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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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You said he doesn't believe doctor told him not to drive. How about a letter from doctor to patient (besides the notification to DMV) that you can pull out and show him each time he wants to drive?
My family went through this same thing with my Pop. My Mom donated the car when he was asleep. It was hard for Pop at first, but he eventually accepted it. Having a letter from the doctor, DMV, or local police to show him is a good idea. I would try disconnecting the battery or something else in the car so that it will not start.
Have someone come at night when everyone is asleep and take the car. Visit the police ahead of time and let them know that he has dementia and will not give up the car keys, so you're having someone remove the car. This way they know what they're dealing with when the calls about the car being stolen start up. You have my sympathy because I know life is going to get hard for you for a while when the car is gone. Let this be a comfort to you. You're saving lives by taking the car away.
It is very sad. My Dad wouldn’t listen to a family member so we got a neighbor to talk to him and say “How would you feel if you killed a child.” That was what my Dad said when teaching us to drive and drive carefully. Meanwhile my Dad spent his remaining years looking out the window longingly at his car. Sad.
My dad had to have hip surgery and the Anesthesia made his Dementia progress rapid. While he was recovering I went through the whole house and took every car key and every spare that I could think of and put them all in a lock box that only I had the key too. When he would ask I would tell him that it was in the shop or that I had the keys I had to be strong I even tried reminding him that it’s not just him he could hurt on the road it could be his grandchildren, son, daughter or even a stranger. I tried the truth at first but he wasn’t grasping it And it’s still constant reminder that I have the keys. maybe get a note in the doctors handwriting saying he cannot drive at this time with her signature on a letterhead. Good luck
If his car has a key fob that makes a start-stop button work, you could remove the battery. All batteries now arrive on a slow boat from China, and he may never be able to get a replacement. Commiserate and give thanks for the current supply crisis.
This is tough. It is difficult to give up independence. Everything in the USA is geared for driving. Every other ad on TV is for a car. Lock up the keys. If he has a car that is "his" remove it and it is "in the shop" While he is with you and you drive keep your keys so that he can not get them. Lock them up if you have to. I told my Husband that the medicine he was on said on the bottle that he could not drive while taking the medicine. When he would ask about the car I would tell him not until he was done with the medication. Eventually he stopped asking.
Side note and totally off subject but... You say you are not legally his wife and you have limited power. PLEASE make sure that you are protected and that you can help make decisions and that you are taken care of particularly if you two have been together for a long time.
Someone with cognitive or memory impairment should never use a ride service by themselves. It is unethical and dangerous. Unethical for the ride service to become responsible for the wellbeing of an impaired person's welfare. Dangerous even for people who are not compromised. This is NEVER a solution for someone with cognitive/memory impairment unless continuously managed by their PoA before, during and at drop-off/pick-up, or unless they are accompanied by a known and trusted travel companion. And they should only be going to well-known and trusted destinations, like the home of a family, friend, church, etc. -- never into public (like to a store or mall).
Who is the POA or guardian now? That person needs to present copy of letter to DMV, needs to visit the DMV, needs to get the car removed from the property. Haulers don't need keys. Short of that, a bit of sugar or water in the gas tank may work?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Then go on a vacation somewhere where you must rely on mass transit or some other mode of transportation and use it.
NY? Williamsburg (walking). SF (cable cars). Taxi, Uber, carriage, water taxi, donkey… take as many as you can. Don’t rent a car.
Stay in a place where things are close and easy (such as Charleston, SC)
Show him there is life after a drivers license. This is his concern.
Visit the police ahead of time and let them know that he has dementia and will not give up the car keys, so you're having someone remove the car. This way they know what they're dealing with when the calls about the car being stolen start up.
You have my sympathy because I know life is going to get hard for you for a while when the car is gone.
Let this be a comfort to you. You're saving lives by taking the car away.
Good luck
Lock up the keys.
If he has a car that is "his" remove it and it is "in the shop"
While he is with you and you drive keep your keys so that he can not get them. Lock them up if you have to.
I told my Husband that the medicine he was on said on the bottle that he could not drive while taking the medicine. When he would ask about the car I would tell him not until he was done with the medication.
Eventually he stopped asking.
Side note and totally off subject but...
You say you are not legally his wife and you have limited power.
PLEASE make sure that you are protected and that you can help make decisions and that you are taken care of particularly if you two have been together for a long time.
GoGo - Use Lyft & Uber Without A Smartphone - Bing video
www.gogograndparent.com
1-855-464-6872
That person needs to present copy of letter to DMV, needs to visit the DMV, needs to get the car removed from the property. Haulers don't need keys.
Short of that, a bit of sugar or water in the gas tank may work?