I have contacted Elderly Abuse. They have gone to my mother’s house and claim she “passes” the competency test. My mother has allowed this married man 20 years her junior to take over $100,000. She is protecting him. He and his wife live in another state. The information I have been able to get shows he gambles...off shore gambling. He told me when I called him that I would have a difficult time proving it and it is impossible without my mother’s help. I worry she will not have enough money to take care of herself in the event of a senior health problem. I have called the police in this man’s city and my mother’s as well with no help. She has isolated herself from her family and friends. She is 86 with mobility issues and severe hearing loss.
What a shame. I hope karma is real and that this hustler will pay for the crime he's truly committing here. I'm sorry you are going through such a thing and I'm doubly sorry that your poor mother is being swindled by a con man she believes is in love with her. Very sad situation.
Do you have siblings. If so, this needs to be their problem at this point. You have enough on ur plate with hubby.
Can I offer a virtual back rub?
Between your husband and your mother, I'm not sure anyone could blame you if you packed your bags, said "to h*ll with both of you!" and went off on a world tour to find yourself.
Your mother's boyfriend no doubt flatters her and makes her feel good (he'll go on doing so until she runs out of cash). You, by contrast, pull her up on points of reality and make her feel afraid and depressed. I don't see how you can win.
Social media? Have you been able to find out if he is preying on anyone else?
The only consolation for you meanwhile is that, delusion or not, your 86 year old mother with all her difficulties is having a nice time. In a way, it would be a mercy if she went to her grave never having been disillusioned.
What will you do when she runs out of money and runs into health and care problems? Any idea? It might be no bad thing to work out the worst case scenario - better than just worrying with no information to go on.
Sit down and make it clear to her (type it out and have her sign it) that you will be unavailable to help her with care if she gives away her money. Show her the documented prices of home health care and Assisted Living facilities in her area.
I would be tough and make it a choice between this low life and her loving child.