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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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You can’t change how much you did or didn’t see your dad. It does seem that the person that is consistently there is recognized as a source of comfort. There is some familiarity there. It could be that or it could be that you look nothing like the person your dad remembers as you. Recently my aunt who has Parkinson’s and dementia, maybe Lewy Body, remarked to her daughter, my cousin, “she sounds like 97” she recognized my voice but not me. I lost a dear friend earlier this year who was so sweet when I visited her last. Just like old times. Before I left I asked her if she knew my name and she shook her head no. Again, the young women we were together looked very differently than we did 40 years later. Another aunt (92) who has vascular dementia remarked that she really couldn’t remember her husband. He’s been gone 25 years. Yet when she saw a man in the parking lot today she had a vivid memory. He had a black cowboy hat on. She said “Look there’s George “. George died about 3 yrs ago. A favorite nephew. I just said, “No, it sure looks like his hat, but I don’t think that’s him “
We do tend to want to figure it out. It’s very perplexing as to how the brain can get so scrambled.
Enjoy him now. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a mystery, all we have is today.
It might be true, or it might not be. Is it coming across as a criticism of you because you didn’t see as much of him earlier as your sister did? If so, sort it out with her. You did what you could then, you are doing what you can now. What does she want now? Acknowledgement of her past help? Compensation? Or what? Don’t get into the guilt thing. Your father needs both of you, and you need each other for the rocky road ahead.
Georgia, does your dad have dementia or some other illness?
I don't think there is any accurate way to answer your question. In some kinds of dementia ( If that is indeed what dad has), there is no loss of knowing people. In others, that loss shows up early on.
I think the thing to remember is that whatever is going on is the fault of the disease. Not of the person with the disease, or of the folks who love that person.
Brains are incredibly complex mechanisms. Often the " reaon" for a particular behavior is not yet understood by cognitive scientists, let alone is mere mortals.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It could be that or it could be that you look nothing like the person your dad remembers as you.
Recently my aunt who has Parkinson’s and dementia, maybe Lewy Body, remarked to her daughter, my cousin, “she sounds like 97” she recognized my voice but not me.
I lost a dear friend earlier this year who was so sweet when I visited her last. Just like old times. Before I left I asked her if she knew my name and she shook her head no. Again, the young women we were together looked very differently than we did 40 years later.
Another aunt (92) who has vascular dementia remarked that she really couldn’t remember her husband. He’s been gone 25 years.
Yet when she saw a man in the parking lot today she had a vivid memory. He had a black cowboy hat on. She said “Look there’s George “.
George died about 3 yrs ago. A favorite nephew. I just said, “No, it sure looks like his hat, but I don’t think that’s him “
We do tend to want to figure it out. It’s very perplexing as to how the brain can get so scrambled.
Enjoy him now. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a mystery, all we have is today.
I don't think there is any accurate way to answer your question. In some kinds of dementia ( If that is indeed what dad has), there is no loss of knowing people. In others, that loss shows up early on.
I think the thing to remember is that whatever is going on is the fault of the disease. Not of the person with the disease, or of the folks who love that person.
Brains are incredibly complex mechanisms. Often the " reaon" for a particular behavior is not yet understood by cognitive scientists, let alone is mere mortals.