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It went well. Gave her some sedation. From the time she was discharged at 12:30 till 4 pm when I left she was totally normal, coherent etc. I got her food, went to store, etc. She was awake all afternoon, getting around at her normal level. I called her at 7 pm, and she was barely verbal. Speaking nonsense, not even forming sentences. I guess she took ALL her meds she’d not had during the course of the day. Our chat was 16 mins, and towards the end she made more sense. She said I’d woken her up, but still she was not normal. I debated going back to her house. But honestly, I was not keen to be her safety net for something she did to herself. Remember I hate her smelly dirty house, and I’d already showered after spending all day there. We went yesterday at 1 pm and she was zonked asleep. Slept through me knocking several times, when she sleeps on a day bed in the living room. Slept through several rounds of me patting her and calling her name. I get she has some legit pain issues. I don’t care if she safely takes her meds, but this is dubious. She didn’t remember talking to me, denied knowing any reason she might have been so out of it. And of course she was asleep with the stove burner on. She leaves it on purposely, it’s not a forgetful thing. She thinks she won’t be warm without it. Her central heat works and she has a space heater where she sleeps. I just know the other shoe will drop at some point.

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It might be good to take all her prescriptions to a pharmacist and ask then to check the total dosage and the interactions. Pharmacists are usually undervalued and under-utilised, but they do a serious degree course and have a lot of knowledge. Norco is heavy duty opioid. Tylenol 3 contains 30mg codeine, another opioid, it’s not exactly light weight. Sometimes more scripts get added without the others being discontinued. Even though you say you think that she is not exceeding the total she has been prescribed, it sounds as though the total may have crept up. If ‘drug seeking’ is one of her problems, it might be worth checking to see if she has another stash of the ‘seeking’ drugs she’s actually found. It may be possible.
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Can you send a letter to her doctor, include her DOB, and explain what she is doing? The next time she requests more meds, it will trigger her doctor to reassess. Sending a letter or calling the office as a person of concern does not violate privacy rights.
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1. It does not sound like your mom is safe to be living alone.
The stove should be disables so that she can not leave a burner on. If she left a kitchen towel on it, or the edge of a towel landed on it it could be even more dangerous. (Not even going to ask if it is electric or gas, both dangerous for different reasons)
If she sleeps this deeply if there were a fire she may not be able to 1) hear and respond to an alarm (that I hope she has) 2) contact 911 to report the problem 3) leave the building.
I would be concerned about a space heater as well.
Mom either needs AL, MC, or SNF depending on the level of care needed.
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She just showed up at your house in October? How did she get there?

This is an incredibly dangerous situation. Especially the stove burner on when she already has a space heater? I'd remove the stove knobs. Do you want your house burned down? Are you there 24/7 to supervise her activity?

That shows a ridiculous level of danger. Blowing off her using a stove burner to keep warm? A space heater is bad enough. I hope you have fire extinguishers at home.
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Oedgar23 Dec 31, 2023
She showed up October a year ago. I live about 10 miles away, and she no longer drives outside her smaller town. She paid a former caregiver to bring her. She does not live with me.
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Chronic pain is so depressing. I myself have had back issues for some years. I had injections (they never helped) and 2 surgeries (ablations). They helped, but did not cure the pain.

Once the surgeries were done, my neuro doc didn't want to play pain management doc with me. I had to work with my PCP. He has helped me to get down from 10 mgs Norco to plain old Tylenol #3, which is pretty darn mild compared to Norco. Still, I have to see my PCP every 3 months and never take more pills than necessary. I'm at a stasis--not getting 'better' but also not getting worse.

It's VERY concerning that your mom's taking a very high dose of hydrocodone, leaving the stove on and konking out to the point she can't be wakened.

You state that she's still competent--but take a giant step back and re-think your overall feel of the state she's in.

She might need a tighter control over the amt of pain meds. She might not be as aware as you think she is.

You're right to think when the other shoe drops, it will be bad.

Her pain is hers, everyone has a tolerance to a point for it. Some people can live with incredible pain and some fall to their knees if they have a headache. I'm not going to judge her. Back pain is awful. And those injections? I've known almost no one who has had much relief from them.

If she is amenable to moving to ALF, now would be the time to broach that. Not
'after' she burns the house down.
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Are you in a position to objectively research some alternatives now, and as she progresses slowly or quickly to “…the other shoe will drop…?

For your sake as well as hers, if you can shake loose some time do some research into her finances and alternative provisions for care, and also alternatives for legally providing for her care management, you’ll be prepared with enough information to do for her whatever you’re comfortable with and what will serve her as best as you can.

See what you can find out about what will happen to her if she becomes a state ward, guardianship granted to you or someone else, and/or what becoming a POA (if YOU are willing to take the responsibility on), not because you must plan to do anything, but your options before the decisions are being made FOR you.

If you’ e already done all this CONGRATULATIONS, but the New Year MAY be a good time to update.

You’re a Good Soul. Treat yourself well and give yourself credit. A tough road (I know it first hand, not nearly as troubling as your situation though).
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Oedgar23 Dec 31, 2023
I am now her POA. So far she is still legally competent. She understands full well what she’s doing, only gets disoriented with hospital stays (and over medication). She also used to be a paralegal, so she knows exactly what her rights are. I can’t make her do anything as far as moving to AL until she agrees. I think she sees it as ok in the future. And of course there will need to be a small spend down and Medicaid app. My husband’s family members have been able to self pay and it seems so much easier. Nothing will be easy as far as mother is concerned. Even in the throes of hospital delerium last May, she could still answer the psych questions correctly. They knew she was altered but, given the intermittent nature of it, could not prove it. Mother’s main issues are mental illness and drug seeking.
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That stove burner thing and space heater are a very scary combination to me.
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And what’s puzzling is that she is using them at an appropriate rate. I’ve counted her pills the past few months and she’s not using them too fast. But I think the combo of meds plus her recently saying she takes TWO 10 mg Norco at bedtime is too much all at once
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Zonked out cold with too many pain meds, leaving a stove burner on PURPOSELY along with a space heater.......yep, the other shoe will definitely be dropping at some point in the not too distant future.
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I’d love to see these pain procedures lessen her need for being given any narcotics. I’m not convinced. If this shot worked, she will have ablation
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funkygrandma59 Dec 31, 2023
Oedgar23, how will she/you know if the injections helped at all when it's apparent that she's keeping herself pretty self medicated?
It sounds like you may be in a bit of denial on just how much pain medications your mother is actually taking.
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She is self medicating.
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