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I know, my grandmother is fairly young, and I‘m only 13 years old, but I have been concerned for her health since last year when her mother died. Lately, she has been whistling all the time, and I have misophonia so this greatly irritates me, but I just took it as a hobby of hers for a while. Also, she has been struggling to comprehend what I ask of her if it consists of more than one part, which at times can be frustrating and makes me have to reform my sentences in a way that makes sense to her. She forgets things fairly often and doesn‘t have any sympathy for anything going on in my life, which she used to have. She gaslights me as well, but she has been doing this since I was younger and I am used to it; she is probably bipolar. Not sure if these are any giveaways of dementia or any other underlying health conditions, but I would appreciate any answers, even if I am only a teenager!


-Frey, a concerned grandchild

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Impossible you are 13. No 13 year-old in the world, speaks and writes that way. It's impossible.

Anyway, any concerns you have, speak to an adult family member. Let's imagine OP, you're a child (younger than 18), then anyway, you need to speak to an adult family member about your concerns. You said they might brush off your concerns. You can also speak to an adult at school.

No one on the forum can help a child (let's imagine you're a child). It would be irresponsible of us forum members. You must talk face to face to an adult.
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You sound extremely mature for your age.

I am curious. How did you stumble upon the AgingCare forum?

Why are you spending one night a week at your grandmother’s house?

Have you discussed your concerns with your parents? If so, what have they told you?

Best wishes to you and your family.
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ThatArtistFrey Jun 2023
I was searching the Internet to see if anyone else was experiencing the same things I was and found the forum. I‘ve been staying over one night a week since I was younger and I enjoy the time I spend with my grandparents. As far as talking to my parents, I have not, but they would most likely say it‘s not my place to be worried about these things and would get mad at me for assuming anything. Thank you for the wishes!
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It could be dementia grandma is suffering from, or any number of other things, it's impossible to say really. We'd only be guessing. But I will say that I also suffer from misophonia so certain noises and sounds are absolutely horrendous for me to listen to. My uncle used to croak out this half-whistle type sound thru his pursed lips while he drove the car......🙄......which drove ME round the bend, to be honest. This was decades ago and I STILL remember it distinctly! You have my sympathy bc such an issue is no joking matter.

Talk to your parents about your concerns over grandma and see if they'll get her a doctors appointment.

Best of luck to you!
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You could find a quiet time & mention your specific concerns with your Grandfather. He may or may not see the same issues.

I found my own Mother's behaviour somewhat difficult & challenging but always felt it was unfair to label without a formal diagnosis (as I am not trained to diagnose). There can still be much stigma.

Maybe try to find solutions for the specific problems. Headphones? Tell her directly you would like to be alone to read/study/relax. Does the bathroom door lock?
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My instinct is telling me that IF this post is for real, that you perhaps are older than 13 years of age, as I don't know of any 13 year old's that have ever even heard of "gaslighting" let alone know what it means.
The fact that your grandmother whistles all the time, could just mean that she's happy. I hum, sing and or whistle pretty much all day, and I do not have dementia, but am a happy person.
And perhaps she is having hearing issues(which is very common as we age) thus why she's not understanding what you're saying sometimes.
And then of course it is very normal for older folks to occasionally forget things as well.
So honestly nothing you're describing points to her having dementia.
If you're that concerned about her and her health, perhaps it's best to talk to your grandfather about it(rather than strangers online)as I'm sure he is more than aware if there is something going on with his wife.
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Honestly, grief reactions and also anxiety can mimic dementia. So you CAN'T know.

I cannot know what the circumstances are in your life. You say you are a teenager. Is your grandmother raising you, or are your parents in the picture?

How big is the house? Is there some way to get away from the whistling? Have you discussed the new habit of whistling with your grandmother? Have you earplugs? Headphones?

Your best way forward now is getting as good a foundation in education as you can so that you can move on and move out soon with your own life. I sure wish you good luck.

Should you have real concerns at some point and are alone in this a call to APS may be necessary.
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ThatArtistFrey Jun 2023
My grandmother doesn‘t raise me, but I spend one night with my grandparents every night at their house. The house isn‘t very big, I‘m not quite sure of the exact size, but there aren‘t a lot of places I can go where she won‘t follow me, not even the bathroom. Grief and anxiety could definitely be influencing her behavior and making me think of dementia, but that‘s just it. I don‘t know. Thank you so much for the advice!
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