She tells my brother all the time that I hate her. I have recently, very, lost my husband and my mother tells me it's time I got over it. It's been 3 weeks and I am no way near over it. I have been putting off visiting her because I don't want to listen to her . She hurts me so much. She also is always saying I put her in that awful place, which was the assisted living place she was in, decision. I don't want to visit her but feel guilt when I don't . What should I do. I need no more hurt right now in my life.
Ask the facility to call you ONLY if she is transferred to the hospital.
As for your Mom and her remarks, just curious if she had always been so outspoken saying things without thinking, or is this something new for her? If it is new, sounds like she could be dealing with dementia, and there are times when an elder will speak without a filter.
Personally, I wouldn't visit... but I know it can be a guilt trip. You don't need that negativity at this point in time.