My dad has mild dementia and I manage his medication. He has run away from home a couple of times over the past 10 years. I was tipped off that he is planning another trip. He won't go shopping, fishing, sightseeing etc. because he claims that he is in too much pain. Yet he is planning a 700 mile journey.
Do I have any pre-emptive options? The stress of finding him gone and issuing a silver alert is too stressful on our family.
At the onset, as a care manager, the very first medical professional would be either the aging loved one's own PCP or preferably a board-certified geriatric-psychiatrist who can assist me with helping the caregiver get conservatorship if they do not already have POA.
If the caregiver already has a healthcare proxy or POA, then it is a matter of having the physician deem the loved one to be decisional or not; in other words, is the aging loved one with known memory impairment or cognitive decline able to make appropriate or good health care decisions.
It is best for a caregiver to first have written evidence of an aging loved one's mental capacity before making any decision.
And it is a good idea to share the accountability of making tough elder care decisions with the eldercare professionals who do so on a daily basis and are knowledgeable and wil help on a continuum.
I also lead a caregiver support group where I coach caregivers on these very issues and STRONGLY would recommend that caregivers caring for those with dementia of any kind or at any stage be involved in a local caregivers support group. Go to https://alz.org and find a local caregiver support nearby. During the pandemic, our groups are meeting by Zoom, or most are!
This site has regular discussions about the ethics of keeping people alive when their quality of life has gone. The supervision, the medical treatments etc keep them alive when they are ready for the end. If your father really wants to do something dangerous, and risk the consequences, is it your responsibility to stop him? Is it in the best interests of both of you? Is an alternative to notify the proper authorities and then just wait to see what happens? Just a thought….
Elderly man missing for 12 days after leaving for car show. 95 yr old embarked on a road trip to the NSW south coast in his 1967 Vanden Plas sedan. He was found down an enbankment off a small road in thick forest, 60kms from the highway. Appears he took the wrong turn out of the last main town. Went doing what he loved. Driving his vintage car.
Lastly, have a heart to heart with him and tell him how much he means to you and how worried you would be if he left. Is there anyone in your family that would be willing to make this journey with him? It may be invaluable time spent together that you won't regret.
Best of luck to you.