Hi.
I am the sole caregiver of my 77-year-old mom. The diagnosis is brand new. She cries and wrings her hands (4 months now) to never put her into care. This is heartbreaking. She knows something is wrong and cries repeatedly and asks me if I think the Dr. Can fix her so she can get her words out. She's had anxiety attack after anxiety attack behind this. We saw the Dr. who said on a scale, she would put my mom at a 6 c. Agitation, smelling things that are not there and delusions are new. It's hyper focused on her $. She can't sign her name and gave me financial & medical power of attorney months ago, though she doesn't remember that now. I pay her bills by phone each month. I am disabled myself and she is my last living family member. Sister is gone. But she can't decipher her check register and believes "kids" are getting into her checkbook, spending her money. Gently telling her I am your daughter and just your boils come from this. She's confused. Saying she wants to turn in her debit card to the bank thinking that will stop it. I live on a very meager stipend monthly myself and use over half my check on food and other things and I'm struggling with no help. I cannot make her understand (obviously) that no one is using her money. I got a Rx for her yesterday, and she forgot (naturally) she had given it to me. When I told her, she mocked me and started dancing around (as if she were me) dancing around saying "oh boy, that was a good day for you. I bet you danced a jig!" Then proceeded to call me Hilda. As in broom Hilda. She still knows who I am although that's starting to fade. Are there any ideas about paying her bills? I am in the process of filing personal bankruptcy so I have not gone all the way through with opening the new account needed to have access to the checking account although I was told by my attorney I could go ahead. If I did that, I would have a card with my name on it and could just pay the bills without ever needing to ask for her card in a few weeks when her other monthly bills arrive. She's getting agitated with that. Threatening to sell her house, which we live in a long with granddaughter temporarily. She could remove power of attorney anytime. But couldn't get the words out to do it. That's not the issue really. They have put her on Abilify which is an antipsychotic. Don't know if that will help. She has had some sundowning events and had to be given a sedative as she was up from 3 am until noon the next day talking not making sense and crying for that entire time. The sedative was one from a 20-year-old bottle she had for emergencies. I've asked the doctor about something for that should it happen again, but they want to try antidepressants for anxiety. We've tried 4. Anyway, I'm off topic. Forgive me. After being in for a year straight now (except for the grocery store, bible study and church) the walls feel like they are closing in on me a bit. So any suggestions and the money situation and maybe any types of medicines that have seemed to manage any symptoms would be greatly appreciated.
Anna
I would suggest seeing an elder law attorney and ask him for referral to a Licensed Fiduciary to manage your Mom's accounts and her placement for you; it sounds as though you need your own resources now for your own care, and don't really know how to go about being a financial Fiduciary. Your POA document, your Mom's assets, pay for expertise to manage her life for her ongoing. If there is not other support for you, I am unclear how you can manage all this otherwise.
It does sound to me as though you are going to need someone to manage Mom's care.
I sure wish you the best and hope others have some ideas for you as well.
My mom has a geriatric psychiatrist who handles her anxiety meds. They specialize in this sort of condition.
Is there one in your area? My mother’s geriatric Psychiatrist visits her in her facility.