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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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We all like to think that professionals, particularly those in the medical field, engage their brains before they open their mouths. Unfortunately, that's not always the case...
My dad died when I was 15. He had a non-malignant brain tumor that started to bleed. It started when he was home - he complained about having a headache, and went to lie down for a little while. When my mom tried to wake him, she couldn't. He was in a coma. He was transported to the hospital. Once there, one of the internists in the hospital (not my dad's neurologist) upon examining my father asked my mother "What did you do to him!?" She dealt with that guilt for a long, long time even though my dad's neurologist assured her that there would have been nothing anyone could have done to save him.
What that aide said to you was totally reprehensible! Unprofessional doesn't even begin to describe it! I'm sure your LO is not the first person in this facility who wants to go home, and I'm sure he won't be the last.
If I were you, if this aide makes a comment like that again, tell her that. Ask her "Why, is my dad the first person here that you've cared for who wants to go home? Maybe if you can't handle comments like that YOU should find a different line of work."
You don't owe this woman any explanation as to your decision to place you LO, which I'm sure was one of the more difficult decisions you have ever had to make! It's your responsibility to make sure he's safe and cared for, and you have done so. You are grieving, which is understandable, but rest assured you have done nothing about which to feel guilty.
We had problems with the aides saying "You're right, you don't need memory care." They were just doing it so he would calm down and cooperate with whatever task they were trying to do.
It's just a matter of education. The administrator should have the aide attend (or re-attend) some workshops on dementia and better ways to interact with the patients.
Tell the administrator. The aide just needs better information. If he or she really thinks every elder belongs at home, maybe a job as a home care aide would be more appropriate for them.
Yes, I'm wondering what the aide is saying to your dad. Is the aide encouraging your dad's thought process? That's only hurtful to him and to you. Possible triangulation. Not good. Either this aide needs more training or needs a different line of work.
Yes, the aide was out of line. She does not know all the circumstances that went into making your decision, and she should not comment without your asking for her input. He may want to come home, but the truth is the aide is not helping the situation one bit by chiming in. Instead, the aide is making it even more difficult.
Be kind and reasonable, but also remember that if the aide is saying this to you, one must wonder what is being said to others! Please do report her comment - either so the aide is reprimanded or let go - neither of which would be your fault.
My goodness............care giving 101 = knowing that a dementia resident is CONSTANTLY going to be talking about 'going home', which can mean a wide variety of things, and should be handled professionally, not by calling the offspring to advise taking them home!!! The ED/administrator DEFINITELY needs to know about this situation so the CG can be trained properly to deal with his/her charges moving forward. They need to at least watch some Teepa Snow videos and take some online courses which most ALFs provide to their employees as a REQUIREMENT for working there. Basic training in dementia is a necessity if a resident is to get the proper treatment. Express YOUR frustration and displeasure of the handling of this situation; it was extremely unprofessional and you should NEVER have received such a call.
If you've been on this site for longer than a month you probably know that the "home" he referred to may not even be the one he spent the last 50 years in, but the one he grew up in. A lot of us have heard our parents ask to go home while they were home. Someone working in memory care really should understand that, and understand that memory care is what you do when you can't keep your eyes on them and explain that they are home constantly and keep them safe.
The aide is hired to care for her clients and not to give her opinion. Please address this with management and give them name of aide, day and time conversation occurred. If the aide does this to you, he/she probably does this to other family members.
I am glad to hear that you sent an email to the administrator about the situation and that she said the issue would be addressed.
Sometimes inexperienced (or young) health care workers become too emotionally involved in their residents' lives and they don't think about the consequences of their comments or their actions.
Please do not feel guilty that you had to place your LO in a facility. You did what was/is best for him. {{{HUGS}}}
I’d find out the aide’s motive in telling you this. There could be many reasons and I’d want to know what they were. Would it mean one less person to care for? Was it a warning that the care there isn’t what it should be? Try to find out why he/she said this, and the you’ll know if you need to seek help and clarification higher up
I believe she said it because like many residents they’re fixated on”going home”and my LO is to a great extent. My doctors told me that I kept him home longer than I should have.
Anyone living in a facility, with or without dementia, wants to go home. My question is this - if they have dementia, are YOU willing and able to put up with all of the problems, needs and bad behaviors of these people. Do you realize how much YOUR life will be impacted? Don't do it. They are where they belong if they have dementia. Think of your own life and needs first if they are in a safe place. Do NOT take them home.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My dad died when I was 15. He had a non-malignant brain tumor that started to bleed. It started when he was home - he complained about having a headache, and went to lie down for a little while. When my mom tried to wake him, she couldn't. He was in a coma. He was transported to the hospital. Once there, one of the internists in the hospital (not my dad's neurologist) upon examining my father asked my mother "What did you do to him!?" She dealt with that guilt for a long, long time even though my dad's neurologist assured her that there would have been nothing anyone could have done to save him.
What that aide said to you was totally reprehensible! Unprofessional doesn't even begin to describe it! I'm sure your LO is not the first person in this facility who wants to go home, and I'm sure he won't be the last.
If I were you, if this aide makes a comment like that again, tell her that. Ask her "Why, is my dad the first person here that you've cared for who wants to go home? Maybe if you can't handle comments like that YOU should find a different line of work."
You don't owe this woman any explanation as to your decision to place you LO, which I'm sure was one of the more difficult decisions you have ever had to make! It's your responsibility to make sure he's safe and cared for, and you have done so. You are grieving, which is understandable, but rest assured you have done nothing about which to feel guilty.
(((hugs)))
We had problems with the aides saying "You're right, you don't need memory care." They were just doing it so he would calm down and cooperate with whatever task they were trying to do.
It's just a matter of education. The administrator should have the aide attend (or re-attend) some workshops on dementia and better ways to interact with the patients.
Tell the administrator. The aide just needs better information. If he or she really thinks every elder belongs at home, maybe a job as a home care aide would be more appropriate for them.
Either this aide needs more training or needs a different line of work.
Be kind and reasonable, but also remember that if the aide is saying this to you, one must wonder what is being said to others! Please do report her comment - either so the aide is reprimanded or let go - neither of which would be your fault.
Best of luck!
Sometimes inexperienced (or young) health care workers become too emotionally involved in their residents' lives and they don't think about the consequences of their comments or their actions.
Please do not feel guilty that you had to place your LO in a facility. You did what was/is best for him. {{{HUGS}}}
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