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I am curious why you say your are not a Christian but you love Jesus??? I do believe that ALL we do should be done to the glory of God! just my thoughts...
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I have read all of these comments and I understand now that Ativan and Morphine are what is given to basically hasten death, when it is imminent. The problem I have is that NO ONE, not the Skilled nursing facility workers, or the Hospice worker who came in and changed my mom's meds, TOLD ME that she was so close to death. We increased her morphine to 10mg every hour, to keep her comfortable, but then I left (I had been with her all day and was physically and emotionally exhausted, and I just wanted her to sleep). Had I known she was so close, I would have stayed with her. I am angry and sad and can not forgive myself for leaving her during her last night. I wanted to be with her to make sure she didn't vomit, or choke. I know now that she was close to passing, but at the time I thought she had at least a few more days.
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I am so sorry to all of you for losing your loved ones. I do just want to say that although I believe that morphine seems to be a good way to help people comfortably die, I think it's time that we stop pretending that this is not what is happening. My mom (and I) never knew that the morphine would end her life. More open communication is needed. This is basically assisted suicide, which I am in favor of. I just think that we need to discuss it as a country and be honest about what we are doing. If we could do that, more patients could be informed and less anxious about what will happen when they near end of life, and family members could be better prepared. It's not widely known, but this is common practice. Again, I am not against it, because I believe that people should pass painlessly, but I wish that both my mom and I had known that this was what the nurses and hospice workers planned. They practice this all of the time, but rarely (if ever) communicate that it is what happens.
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When there is terrible pain, it needs relieved.
And sometimes, getting that pain relieved, means the person can relax and let go.
I feel so sad that you experienced this; it is so hard to sit watching someone die, wanting to be with them for each possible moment, to help and comfort them....then not be there when they do go.
Morphine can be seen as 'expediting death' in some circumstances.
But it is primarily used, and authorized to be used for, stopping pain...though, for many, it fails to stop pain...instead, stupefying them into inability to speak to say they are still 'in there', and hurting. When doses of morphine seem to be failing to control pain, there need to be other remedies to help that, be it other drugs, or sometimes alternative measures.
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I am going through the same thing with my husband. A social worker at the hospital told me to read "The Final Stages of Life after googling "Kokua Mau". It is an Hawaian hospice and is simple caring and VERY supportive of the carers...
I found I was doing some things wrong for my husband.... You might too.
Be kind to yourself.
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Last week my father died. 91 yrs young :) He did not want to go. About a week before the Health Center along with hospice would give Dad a bit of morphine via mouth for his pain. Tuesday got a call from the HC to come because they thought he might pass that night. He lasted till Thursday night around 9 pm surrounded by his family Mom and my siblings. He was given a dose of morphine I think every hr on the hr from Wed to early Friday evening when they increased to every 1/2 hr. He fought to stay alive even though Mom prayed for him to pass. It was an ugly death scene. Not peaceful. I held him in my arms as the aids tried to change his bed sheets...don't know if he died in my arms or just before but he was gone. Now my brother blames my sister for having the HC start the morphine treatments. I've been reading online and I think the morphine was for the best. I just wanted to tell you death does not always come peacefully even for 91 yr old's especially when they don't want to go.
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I have a concern about my mom, last week she was still walking and eating, this week started Tuesday 7/6/2017 the in home nurse that visits the home once a week said she thought it would be a good idea to give her morphine to help with her being combative which she suggested to give it twice a day with her other medication for anxiety and restlessness. Since she has been taking this she is sleeping all day and don't want to eat as I said before she was eating and not sleeping all day. Looks like the Hospice Nurse is trying to kill her sooner. Thoughts from someone would be nice. Thank you Anita
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