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I try to get her interested in other things. She can't drive, so everything is catalogs. I tried throwing them out, but the mail comes while I'm at work. She gets hundreds of them. I'm struggling to pay for her very expensive meds, incontinence supplies, and all of our expenses. I've even had to clean out my savings and starting on my 401K. I beg her to stop but she says it's between me and my 2 brothers to figure it out " after all, I paid everything for you when you were kids."

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not sure if your mailbox is curbside or on house… see if you can replace it with a locking mailbox. The mail carrier can place mail in it, but it can’t be removed without the key - which your mom does not have.
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Place a series of post office mail / vacation holds on ALL mail for your address. Pick it up after 2 weeks and keep hers from her while you cancel subscriptions, report cards lost/stolen. The postal hold is released once you pick it up so place another 2 week hold on ALL mail and repeat. This may take some time because there is a few weeks delay for the cancellations to occur. Contact the phone company and request a block on outgoing toll free calls.
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My mother’s insurance (United Heath Medicare Advantage) provides free medical supplies thru a third party vendor, for almost 10 years. She gets points to use by year end for everything from vitamins, pain meds, incontinence supplies, wipes, band aids, toileting chairs, shower chairs, lotions, antiobiotic ointments, reusable incontinence pads, etc, Contact your mothers health insurance company.
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It sounds like she is either incredibly immature and unrealistic about money and/or mentally ill.

What you need to realize is that YOU need to stop bleeding money.

Say "no".

She'll get mad.

So what?

She threatens to leave? That's fine.
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This isn’t new behavior for her either. She was like this her whole life. It gave my dad ulcers and, I believe, the stomach cancer that took him. They always fought about money. I remember my dad holding his head in his hands and was so upset. He even took on a side job in his 60’s. I didn’t have any idea how bad it really was until I lost my dad and she came to live with me. No dementia. She is a sharp 80-year old. She gets so mad when I try to talk about her spending and debt.
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Llamalover47 Oct 2021
Happigirl: Thank you for your update.
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Cut up all of her credit cards except one …& keep that one with you to pay for all supplies, meds & anything she needs..for her care. You can call her credit card companies to cancel them. Problem solved. Don’t use 401K because you’ll have to pay penalty. I hope you have power of attorney and health proxy…Hugs 🤗
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You don't mention that she has any dementia, so have an important talk with your mom. Have her add all her credit card balances so that she is aware of her financial state. Give her notice that you will no longer support her financially. You need to add to your 401K, not take from it as you are also penalized. You mom is responsible financially for herself & she needs to be accountable for her frivolous spending habits. If you want to assist her that's your choice. If she needs to apply for Medicaid, help her. Take her to a professional to advise her how to repay her debt. Parents are responsible legally to provide for their child, make sure they get educated & are able to care for themselves. Adult children are not legally responsible to provide for their parents. Hopefully she will realize that her spending habits are out of control, stop buying, send back what she can & start paying back her debts.
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Immediately write to every single catalog company and tell them to stop sending catalogs at once. Also, see if the post office can work something out where mail is delivered to a postal box (don't tell her) - that way you can intercept the mail. Get a Power of Attorney (see an eldercare attorney) so you can control some of the things. And as to YOU spending YOUR money on her needs, STOP AT ONCE. If she runs out, simply say there is no money - she spent it. Let her be without supplies, etc. DO NOT PAY FOR THIS. Also contact Social Services and Office on Aging to see what other options you have. Do NOT be her caretaker until this stops. See if she can be placed or have a caretaker. When they do not cooperate, that is the breaking point and you walk away and don't look back.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
There's no mention of dementia or cognitive issues, so a POA won't be of any use. Also:
"Get a Power of Attorney (see an eldercare attorney) so you can control some of the things."
You don't "GET" a POA, the person MUST appoint you AND must be capable of signing legal documents AND is doing it of her free will.

"If she runs out, simply say there is no money - she spent it. Let her be without supplies, etc."
This is BAD advice, for several reasons:
1) WE don't know what medications she is on - they could be life-saving, aka she could die without them
2) No briefs, she could end up urinating on OP's thing, since she lives in OP's house.

"See if she can be placed or have a caretaker."
There is NO legal way to "place" someone, EVEN those with dementia. Unless she would go agreeable, this is NOT an option.
Caretaker? To do what? A caretaker would have ZERO control over what mom spends her money on and would NOT be able to force her to stop, same reason as above - it isn't legal and would likely just make the situation impossible.

"...walk away and don't look back."

I am SO thankful you are not my relative or POA. Heartless. This is still her mother, whether she has no impulse control or not.
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I ordered some clothing from a catalog and they sent my information to other clothing mail order companies. Suddenly I got dozens of catalogs. I called the customer service department and got them to stop sending me the catalogs. You might want to start this. If you get the mail you can always hide the catalogs or throw them away. You could distract her with something, go get the mail and then on the sly chuck the catalogs. My mom does the same thing and recently asked me if I wanted her to order 25 pounds of pot stickers, because I made the mistake of saying out loud "I like pot stickers".
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
Sadly this sharing of information has been around a long long time... They don't just "send" your information, they sell mailing lists!

One time on vacation, long before the internet, we were in a shop and the ex wrote his name in their customer book, but he added III (as in the Third, which he was not.) Sure enough, not long after we received this kind of stuff from other places addressed to Mr. Joe Schmo III. So, we knew the "source."

Now data mining is BIG business! Some places collect/pay for these lists, but plenty can be found online too. I've received mail here address to the ex, who NEVER lived in this place (I've only been here 7 years), divorced over 35 years at the point, and he was killed in an accident 6-7 years ago! I've also received some in my son's name, and he has never lived here either.

Some of the online sites that have your information WILL show others from past and present relationships. One showed my son's ex, who also never lived here. They split up over 10 years ago. Look up yourself, see who they list as relatives, associates and known to you!
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Nope, this is wrong. Tell Mom that you are out of money for her. Send your mail and hers to a PO box temporarily. IF you have POA, call all credit companies that she owes and stop all available credit. Freeze the accounts, give bills to Mom. Cut up credit cards, except for one or two to pay for her prescriptions and expenses. Anytime you go to pick these things up, use her credit card. Stop enabling her. The longer you let this go on, the more you will resent her and it will ruin the relationship.
If you are living in her home, move out. It's easier to not have to take care of everything. If she lives with you, maybe it's time she is moved into a home or let a brother take her in, if they want to provide for her.
We do owe our parents for all they've done for us. However, care does not involve frivilous items. No more shelling out the money, unless you want to do this for your Mom. I help my Mom and I've told her that many of her supplements and hair products have to be cut down because she can't afford them.
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"Cleaned out your savings and starting on your 401K" so she can order from catalogs???!!! Stop letting your mother victimize and intimidate you. You must take control and put your foot down hard NOW. You are enabling her. Grab those cards, destroy or lock them up! Take one of them and use THAT card for all her supplies and meds. Call these companies and request to be taken off the mailing list. Make a plan for how you want to divide up the house expenses and then get your brothers to join you for a pow wow with your mother without delay.
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Mom's bills are hers. If she doesn’t pay them then the companies will have to take her to collections if they want paid. You are not responsible for her debt just because she lives with you unless you are her guardian or co-signer on the credit accounts. Please don’t endanger your own retirement to cover her debt.

Call each catalog company and tell them to take you off their mailing list.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
"You are not responsible for her debt just because she lives with you unless you are her guardian..."

To clarify this, a guardian would be responsible for MANAGING her finances and using HER funds to pay bills and debts, if and when there's enough. Being guardian would NEVER make anyone responsible for another person's debt. Same for POA. There are court appointed guardians who are not family. I seriously doubt any of them would sign up for this job if they had to assume another person's debts and bills! Same for POA - we can appoint someone other than family for this duty, generally it would be an attorney or fiduciary, but the point is we MANAGE for the person, we don't assume their debts.

Being co-signer on anything WILL result in having to pay or deal with it somehow, as you would have accepted the responsibility, perhaps without realizing it, but you will have to deal with it if you signed!
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Happigirl: Imho, YOU should not be using your own financials on your mother's requirements. Opt out of receiving the catalogs.
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Tons of catalog companies 'Approve!' you for credit; you might get her listed on the 'Opt Out' for junk mail lists, which is really what these catalog companies are. And believe it or not, not paying some of these bills is sometimes OK...yes, it would 'ding' her credit for awhile but if she's running up the bills it's on her and maybe a non-issue: consult a banker about this, they actually recommended this a friend of mine when her world turned upside down. Unsecured debt is written off by these companies. And I agree to reroute your mail; get a PO box and end the flow of these unsolicited credit offers; it's 'fun' to flip thru a catalog and 'shop' but clearly gets a person way in debt fast. I think the companies prey on the 'consumer'...my own mother had closets of stuff she ordered from QVC before she died; clearly it was a way for her to still feel she could 'go shopping' even tho most of the stuff was never opened nor used/enjoyed.

As for you mom trying to guilt you that she footed YOUR bills, welp, that's parenthood, not your job. Put a stop to the shopping (hoarding?) and urge her to save her SS and even chip in for her own expenses; otherwise you're her ATM.
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Stop begging her to stop, it's clearly pointless. She is being VERY irresponsible and selfish, and the garbage about paying for you as kids is TOTAL BS. I would tell her so myself! Any time she tries to say it again, cut her off and say BS!!!

Others have given advice about seeking help paying for her meds and briefs. My mother had sufficient income and assets (she had dementia, so I took over all finances - she did buy stuff before that, but not a lot, however it might have gotten worse!), so it wasn't an issue and I don't have experience with that.

TAKE ACTION:

1) sign up for a PO box and have your mail forwarded to it. this has to be less expensive than what you're paying now
2) I would take the mailbox down as well, because things can slip through - they will hold it for a bit at the USPS office for you to pickup.
3) apply to be Rep Payee at the local SS office
4) note that forwarding is only good for 1 year, so change addresses if this might take longer. Do NOT update the catalogs, etc.
5) ASAP stop using your funds to pay for her meds and briefs. Use her SS funds.
6) note that federal mail won't be forwarded, so get cracking on the Rep Payee, so you can use the PO box. It will put you in charge of Medicare as well.

Having all mail directed to the PO box will eliminate her getting new catalogs. Throw out all the others in the house!!! Contacting them, you may be able to stop them, at least some (others have provided methods to do that. Try those.)

Are these "lines of credit" just with the catalog companies? If so, then just make those minimum payments. If she has any credit cards, try to find them and "misplace" them. If at all possible, create online accounts and freeze them. Since you are providing everything, she doesn't need them.

Since there's no mention of cognitive issues, POAs aren't really going to help, however once you are approved to be Rep Payee, she won't have access to her SS income. NONE. Only you can access the special account that has to be set up (first payment after approval comes as a check, then you can contact the SS office with the new account info and have it deposited.)

You are NOT responsible for her debts. Not now, not after she passes. For her current debts, make the minimum payments from HER SS, just to keep them "satisfied." If she passes and still owes them, too bad, so sad for them. YOU don't pay for it. If there's left over each month, you *could* apply a bit more to these debts, focusing on the high interest rate ones, or smaller ones that you can get rid of sooner, then apply that minimum to help pay down the others. I wouldn't use a lot to pay them. Minimum will chip away at it, but not likely get rid of it. NOT a concern at this point.

I wouldn't focus on having her pay rent or for care, just for the med and briefs. I'd consider taking a little each month to pay back what you've wasted on her already, and maybe some for food, but keep it low. You'll have to report yearly to SS on how you used her funds for her (can be done online through your SS account) and if she ever needs Medicaid, large payments would be suspect. I'm sure you could prove it was legit, but why go there? Just keep good records on how you spend her SS funds.

"I've even had to clean out my savings and starting on my 401K."

This is NOT good. At your age, it is time to maximize what you can sock away for your own future. You should not be p*ssing it away on her stupidity.

"...she says it's between me and my 2 brothers to figure it out..."

Okay then, figure it out by implementing these changes. She won't like it, but TOO bad! YOU don't like what she's doing, and that is having a huge impact on you. The impact of you making these changes and taking charge will only take away her ability to waste money on crap. Get her a library card and let her read books, or newspapers. She's not interested? Fine, sit there and watch TV.

TAKE CHARGE!!!
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I was sure there was a way to unsubscribe from unwanted catalogs, so I googled it and found "Create an account at dmachoice.org This is the Direct Marketing Association's consumer website. It allows you to unsubscribe from all catalogs, or to select just the catalogs that you'd like to unsubscribe from."

Good luck!
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I would see an attorney who specializes in elder care ASAP. You should not be responsible for your mother's bills- but this is where seeing an attorney can help.. You might also call your local Department of aging. What are your brothers doing in this- Do they know what is going on? You don't mention your mom's age - Does she have health issues? Do you or anyone else have POA? Your first obligation is to take care of yourself. Please don't use your resources to pay someone else's bills -even your mother's. Good Luck to you
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
Profile says OP is 57, mom is 79. No mention of cognitive issues, just for the record, so all these recommendations to get POA isn't really useful.

Agreed OP should NOT be spending her own savings and 401k to subsidize mom's irresponsibility.
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This might be better treated as a legal issue, with a joint visit to a lawyer.

*First, get a good idea of what mother’s genuine needs are costing a month or fortnight – meds, depends, etc. I’d include a contribution toward household expenses including food and utilities, but that’s up to you. See the lawyer yourself to set up the next step.
*Second, go with mother to the lawyer to get a direct debit organised to transfer that amount to your own account immediately the SS hits your mother’s account. Mother signs up at the lawyer’s office. I know that you can do that where I am in Oz, and it is standard for transfers for rent etc from pension payments, but you will have checked with the lawyer the options where you are.
*Third, tell your mother the amount of ‘spending money’ she has per SS payment after paying for her own expenses. That’s like the pocket money she gave you as a child. If she exceeds her ‘spending money’ she won’t be able to pay her shopping bills, and that she will probably be made bankrupt.
*Fourth, if you want, send a standard email or snail mail letter to all the sites she shops from, saying exactly that – her spending limits and her likely bankruptcy. Keep copies of every one to use in future when it becomes necessary.

I know full well that this is not fool proof – mother could cancel the arrangement etc – but formalising it may make far more impact on mother than anything you can do on your own. Good luck!
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I agree with most of the responses below, especially from Sohenc! See if you can get her Doctor to declare her unfit to take care of herself...then get a DPOA. You shouldn't have to take care of her bills. (and don't forget to take her as a dependent and itemize her expenses on your taxes!). Good luck, and keep YOUR head above water, since she is likely to drown you.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
As noted on another reply, you can't "get" a DPOA, the person has to appoint you. IF you have her declared "unfit", then legally she can't appoint anyone, as she wouldn't be capable of signing legal documents.

Catch-22

I also doubt you're going to find a doctor who will just declare someone unfit because you ask, even if they are irresponsible with finances. Being irresponsible isn't the same as incapable, otherwise there'd be a percentage of younger people declared unfit!!!
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So she sits at home doing nothing?
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If this hasn't already been mentioned, change your and her address to PO Box and then you can pick up the mail and throw out the catalogues. I believe there is a way to get off the mailing lists of catalogues (similar do the "do not call list") It will take some time becuase the catalogue companies will drag their feet to delete.
DO NOT TAKE ANY MORE MONEY OUT OF YOUR RETIREMENT ACCTS.
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If she had to go to the NH on Medicaid, (in Texas) she would get $60 personal spending money, money to pay her Medicare premium, and money to pay for a health insurance - like a supplement. All the remainder of her money would pay part of the nursing home bill and Medicaid pay the difference. Even if she had her own house, she could say she plans to return to it but someone else would have to pay all the bills for that house.

Make her a list of personal items that she needs to buy each month. Basically, you have created this spending monster by providing what she needs and allowing her money to go toward things that are not priority. Show her what each thing costs and after she pays for these items, she has XX dollars left for catalog shopping.

She put the ball in your court by saying you and siblings figure it out, so figure it out. Contact a credit counseling company in your area to consolidate all her debt, tear up the cards, and one payment per month the counseling company will dole out to her creditors. As one is paid off, they pay more toward the others. They also have the ability to work out a 'settlement' amount with each credit account. Then stick to it.

She may have paid for all your basic needs when you were a kid, but I doubt she handed all of you a credit card and said have a ball - I'll pick up the tab. I doubt she took you to the toy store and said - spend whatever you want even if I can't buy toilet paper or pay the rent this month. No problem. She is addicted to the shopping. It passes her time and she gets pleasure as the packages roll in.

You might also put in a change of address for the magazines to go to a siblings house. Because she has so many accts, you can bet her spending habits have created a vicious circle of those companies selling her info over and over again. Not to mention, many of the catalogs have different names but are really all the same company. Do what you can to reduce the catalogs coming to her.
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my2cents Sep 2021
Just thought about something else in regard to the payments she is currently making. When you show her the priority items she needs to be paying, show her how it will not leave enough money to pay those minimum amounts and let her know how much she can afford to pay them - $5 a month maybe? Once she starts paying less than amount owed, the COMPANY will cut off extending credit to her anymore - they will do the job of cutting off the credit. Does it really matter if she has good credit anymore? Cut the payments waaaaay back and then contact the credit counseling company to work out the plan for future.
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I agree with the person who advised you to get some therapy to set some boundaries and understand how things got to this place to begin with. Frankly your situation just makes me so angry. I am tired of parents who choose to have children and then resent providing them with food and shelter and then throw that back into their children faces in later years. I know I did not have children so I could guilt them and saddle them with my care later in life. You have wiped out your savings and are now dipping into your 401k??! Your mother has no business running up debt at her age and shame on her for not planning better. Honestly I want to say that your mother needs to choose between her meds and her debt. With that said, she is making choices that are endangering the both of you, but I doubt you will go cold turkey and stop buying her meds. You need to sit down with your family and make an emergency plan before you go broke, jeopardize your own retirement and get sick. She is being unreasonable and you cannot reason with her. You need to take action in your own best interest at this point, even if she is not happy with your plan. I don’t know what the history is, but her thinking sounds very disorganized and I would consider that she may have some cognitive decline happening.
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A lot of people have given you advise on HOW to take control. I haven’t seen much input on her expectation that you are going to pay her bills ‘because she paid for everything when you were a kid.’ This is a boundary issue for you. Get yourself into therapy to discuss how to set healthy boundaries with her. This didn’t happen overnight and has snowballed over time. Honestly, it’s one thing if you agreed to cover her expenses and were able to afford them on your income. But, you can’t cover them without dipping into your savings. It’s unsustainable and puts you (and your mother) in harms way. Get help for yourself. I know you started this with very good intentions but it’s gone too far at this point.
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Stop paying for her debt. Realize that she can not manage her finances anymore. Cancel all the catalogs. Get her a reloadable gift card from a credit card company and decide on how much money to put on it weekly or monthly. Take away all other access to funds. A white lie similar to "These accounts have been hacked. Here is the new card they sent. Let me have the other ones so I can destroy them." This way she has some money to play with but stops wrecking everybody's finances.

It might be helpful to talk to her bank about the financial pickle she has gotten herself into. They might give her a loan at a much lower percentage to consolidate debt and get rid of all those accounts. Then, use her money to pay the loan off. Otherwise, stop her using all these accounts. Pay off either the one with the lowest balance or the highest percent first. Do that while paying minimum on the rest. In time, you will have this cleared. Again: DO NOT USE YOUR MONEY TO CLEAR THIS UP; use hers.

Do not let whatever excuses she gives you sway your resolve. This is a problem that needs to be taken care of promptly.
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First of all the nonsense of "after all I paid for everything for you when you were kids" has to have the brakes put on it right now. Unless she was a single mother not receiving a cent of child support and zero assistance from the state, she didn't pay for everything. Please tell her this.
Also she IS the PARENT not you. It's the PARENT'S responsibility to provide for the children they bring into the world. It's not the childrens' responsibility to provide for them. Please tell her this as well,
So the solution to your problem is pretty straightforward.

STOP paying for her meds and her incontinence supplies and any other necessities for her that you're paying for. If shopping is more important than her medications to her or her incontinence supplies, then so be it. Don't back down.
She says it's up to you and your brothers to figure it out. Ask her how much purchasing she thinks she'll be doing if you and your brothers figure it out and the answer is a nursing home? This should be enough to curb her spending a bit.
Your mother is behaving like a spoiled brat child. Treat her like one.
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Your parents are your parents but that does not mean you have to pay for them. Stop dipping into your 401K because you will need that when you are older and can get it out. You are enabling her. Why should you pay for her meds that is on her. Tell your mom that you don't have the money to pay for her medications and living. Why I said you are enabling her is if she had to pay for her medications and living she wouldn't have the money to do what she is doing. Its time she starts being the adult that she is and stop sponging off of you and your brothers. I don't know what state you are in sometimes when your parents die if they owe anything you may have to pay their debt like I said before don't know.

What if she was living in a nursing home or assisted living home she would have to do this on her own pay for everything that is the way you have to look at it.

I would tell my brothers the same thing we don't have the money to support her wants so its time MOM steps up to pay for her own living.

Our parents raised us to be what we are today and I know my mother sees it that I don't have to pay her back for raising me. I would tell her she is on her own as to meds, if she really wants to she can get her own meds and living expenses.

Prayers that you stop enabling your mom and find her a place to go if she doesn't change her ways. Stop feeling guilty. Take care of yourself first.
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disgustedtoo Sep 2021
This is rather dated, but should still apply:

https://money.cnn.com/2014/06/19/pf/inherited-debt-adult-children/

The only debt mentioned that any adult child might be responsible for (aka required to pay from your own funds) is:
1) anything YOU signed onto, such as joint credit cards or loans
2) some states might require payback of medical/NH bills

Best to read through the whole article.

All other debt would have to come from the estate, if there is one. If there's not enough in the estate, there are "priorities", such as funeral homes get paid before other debt. If there's no estate, they can't get a dime for any of her debt. That doesn't stop collections agencies from harassing you, which isn't legal, but too many will stop at nothing to get something! NO NO NO NO, do NOT let them hassle you and NEVER agree to pay anything from your funds. Legally they are only allowed to contact the executor of the estate, but if there's no "estate", there's no executor.

They will do what's called skip-tracing, finding contacts who might have any relationship whatsoever with the person in the past. This is SO much easier for them now, with the internet. Thankfully there was only one time this happened to me - my son's former owed some money for medical. She had been gone for at least a year or two, but they called my home phone inquiring if I knew her. Yes, sort of, but I have ZERO responsibility for her and have no idea where she is now or how to contact her. At least that collection agency person was reasonable and accepted that. Never heard from them again. She'd already pretty much sucked me dry, paying for various things to help them out (I started referring to her as the Black Hole - she'll suck down your time, your money, your patience and you'll never see any of them again!!!)
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Well, she said for you to figure it out, so figure it out.

I would take away all her credit cards so she can't charge any more.

Tell her Social Security is to help pay for her a place to live, food and medication.

Let her know that she can get $100 a month Allowance to be spent as she pleases and the rest would be used for her care.

Tell her if she doesn't agree to this, then you will be happy to let her tour 2-3 Nursing Homes for her to choose to live.
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Lots of good answers here. My step mom had financial issues and paid her bills on time but had too many bills. I cancelled all of her cards, then she paid 5.00 a month to every one. In about a year, the companys’ settled for a payoff of 35% to 50%. They tried to get her to do payments but she did not have the money. She is now debt free and is very careful. Her debt was due to my dad who “bleeds” money he doesn’t have! For your situation, I would forward the mail to a friend (who agrees) or get a UPS or FedEx mailbox. Forwarding would be quicker and then change the address to the UPS or FEDEX. Her bills are her own. Stop paying them and figure out a budget for her that shows her how much she has and what her bills are (medications, co-pays, essentials). She can say what she wants but she is making you a co-dependent (someone who is saving her from herself and cleaning up her messes) while she is a dependent (creating crisis and drama). When I moved in with my mom to help her, she was bleeding money and I made an agreement with her. She didn’t like it, she said she wasn’t a baby but I told her my/her option was to call social services to have her evaluated because I would move out and let APS determine her future. She fussed but complied. I prayed about every thing —for wisdom and the best plan and for mom’s compliance and peace.
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Agree with other posts STOP PAYING her bills and get a durable financial Power of Attorney (POA) ASAP if you do not already have one!

Also, perhaps you said, but if this is credit card debt (?) and those cards are in her name ONLY; THEN STOP PAYING NOW. Yes, she'll default but so be it. If you have or can secure a POA, go to the bank and take over her account. Set up on-line banking so you can pay on-line directly for ONLY the things she needs. Take the check book and credit cards away from her. She'll have a fit, but do it.

For low income seniors as others have noted, each state has a low income subsidy Medicare Part D plan she likely would qualify for or perhaps she'd qualify for Medicaid assuming she has no assets. You should NOT have to be paying out of pocket for expensive meds and many State Medicaid plans will help w/incontinence supplies.

Contact your Area Agency on Aging or get an eldercare attorney to help you navigate some of this. Also, write to each charity to tell them to remove her from their mailing list. Also put her on the "do not contact" list with the direct marketing assn. which will stop most but not all: https://www.dmachoice.org My mom was receiving solicitations from appx 80 organizations and after doing all this we are now down to about 2 "charity junk mail things" which I just throw in the trash now. It took a year, but the incoming mail from these charities has largely stopped. Also, a few bounced checks will also help stop the incoming solicitations.

Put at freeze on her credit with the three credit agencies so she cannot take out any new credit cards. Here is a good article on that: https://www.northwesternmutual.com/life-and-money/you-can-now-freeze-your-credit-for-free/
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Clairesmum Sep 2021
this is a great summary of actions to take.
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