My grandmother wants to move to a better facility. She is of sound mind, has no memory loss diagnoses and is still in control of all her faculties. She knows the day, date and year. She feels she is being mistreated where she is. She wants to move to a different facility where she will hopefully be better cared for and treated better. This facility she is in now has been under investigation for harming their patients and has very low inspection reports. Honestly, it's the worst in the area. Can her POA stop her from choosing a different nursing home and moving to the facility of her choice?
If she is on Medicaid in LTC she will need to pay extra for a private room anywhere she goes. Surprised she can afford the extra $600 because she is not suppose to have any money if on Medicaid. Her Social Security check needs to go toward her care. A small amount its kept out for Personal Needs. Most States have a $2000 asset cap.
Is her POA paying the $600 out of pocket? If so then grandma should be happy that the POA is paying for her to have a single room.
If she is in an Assisted living, did she get Medicaid after paying privately at least for 2 years? If so, she cannot leave that AL and continue to get Medicaid for a new AL. The deal is for the AL she paid privately for. So that would be something to ask her case worker. If not, her option is LTC with a roommate. $600 extra seems to not be much for a private room.
In the instance above, if POA is handling Gma's money then she knows how much she has to work with. Like I said $600 xtra does not seem much. Grandma may want to move but may not be able to afford to and keep a private room. Grandma might now realize how it all works and how much is involved moving. I don't think u do either and the POA should not discuss Grandma' finances with you. But POA needs to discuss what a move means to Grandma. May not be greener on the other side.
If your mother was only close to one of her children, then why did she choose to move away from that child?
If grandmother is in full possession of her mental faculties, then why and how did aunt move her to a nursing home?
OP, what did you give up to move to OK? Do you work? Where do you live? I hope you aren't sacrificing your life there to sit with your grandmother in the NH every day?
I have been disabled this year is 20 years so no i do not work. I moved me and my rv up here and go see grandma as much as i can. Which is like 3-4 times a week til my truck broke down now I can only go when I find someone to take me. I live 20 miles from her. she does have a white board that is how i communicate with her.
If she is of sound mind she can do what she wishes.
Side note if the POA has jumped the gun and taken control already I would probably change POA, I would at least have my attorney send a letter informing the over eager POA to back off.
If she’s really of sound mind, she can FREELY leave. She doesn’t need POA’s approval. And you don’t need POA’s approval.
You can help get her out. Find another facility, if you want to help. Since she’s of sound mind, she has full access to her own money. If you want, help her set up her money so she pays a new facility.
If she has dementia (but it’s only mild), she’ll still be considered mentally competent. You can help her revoke the old POA, and make you POA, so you can help more easily, also in the future.
If the better facilities are reluctant to accept new residents that can’t private pay for a while, it might explain the claim that “she can not leave this place or she will lose the place to live”
Many issues relate to your Grandmother's hearing impairement.
Moving location will not fix or change the issue of non-vsiiting family or hearing.
But much can be done.
Has your Grandmother complained about her food choices?
If so, I would ask to assist her to pre-complete her menus for the week when you visit. Kitchen staff should habe the week's menu. Many places also have a visual menu.
Bringing Grandmother a small whiteboard, pen & eraser may help her communicate with staff & residents. Does she lip read well? Are staff still wearing face masks? (That can be hard).
I would locate a local Hearing Society Service & call up for their advice.
Maybe they have tips & tools that may help her? (Just as the Vision Society has talking clocks & magnifying glasses etc).
I certainly inderstand wanting the best care for your much loved Grandmother!
Unless you can work together with the POA your hands may be tied in moving - the POA may see you as complaining & interfering, not part of solutions..?
But by listening to Grandmother, finding out what is important to her, seeing what can be done to improve those things - you will become her best Advocate.
This will help her.
It will make you feel useful.
Maybe even change your dynamic with thr POA. Show you are not enemies, but on the same team.
Team G'ma ❤️
The existing POA can likewise resign and return all responsibilities to a competent principal.
So if the existing arrangement has been handling your grandmother’s affairs well, she may want to consider how best to get the existing POA to accept any change as a good idea before one of them finds it necessary to “fire” the other.
I can only speculate as to why changing facilities would be problematic. Is your grandmother already on Medicaid LTC and do both facilities easily accept Medicaid?
Serving as POA can be a lot of work and is too often unappreciated by a parent who would prefer to be independent, whether or not that is actually possible.
Does she have specific examples?
Issues you can take to management to address?
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Eg Is it lack of personal care assistance? Or lack of activities? Rude staff? Substandard food?
"my aunt has put grandma in a nursing home going on 3 years ago".
People don't usually move into nursing homes if they are of sound mind, capable body & still independant. What was your understanding of why Grandma moved in?
If there is a nicer place she has heard of & can afford, could she independantly arrange a tour? If not, if she needs help to do that then it reasonable her POA is involved.
So grandmother needs to inform her POA what you told us she feels, and that she would like to leave her current place and try another one. The POA can help your grandmother visit and investigate other places.
A POA is OBLIGATED under the law to follow the instructions of the Principal who assigned them as POA. It is only when a Principal becomes mentally incapacitated that he/she can no longer make his/her own decisions.
That said, no they cannot.