He has been banned from the transit bus because they have a video of her touching my dad on 2 separate occasions and he is suspended from the senior center for inappropriate sexual behavior with her. He doesn't remember any of this. He is so sad. He feels everyone is against him and this woman is trying to isolate him from his family. Dad's dementia is rapidly getting worse because of the turmoil with this woman but we cannot get her to stay away. When she isn't there he says he doesn't know her and doesn't want her around but she is telling everyone they are getting married. My dad's mind is a mess. He is a pillar of the community and in this county. What do I do?
The most obvious course of action is to make an appointment with the director of the care home and take a lawyer with you to that meeting. It would not be medically acceptable or fair on your dad to be moved, so the female patient must be removed or her family bear the consequences. I don't think you have been tough enough in his defence.
My uncle simply agreed with police that he wanted 'trespass' against house cleaner who was stealing from him, and it was done. House cleaner was subsequently arrested twice for making contact with him. Next step can be 'harassment' claim - do some paperwork and meet with judge - takes about 1-2 hours I'm told in total. No attorney needed in AZ. I would never have guessed that taking these steps would be so simple.
Perhaps similar actions are available in other states.
I hope you have alternative senior center to choose for assistance as well.
I would never have said to my husband, "You want to go to the fair? There is a bus that goes directly there. Why don't you take that?" But he did ride to the fair on a bus with me.
How about your husband? Would he be able to ride a bus with supervision at both ends?
The turmoil with this woman may be making him anxious or angry. Dementia advances at its own rate, and I doubt this turmoil is having an impact on this. Symptoms may be intensified under this stress.
Is there another senior center he could attend? Have you considered an Adult Day Health Program (adult daycare)? You can customize the days and hours he attends. They are used to coping with inappropriate behavior, and if this woman is not there, Dad's behavior might not get inappropriate. They pick up and return participants, provide a hot lunch, and breakfast items for the early arrivals. There are activities geared to people with some impairments. It might be worth exploring.
Do what you can to keep him away from that woman.