What did they do to help them or make it stop? My mother has been living in an AL for 6 months now. She used to take $50.00 (her allowance) out of her account to use for things that she needed to buy. Twice it has been stolen. The workers at her facility all have master keys that can open their rooms and can go in there whenever they want. Not that they are supposed to of course but if they know the resident is in the dining room, at a special event, out for the day or whatever they know the resident will not know if they went in. Today my mother had $50.00 stolen from her room. She has dementia and a really bad memory and they are taking advantage of the fact that she is not aware of everything that is going on. I was over to see my mother last night and she had $54.00 in her wallet. When I called her this afternoon she only had $4.00 . I knew she hadn't spent it because I am the only person who takes her out and I did not take her out today because I was working so it was obviously stolen. When I talked to the manager she had the attitude that maybe she went out today and spent it. It made me so mad because I knew that wasn't true. So they called the police and we filed a police report. The manager told the policeman that she hadn't gone to breakfast which wasn't true and that no one had been in her room today. What she didn't tell them was that the workers all have keys and could've gone in anytime that she was at breakfast or lunch. I am just so mad about it right now. It is so awful that someone would just go in your room and steal something from you especially a senior citizen. It is elder abuse. She will not have anymore money in her room but we will never find out who the thief is and it will continue happening to innocent people who think their things are safe but are not. After it happened the first time I have been keeping her money with me, but she took some money out of her account without me knowing because she forgot she wasn't supposed to. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do about this problem?
been looking these for months. she even claims people come in a steal stuff, then when she finds it days or weeks later claims they brought the stuff back!! she mainly has short term memory loss--hate to see when it gets worse
If you really want to know what goes on, put one of those nanny cams in your mom's room. They have ones that can be viewed on your phone. That may give you peace of mind. It gets confusing when part of the time you hear don't disregard what your parent (or child) is telling you, and they are demented, do trust what they say. I am one of those seeing is believing people.
I also wonder if there is a way to set it up so you can pay mom's bill once a week for example.
It got even uglier - we were the only ones nearby and had to get her things like underwear, toiletries, and would buy her little snacks that she liked. She had another friend who would also do similar things. Her family, living across the country conveyed to the director that we were 'taking advantage of her' by getting money for things that they felt like she didn't need ( like underwear?) so her funeral was a very dicey situation. I had to deal with a terribly rude and angry administrator. No one spoke to each other at the funeral. We were caught in the middle.
YOU will have to look after her money, and if she only feels secure with some money in her room, give her just ten dollars. Money is not safe in a nursing home ,and not safe with someone who cannot remember from day to day.
Even if the staff IS stealing, most families and residents are afraid to bring it up for fear of retaliation.
Since then, someone took valuable rings out of the room next to his. The staff acknowledged and called the police and even told me about it so that I had the ability to take any valuables out of his room (there were none except the small amount of money I was ready to lose if it happened). The facility did their investigation and one of their new employees was questionable so they began asking her for specific detail on her visits. She quit. There hasn't been an issue since.
And don't let her have cash or any valuables. Doesn't matter if she's the problem or if there are dishonest or desperate (low-paid) workers, if there's no cash there it won't disappear.
There were some mobile residents who would wander and go through night stands and things setting around. The nurses were always chasing someone down to check their pockets or walker baskets. One gentlemen collected paper cups! It is just a different world these dear ones live in.
I had a patient in a facility who had dementia and she was interested in geneology, had done extensive research on her family before she became ill. Her niece asked my opinion on getting my patient an iPad. I told the niece that I thought it would be stolen.
A month or so goes by and nothing happened to it. I taught her how to use it (sort of) and she enjoyed pecking away at it. One day I come in and it was gone along with the charger. I searched the room. I reported it to the facility and they searched the room. It was gone. I didn't feel like gloating exactly because my patient was very upset but I thought it was careless to bring in a $600 computer into a facility where anyone can waltz into the room and take it. I'm sure it was one of the staff, without a doubt. And we had the iPad hidden too and someone still got to it.
If your mom had large bills and then several smaller bills and it was the larger bills that were taken that would lend credence to the certainty that it was stolen and not misplaced.
When my dad was in the NH he wanted some money on him. He said he'd feel better if he had some money so I gave him a $20 bill. The next day it was gone. I believe he stashed it away somewhere and forgot where he put it and I never gave him more money than he could afford to lose after that.
You've now accused staff of stealing, you're spreading the word, your damaging their reputation, AND YOU DON'T KNOW. You have a number of people on this thread telling you that dementia patients do very strange things. Instead of giving staff the benefit of the doubt and simply making sure the opportunity isn't presented again, you've chosen to go to war.
She flushed it down the toilet...she gave it away...she threw it away...she tucked it behind a couch cushion in the common room to keep it safe...she stuffed it inside a book or magazine...hid it in the newspaper...she put it on her food tray under a plate...orrrr someone might-have could-have maybe stolen it.
You've already said she doesn't need money there. Don't give her any more. Problem solved.
old people do irrational things . my mom accused me of stealing 700 bucks . of course she had stashed it in her rolling walker lid . dementia patients squirrel things ( everything ) away for safekeeping . my moms last year of life was a constant task of finding things shed hidden . no capacity for short term memory . my aunt uses the restroom before we go outside at nh then tells me she meant to use the restroom seconds later .. things get stolen in nh but things get misplaced or given away too .. its a tough call as to which ..
Today gone tomorrow. money can not just disappear overnight unless it is being taken.
Six months later, I moved a straw chest in our family room because we were pulling up the area rug . . . there it was, nestled snug as a bug.
And then he remembered. He put it one place, then thought better of it -- and very last minute moved it under that chest. Someone explained to us that he was in such a rush, hardly thinking about doing it, that it never went from his short-term memory to long-term storage.
If one can do that at 50, imagine what a dementia'd old person can do. I would never ever ever accuse staff of taking something of my mom's unless I saw them do it.
But that's just me.
What generally really happens is "I'm worried that someone will steal my X. So I'd better hide it." "Oh no, X is gone. See? Someone stole it!" Sigh. Some of the hiding places result in permanent loss (the tissue box gets thrown out).
Or the person gives it away and forgets that she did. Or she sets it down on the dining table and the equally demented lady sitting next to her gets up to leave, thinks it is hers, and takes it.
Or, of course, a staff person with a master key could be sneaking into rooms hoping to find one or two residents who actually have cash in their rooms.
I wouldn't put money that the staff person did it.
I know a caregiver daughter who bought THREE replacement glasses for her mom's that were "stolen." Eventually 2 of the missing pairs did show up.
I am sorry that this is happening. I am sorry about all aspects of dementia.