I need help! My husband's aunt was long relative and we finally got to reconnect as she was the most kindest and wonderful person ever, she love us and our kids unconditionally. Unfortunately she was very ill and fell into a coma. Hospital wouldn't give us any information since the sister was next in line and only one who could talk to the Hospital. This went the wrong way, her sister which is my husband's mother hated her sister and had threatened her son to never talk to their aunt or they will no longer be in her life. Now she is in charge of her case, and planning to do whatever she wants with her. Note: they had never spoke to each other for years since their mothers death (20 years ago or more) My husband's aunt had a mild dementia but her sister is insisting she has a severe dementia, and preventing her friends and family memebers to talk to her without a clear diagnosis from a professional. She took her phone, and keys and had the rehabilitation center with a no visit sign on the door.She is writing down everything she says to the nurses. She has log of everything she does or say. She keep telling us we can't talk to her because my husband's aunt it's going to say she wants to go home, and my husband's mother keeps insisting the reason why she says that is because she has the dementia. That my husband's aunt is very upset to be there as the rehabilitation center is not letting her go home as they are listening to my husband's mother who keeps telling them she has severe dementia. All her reasons and isolating her is because she thinks people are going to still her stuff. She wants to take over her Financials against her will.
They will go speak to the woman and intervene if she is in fact being held against her will and is competent to go home.
I would encourage you to get educated about dementia. It is a tragic disease that leaves a person unable to function in reality. If you haven't seen her for a long time, it might be hard for you to see the deficits in her executive functions.
I would say that her sister, your MIL, is doing the best she can for her sister in a difficult relationship.
I can not understand why you didn't stay in touch with the Auntie over the years and I question why now you want to what? Rescue her? Take her in? Cause your MIL hardship? You are all over the place and don't really provide any information. Long estrangement leads me to believe that you didn't have a relationship and only met or saw her occasionally.
I would like to know what your purpose and intent is now that Auntie is in a facility.
As I mention before we couldn't go to Georgia as my husband had too many days off for our son. So his brother went in his stead along with his mother.
We were planning to go last week while she was in the hospital but our son fell ill and end up in the hopsital.
Nothing works as one is plan, we have an special needs child and nothing is easy on us. She knew how hards it is for us, we have 3 kids and my husband is sole provider.
YYou can't assume and judge someone for trying to help a family memeber who is been take advantage of someone that we know is not at their best benefit.
We been in touch everyday and she has been part of our lives like an angel and we respected their wishes. She didn't have the dementia, and didn't have a diagnosis. While she woke up from her coma her brain was in confusion and her sister mentioned it was the dementia. She took over her case mentioning she is the only family memeber she's been in touch preventing everyone from calling her and taking her phone away.
She hasn't spoke to each since they were in their 20s.
My mother in law will not tell us the name of the place she put her in.
If you meet this person you will know she would tell you two different stories. Everyone is willing to step up and be a witness of how this person is not qualify to be her care taker.
This is going to be a fight but we will all fight to get her out. I appreciate your insight but we believe and we all know my husband's aunt.
You could try talking to an eldercare attorney about this . Possibly call her County Agency of Aging , or APS . Perhaps the social worker can get to the bottom of whether or not aunt can make her own decisions etc.
Some of what you say doesn’t add up . I don’t think you have accurate information .
From your post, I gather that you have only lately come to this situation. There may be a lot you don’t know. For instance, dementia can be mild but become severe very quickly. My family member had dementia that was growing worse for a long time, but if you rarely saw her, you wouldn’t know how bad it was. On May 5, she was walking well enough to go around the block, but by May 24, she was falling out of her dining chair and couldn’t walk at all. The progression of her disease caused that.
Dementia patients often say they want to go home. They say it for various reasons, but they have no idea where home is anymore, or they have vague ideas that home was a good place and they want to be there.
You should stay out of this. You have no authority in the matter, and there’s nothing you can contribute. Be thankful that aunt has someone to manage her illness, and if you really want to help, send a prepared dinner to your mother-in-law because she is probably exhausted from managing her sister’s care.
We have reached out to all her friends and they said she had no dementia and they all know her sister hated her. They're all worry about her