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Wow. People troll on social media all the time. Do something to stop this now. Okay, I see the OP posted the update.
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While this internet person may be ignorant of the situation with you mom, he might just be an innocent person looking to meet a nice new lady-friend. The issue or learning here is what YOU need to do - to protect you, your family, and your mom. He is perhaps a welcome(d) RED FLAG for you to become aware of needing to take new action(s) as discussed. Unless you have been reading the conversation strings, some - or most - of this scenario may be a fantasy you mom is creating. Still, it is good in that you are more aware of needing to change the status quo - and how you care / interact / understand your mom and her condition. Gena.
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Hi, this is OP and I really want to give my heartfelt thanks to everyone that has offered support and advice to me during this stressful situation.
As I stated earlier, mom and I had words. I let her know that she was not going anywhere with a strange man she met on the internet. She was not to give our address to anyone without my approval and that I was doing this because I love her and was worried for her safety.
I am not a confrontational person and have always tried to be kind and loving to mom, but this was unacceptable.
After the dust settled and I had time to look into what was actually being posted on this site, I found that the man was talking vulgar and did say he wanted to meet my mom and do things to her.... ugh! She was not innocent in this conversation either.... she made questionable comments and she did put an address on there, but it wasn’t correct and was just a street number with no street name.
Unfortunately when she went outside at 10pm at night, I didn’t know what exactly was going on and I had to react in a way to protect her and myself. Thankfully no one showed up and we weren’t in danger but this situation could have ended badly.
Mom is now at my brothers for a while as we both needed a break, I have not had a day away from caring for her in 3 years. My brother and sister in law are doing their best to care for her and she is in a safe place. We have disconnected her access to this dating website in the transition from my home to theirs so hopefully she will forget about it when she comes back or I will have to tell her it was shut down.
The truth is caregiving is hard. Hindsight is 20/20 and we all do the best we can.
Some people on here have criticized my actions saying mom should be able to do whatever she wants. But she has dementia and is not in her right mind and I’m just a daughter doing the best I can.
Thanks so much for the support and for taking the time to reply when I was at my wits end.
Your kindness is a blessing and I hope I can be there for some of you in the future.
Hugs, Kathy
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Ahmijoy Aug 2018
Hey, Kathy. I’m glad you’re getting a break from your caregiving. Pay no attention to the people who said you should let mom have free reign or those who said she should go ahead and meet the creep because he might be a lonely little old man. Yuk. I’m glad she wasn’t cognizant enough to give out your right address. Make sure wherever she does her internet surfing that it’s not written down anywhere for her to read off of.

At at some point, you will probably need to have it out with Mom again. I know how difficult this is because I am non- confrontational as well. You are a saint for caring for your mom. Three years with no break. Wow. Don’t let that happen again, for your own mental health. If Assisted Living isn’t in her future, then brother will need to step up more often.

Bless you for what you’re doing. Sending hugs!
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((HUGS))!!! you deserve all the hugs you can get. I believe you did the correct thing. Since she has dementia you just can't let her do whatever she wishes, especially since it involves your family and your home. Please accept these hugs from me. ((HUGS)), ((HUGS)), and more ((HUGS)).
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You must get a Durable Power of Attorney as soon as you can, although she may not consent to it.

Perhaps you could double date with them, go with them and offer to treat them with something they would like to do. Or offer to play a game at your house.
Call the police when gets ready to leave. Here, Police were very helpful when my mom ran away. Can you speak to her doctor?
I see that you solved this issue. My mom ran away in her pjs. Called the police turned me in for elder abuse. then ran away. We put her in an ambulance and took her to a locked down facility for 2 weeks and them to memory care. She is in assisted living now doing pretty good
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