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She just sits on the side of the bed. Any suggestions?

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Read to her. Let her listen to the radio until she drifts off. Meditative tapes or sounds on a tablet at the bedside until she drifts off. Some like the low hum of the TV on in the room. Up to you just to try some different things, and hope you will find some that might work. Podcasts put me out like a light! Especially Esther Perel counseling couples on her Where Shall We Begin.
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NeedHelpWithMom Jun 2023
Same, I listen to podcasts or music.
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Some people don’t drift off to sleep immediately. When she does fall asleep, does she sleep all night?

Try playing soft music or a podcast for her. You can find podcasts on just about every topic! Find something interesting that you think she would enjoy relaxing with.
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Have you tried tucking her in?
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Perry I don't have any mental decline and am only 63 years old, and it doesn't matter what time I go to bed, it still takes me a good hour to an hour and a half(sometimes longer)to fall asleep as well. I think that's probably most people.
I like to watch some TV before I fall asleep, but I'm not sitting up when I'm watching it, I'm lying down.
Have you tried lying her down and turning on the TV, or her favorite music, podcast etc.?
Not everyone is like my late husband who was out like a light within minutes of hitting the pillow. I think he was the exception not the rule.
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fluffy1966 Jun 2023
Each of us know what 'works for us', but I would gently say that the "light" from the television set or from an IPad or desktop: has been proven to disrupt and activate the part of the brain where restful, calming 'Pre-Sleep" can occur. Lights out for the bedroom is what sleep specialists recommend. The flickering images of computer or television keep the brain stimulated and contribute to difficulty falling asleep but perhaps you are the exception. Darkness and perhaps restful sounds (sound machine) or calming, focused meditation (CDs) are recommended.
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Sleep issues are common with Alzheimer's and dementia. Here is a link to some tips to use to get your wife into a better sleep habit in general:

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/6-tips-managing-sleep-problems-alzheimers#:~:text=Set%20a%20quiet%2C%20peaceful%20mood,out%20loud%2C%20also%20may%20help.
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Perry: if you haven't already done so, check out this URL for someone asking the same question. It's recent and there's some good ideas:
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/i-often-go-days-on-only-3-hours-of-sleep-at-night-due-to-stress-of-caring-for-mom-moods-are-everywhe-481480.htm?orderby=recent
I'm going through the same problem myself, too. I never had problems until the last year getting to sleep, and I've just dropped off with a doctor info on Melatonin (recommended by my PCP) and some of the Sleepy Time Teas (Celestial Seasoning). Some people swear by them here but you have to check out the box information. The "regular" one doesn't have too many "warnings," but there's a whole new line of "Extra" Sleepy Time teas I discovered in my grocery store just recently. That line definitely says to check out the ingredients with your MD on the box.
How sad to hear about Monsieur Bourdain's death possibly being brought about by Ambien. He was one of a kind. When Ambien first came out on the market, a relative who then knew a lot more about prescription drugs than I did, recounted some very bad stories, such as a woman taking it who got up from sitting down, fell down and broke her leg.
Good luck! Not getting enough sleep is really a bad situation, as it impedes clear thinking, in addition to other things.
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KNance72 Jun 2023
Yes I do think it was Ambien that caused Anthony to do what he did he often had trouble sleeping due to switching time zones frequently
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I don't have any solutions. However, a caregiver at my Mom's MC found an ingenious solution for my mother who has moderate dementia and hard of hearing.

Make picture books (maybe one of your children can build it). Make it small and lightweight. (My niece had several built through an online service and Costco.) Have it contain pictures of friends, relatives, you, your children and grandchildren doing things or happy places. Do not change out the pictures. Just build new books. Before getting to bed, let her thumb through the book or books. Have at least 3 or 4 books. No captions on the pictures needed for her. Maybe captions for you so that you can identify the people.

The books help my Mom to relax. Looking at the picture books becomes part of the routine prior to bedtime.

Then, they tuck her in and she is content.
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I take magnesium at night, some studies suggest it helps with sleep, but, as it is with all supplements ask GP about interacting with meds. Along with some foods/ snacks rich in magnesium like cashews, peanuts, or now I love PB. And cup or two of camomile tea.
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Has this been discussed with her doctor? Is this a long term behavior of hers, not the sitting on the side of the bed, but the taking a while to fall asleep? If so, some people simply aren’t good sleepers. But I’d discuss this with her doctor and see if there’s a good solution there
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i have tried all of the relies and none seem to work. I was thinking about asking her PCP to perscribe a mild seditive,
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Bonnie76 Jun 2023
Please, please don’t start with “give her a sedative”. That is court of last resort. Try the other suggestions first.
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