My mom in-law lives alone. She is 90 and has dementia, falls down a lot and just got out of the hospital with two fractured shoulders. A few weeks ago, her legs stopped holding her up and now she can’t even make it to the toilet. She is now in rehab at a nursing home. We would like her to stay there.
We do not have POA, and it looks expensive to get it now.
Can we get a doctor to say she has to stay, or do we have to talk her into it herself?
You may be thinking of guardianship. The truth is that now your Mom is in care is the best time to take care of things. Call up the social worker right away and let them know that discharge planning needs to start NOW because Mom has not appointed a POA. Often the Social Worker can help you get emergency guardianship for your Mom through a call to a judge.
You are correct that becoming appointed as guardian may otherwise be expensive.
HOWEVER............before you seek guardianship, do know that guardianship, your only option now (conservatorship) may be more costly. Moreover this is a court appointed position in which you are legally responsible once you take on the duty. You will need to keep meticulous records, and you will need to vouch for Mom's assets, set up accounts with you as guardian and be responsible for every penny in and out of accounts. Basically you will be doing it ALL. Look up the definition of guardianship or conservatorship for your State. Know whether you want this onerous task or not. It is pretty much a full time task for a year as you get everything together. You may rather let the state make your Mom a ward of the state if she doesn't wish to accept that she now needs long term care. They will see to it she is diagnosed, they will do the court hearings. They will do placement and money management.
The bad thing when that is the chosen option is that you will have little to nothing to say about what properties are sold, what placement is considered or where.
None of this is easy choices and I am so sorry you Mom didn't make you POA while she could.
IF Mom has a will tucked away anywhere do access and read it. Many include a DPOA clause in it saying who will be POA in case of incompetency. Many people don't understand that there is already one extant.
I sure do wish you good luck. Do contact the social worker where Mom is as soon as you can and set up a meeting. Hope you will update us how this is all going for you.
The social worker at the facility can walk you through all of this, and also through the Medicaid application if required.
Best of luck!
Good luck
Discuss discharge and what the plans will be. Inform the Social Worker that:
Mom can not live at home alone.
Mom dies not have anyone that can care for her 24/7
With a diagnosis of dementia you can not get POA as she does not have the capacity to "give" it.
You or another family member would have to become her Guardian. If no one wants that task then the Court will appoint a Guardian.
In my case though the cost of becoming a Guardian were paid from the assets of the person I was a Guardian. It does require paperwork, court appearances. Some of the paperwork can be done by mail, some can be handled by the attorney.
But discuss now with the Social Worker options. This is not the first time that they have come across this scenario.