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I would also ask if there are any other issues in your marriage that need to be addressed. If so then this is another symptom and you should consider getting counseling of some kind.
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Take a month's long vacation by yourself and let your husband take responsibility for his parents. This just might open his eyes to how much you do for them and start sharing in the responsibilites when you get back. If it doesn't work it just shows how much of a person your husband really is.
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Calling you irresponsible is unfair. His parents, his show. Walking out is going to make things worse, so I'd help him out by looking for reliable caregivers. Don't bottle things up. He needs to know how you feel.

Taking care of your in-laws is a heavy workout, and I guess he assumes that since you're home (don't know if you work) it's your responsibility to take care of them. He's mistaken.
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Having been in a - what I called jokingly way back when - a 'practice' marriage to a man who 'wasn't married even though I was' (can you tell I use humor to keep myself from crying!?), I can tell you, there were so many broken parts it is shocking to me now that we lasted a total of 17 years. He had me convinced that he couldn't cook a meal, manage the money, 'babysit' his own children, or call his mother on the phone. Those, any many other things, were basically 'women's work'.
To the point of the person above who says a lot more must be wrong, he/she is correct. They ARE his parents. I suspect that if you felt he'd do the same for you (in caring for parents or any other thing) you would be much less resentful.
I am now married, and have been, for ten years to a totally different kind of man. A real man, a man who loves me with his whole heart and to whom my wellbeing and happiness is paramount. And his, to me. If I were taking care of his mother, or him, mine, and anything got to be too much something would change immediately. Unfortunately, unless you DO take that month long vacation and let him see what he'd be facing if you weren't around, probably nothing will change, particularly if you have been at this for a long time. By the way, I did discover that my ex could do the following: compliment me on what I cooked or how I looked, buy me flowers spontaneously, fix his own sandwich, call his own mother (or not), etc. But it came when I finally could not take it another minute. My depression had grown so deep (and my five year old told me that it seemed like 'you love Daddy a lot more than he loves you') and my resentment so overwhelming at his cold shoulder that I knew it would kill me to stay another minute. Oddly, once he only did those things in order to keep me I felt more angry than ever, knowing he'd had it in him all that time and he could see me dying on the vine and never once tried to be there for me until he realized his gravy boat could be permanently empty. It all felt manipulative. I don't know about your husband and his motivations. But I do understand your feelings. Get a good counselor, ask him to come with you (so you can both hear each other) but if he doesn't, then go alone. And - drop the ball with things that he needs to attend to. He will not know you are serious if you have always threatened and never acted. God bless.
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robi how is it going?
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