I can best handle this. I can go in and deep clean, toss and declutter - BUT I will be the bad guy again, and it will precipitate another extreme reaction from Mom.

Time for the professionals to do their thing, for Mom to hear it from others and not just her daughter. I can wait for the for the mental health support resources and not move forward on my own at this point.
(1)
Report
How hurtful of your mother to threaten you in this way after what you have experienced with your husband. Her behavior seems manipulative and just plain mean.

Has she always been like this?
Helpful Answer (10)
Report
AlvaDeer May 2022
Hoarding is a mental illness. Her Mom isn't in control of her actions.
(8)
Report
See 4 more replies
Jax, welcome!

Certainly, call her doctor, but when ANYONE threatens suicide (whether by starvation or other means) the appropriate response is to call 911 and have the person taken to a hospital that has a proper psychiatric unit.

Once mom is admitted to the hospital, you are entirely within your rights to tell the social workers that you will NOT be allowing her to return to your home as this would be an "unsafe discharge". You are not equipped (nor are any of us) to deal with someone with this level of mental illness (hoarding is, by definition, a mental illness).

Just to note, my MIL did in fact starve herself to death; she decided, after ill-advised aortic aneurysm surgery and possibly a stroke during recovery that she was done and refused food.

She was admitted to a nursing home and died there about 2 months later.
Helpful Answer (14)
Report
XenaJada May 2022
I had a relative who did thatas well.
(2)
Report
See 1 more reply
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter