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My 92-year-old mother is having incontinence issues, but very inconsistently. One day no problem, next day overnight problems where she cannot make it to the bathroom without releasing large amount of urine. She has been having UTIs and some other issues, working to get an appointment with urologist. She had some pull up briefs, but she says even though they are very stretchy they are too snug. She does not like any clothing too tight around waist. Thinking a tab brief would be better, but have spent hours on the Internet searching for samples. Have tried numerous attempts to order samples only to find they only have large-size samples in stock at the moment, the website is not allowing orders right now (maybe Internet issues from the bad weather?) or other issues.


So, thought I would try to narrow my search a bit. A small brief that is tabbed? Medium pull-up or tabbed? A brand that does not come up as high on the waist? Brand that fits snug and try cutting it near the waist?


Anyone used extra tape? Another site mentioned using painters tape, but think masking tape or similar would work.


Right now working on sizing and comfort in different brands, will focus a little more on absorbency another time.


Have looked at several posts, but some of them are older and maybe not up-to-date with current products. Also came across a couple of sites based on a subscription model. If needed, that's fine. But want to be careful of any company that may be hard to cancel. And, yes, I've read reviews on Amazon until I'm cross-eyed.

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Learn2Cope: My mother used incontinence underpants, whereby the pad is a part of the garment.
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I use LLMedico..com as they are very helpful and a small family owned business but there are also sites like carewell.com and northshore.com.

Give LLMedico a call and discuss your needs. I know they carry tabbed products that may fit your needs. You can check the website and filter on tabbed incontinence diapers. They have several.

Their customer service reps are very knowledgeable and helped me decide which products to buy for my Dad.

For my Dad, I use a better quality adult pull-up like Abena or Wellness for daytime use to avoid accidental leaks; They carry an excellent diaper for overnight like Beyond XP5000 because they are very absorbent and he says he never feels the wetness.

I also recommend booster pads that extend the life of pull-ups (Wellness brand is the best booster I’ve found.)

join Reddit.com - their caregiver support groups great at providing helpful advice & product recommendations too.

https://www.reddit.com/r/CaregiverSupport/s/5YbeXE599z

https://www.reddit.com/r/caregiving/s/TKQT8z6m6S
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I believe I found the Carewell site through Aging Care. The customer service has been very good and they can also advise you. It is easy to order, or even pre-order for regular delivery. Here is the link to the site: https://www.carewell.com/
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I agree with Walgreens brand. Even though my mom was small, I bought size large
and adjusted the tightness with the tabs.
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Learn2cope,

I would wholeheartedly recommend Depends, in one size up from the underwear that fits your mother best. Mom has sensitive skin and doesn't like things too tight. I don't know how many brands and sizes we tried but Depends worked best for her, didn't irritate her skin, and handled the large amount of urine she released, along with a washable pad under her while she sleeps (just in case).
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I suggest trying the various brands and products by buying at Walgreens or cvs or Walmart first. My 89 yo mother wears whatever pull up brand I buy. Always I think is her favorite. She is very small, 105 lbs but wants the medium size, not small, because she doesn’t like them tight either.
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My mother wears Always Discreet Incontinence underwear which is fairly soft and doesn't squeeze around her waist.

Inside of the underwear, she has a pad. The Tena Sensitive Overnight or the Tena Sensitive Maximum absorbency.

The Tena sensitive brand is very soft and doesn't bother or scratch her. Being able to change the pad saves on the underwear.

If your mother is mostly continent, maybe just the pad inside of her regular underwear will work for her.

It was trial and error before we were able to find what works for her.
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Have you tried just the absorbent inserts?
There are companies that make washable incontinence underwear that might fit better than disposable
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Is the issue only overnight?
Is the expectation that she put them on? Does she have help?
If she has dementia along with her incontinence then briefs might work better for her as they go on the same way as panties. With dementia she may struggle with making sense of the tabs by herself, since it's a 'new' task. I do think tabs are better if fecal incontinence starts, but that they're easier for the person when there's someone to assist.
These are a bit more expensive, but have a range of absorbencies. They're very soft. It looks like Parentgiving bought this company. You can order sample sizes for briefs or tab-sided.
https://www.parentgiving.com/products/dry-direct-super-overnight-underwear
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Is your mom in AL or have any kind of nursing or an aide? they could help figure out the size. Otherwise, find a good surgical supply store (not a CVS or Walgreens). Give them your mom's approximate height and weight and they can help you figure out what to get. My aunt is bedridden and pullups wouldn't work, so the ones with tabs works fine. They will also be less expensive than buying packages at the pharmacy because you can get a case at a time.
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I picked up my mother’s at Walgreens when I bought other things that she needed.

Mom liked the Serenity brand in a size small. They weren’t too tight.

I bought Depends brand as well. They worked well too.

I suppose the tab type would be easier to adjust in the waist. I always bought the pull up style.
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Mom had a tummy. I found that Depends for her were below her belly button. I think she wore medium. I liked Walgreens Serenity because they did go over her belly button.
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Incontinence briefs are as varied as can be. What works for one does not work for another, as you might imagine. Neither of my parents were ever satisfied with the fit of their briefs, no matter what brand or size I purchased them. Since I was unable to manufacture the Perfect Size for them, they had to accept the lesser of the evils which were Depends pull ups. My mother would insist another brand was better, until I got her that brand, then she'd ask for the Depends back.

Don't drive yourself crazy. Buy a few different types of SMALL bags and ask mother which she prefers. Then go with those full time, even though the accidents aren't consistent. They will become consistent, trust me. And so will the complaining about the briefs. They all leave something to be desired because NOBODY wants to wear them! Ain't that the truth?
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