My daddy passed away today. My mother has Alzheimer's and she was there when he passed. Later in the day my mom asked if we were going to see him today. I am afraid to take her to my dad's funeral cause I just don't know how she is gonna react. Any suggestions please?
You need to be the judge as to what your mother will be able to tolerate.
What may be easier on everyone is to take your mother to the "calling hours," but not to actual funeral/memorial service.
Taking her to the funeral is a difficult decision. if you decide to do that limit the time she is print. Maybe half an hour in the funeral home than have her taken home.
Try not to remind her of the reality as she will grieve as though she has heard the news for the first time.
I have different feelings than other people in things like this. Again, IMO, don't ever do things just to make yourself feel better or because you think that is what is expected. Always do what is best for the most vulnerable person.
I think either option is alright: bringing your mom to the funeral or not bringing her to the funeral. It would depend on how progressed her Alzheimer's is, if you think she'll be able to sit through a solemn service and understand what's going on, if she still retains some of her social filters. You'll want to consider these things.
If you opt to bring your mom to the funeral it might help to have someone with you like a close friend or a sibling who can whisk mom away if there is any kind of behavioral disturbance from your mom. Consider sitting on the aisle so it will be easy for your mom to be led out of the service with little disruption.
She saw him the morning he died before the coroner came.
A week later she told me that it was OK for him to come home now..she wasn't mad at him any more.
She went to the funeral. Yet, a month later she was distraught ... told me he was selling her stuff! She sat out at the yard sale herself. She picked exactly what was being sold that day...yet later thought HE did that.
She never was able to remember he had died. I never forced that knowledge on her, and never avoided situations where it would be clear to her. Just another part of dementia
My deepest sympathies and condolences on the loss of your beloved daddy. I'm very sorry for your pain and sorrow.
I don't know for sure everyone thinks so differently about these situations. Part of me thinks it might be too traumatic for your mom to go to the funeral given her condition.
I hope others will have more insight.
Sending all my thoughts and prayers.