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I have a bad low back.  We are moving mom this week to our home, We are flying a 2 hour flight, early morning. I know she is nervous about moving. My sister and I have cared for mom for the past 4 years every other month. She still knows things only in the moment. I don't want to overwhelm her. I approach every in life with love and confidence, that doesn't mean that I should expect others to respond in the same fashion. I guess I am needing some reassurance from others who have already been through, what we are getting ready to do. Thank you for your support.

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Everyone who advised against lifting her really is telling the truth here, because yes, your back really will suffer sooner or later.
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Don't lift her. Let her do most of the work. This is my role with my mother. Sometimes I had to pick her up off the floor, but my back always suffered. If she falls, call 911. They will come pick her up off the floor. I lost my mother in January of this year, and I encouraged her to use her walker and to let me push her in the wheel chair. I seldom had to lift her. It's amazing how much an elderly frail person can do for themselves.
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Thanklessjob is right on this one, it confirms what I was also saying about not lifting if you already have a bad back. Back injuries can at some point put you in a wheelchair, I use one myself due to old injury related arthritis. Anytime you've ever injured your back bad enough, I know from experience that later in life you will start having problems. Sometimes you can have problems even after the injury is freshly healed, and you can still have problems throughout the rest of your life. At some point, you won't be able to walk without pain, I can't! On my good days, I feel a slight discomfort during a walk, only to feel the sharp burning when I go to sit down and reposition my spine. It takes me quite a while to overcome this kind of pain. On my bad days, I actually feel the pain during the walk, and on my absolute worst days I have not made it out of bed. I'm telling you, when you get arthritis in your back, you never get rid of it because it never goes away. I'm not confined to the wheelchair, but I do use it quite a bit. If I'm going to be walking very far or be on my feet very long and need to navigate, I will use my chair. Another alternative to the chair is only doing a very little bit at a time and then sitting down. I just can't be on my feet long or walk far without low back pain. Are used to be able to walk much further and be on my feet much longer than I can now, all because of an old back injury that has developed into arthritis probably from the very start since I was in bed with that back injury for four months straight
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Candyce,
You say you have been taking turns being the c/g for your mom every other month. How did you handle her (and your back) when you were at her home? Did you have help there and won't at your house?
I have been a nurse for 37 years and I've had my share of back problems from heavy or incapacitated patients. I have slipped and crumbling discs and a bad sacroiliac joint. I recently had to quit working for a lady who became immobile. I was lifting her out of bed, into the w/c, onto the toilet, into my car, etc. I was calling off work about once a month and finally my job wanted a doctor's note to return to work. The doc wouldn't give it to me. Why? Because pain is a symptom of a bad situation. It means something is WRONG. Please remember NOT to use any part of your body that is ALREADY in pain.
That said, please get a clearance from your doctor or whoever is medically treating your back problem. If they clear you to move your mom, ask for a physical therapy evaluation. If THEY clear you, then have them show you HOW to move, roll, transfer, etc. the correct way.
My back will never be the same and I know 2 nurses in wheelchairs today because of repetitive back injuries. I can't hardly lift anything without suffering. It's the only back you'll ever have. It's not worth being an injured hero.
Get help to move her, or hire someone for her care in your home. If you know your back is already bad, don't push it. You want to be able to enjoy (and walk) in YOUR golden years.
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I cared for a woman with alzheimers for two years. She also had a stroke and one side of her body was too weak to walk on her own. I helped her walk by supporting her 'stroke side' with my body, my arm around her and then she could talk short walks from chair to table, across the room etc.. When we went out or for walks we used a walker or wheelchair which I felt was too clumsy in the house. Over a period of two years I did this and did not realize the damage I was doing to my own body. I was thinking of her dignity and felt strong enough at the time. Long story short, years later I still suffer from a bad neck (leaning my head and shoulders always to my right to support the left side of her body. I also can no longer tilt my head to my left shoulder because I did something to the muscle over time. I should have been using the belt, which a CNA could demonstrate for you, to help with the lifting and to shift my body properly. I have virtually constant pain, take Celebrex and Flexeril and have had to do physical therapy myself. My suggestion to you is to get a professional to show you how to help ambulate your mom (lifting, help with walking, etc) and DO IT even if it seems cumbersome. Over time your body will suffer if you don't.
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Get help from physical therapy, for lower body mechanics. Get help from occupational therapy for upper body mechanics.
Google this.
Talk to, call a rehab hospital.
See if therapist can come over and teach you.
Ask who pays for it.
Go on YouTube and find TRANSFERS PHYSICAL THERAPY, or similar.
Take care of your own back. You will need help!
M88
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You are getting ready for back pain. Either get a lower back ablation to relieve pain (Medicare covered), or get someone else to lift her when needed. I am having to help my husband get up and down and we weigh the same (115 lbs.) and I am a nurse and it still hurts somewhat. I've had the ablation done. Also, get a gait belt that goes around one's waist to help in the leverage. It also goes downhill from now on...
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Many excellent suggestions the far. It's very important that you get professional advice regarding whatever you should or should not do as you manage Mom.
My wife has had episodes of not falling but of slowly stopping standing or sitting. Hence, there have been no calamitous splats. If I am able to roll her onto her back, bend both her knees and place my feet on top of each of her feet and toes, I have been able to help her stand up without bending my back under pressure by holding her hands and leaning backwards. Upon standing, I give her a hug during which she gets back her bearings, and we're good to go again. Try not to become angry. It's frustrating but it's not her fault. Most of all, take care of yourself. If you crash and burn, so will Mom.
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Candyce22, you can get a transport chair for $100 that folds up. Pull her close to the car door with you in front if her, and lock the wchair. Explain shes getting up on a
1 2 3. Rock her 1 2 3 up. Put one leg inbetween hers. Bend your knees. Stand her straight up close to you. Ok mom, okay now lets dance to the right (or left)and sit her on edge if car seat. Have someone else in other side of car for extra help. Lift her legs and pivot them in. Great job mom. We used "On the Road again"
cd by willy nelson to make it fun. Music does wonders aways as they uuse a different part of their brain to listen. I sang words to her a lot. If you want, you can buy a rotating disc chair pad but for us, it made the seat too high.Best of luck to you. Once in your home, ask the doctor for a hoyer lift and wherlchair free with an rx from medicare. It will help you get her into bed and you can lift her off floor easily by rolling her and putting the sling under her. Soon she wont be able to get in the car, thats the tough part, we bought an old used van. I lost my mom 3-11-16, after over an 8 year stay with us. Bless you ♡
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I also have a bad lower back. Lifting mother is out of the question.
See a PT who can show you ways to work with your mother and her abilities to lessen the strain on you. My old client thought I was a little workhorse and getting her in and out of the car was like lifting a bag of wet cement (I actually had to have 2 back surgeries after retiring from elder care!) This PT gave us some really good methods of "helping" the patient to help you--so neither of the strain is all on either of you.

With Mother, now, if she falls, it's just 911. Sad, but even 3 adults cannot get her off the floor. Luckily she hasn't fallen in quite a while.

Best of luck-and protect your back! I will have chronic pain for the rest of my life from abusing a seemingly super-hero back strength and lifting incorrectly!
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These are all good answers so far. I'd also suggest getting advice from a physical therapist, or possibly a professional caregiver or a nurse, if they have experience. If it's within your mother's abilities, there are also sitting and standing-up exercises that could strengthen her muscles so that she might eventually try to help in the process.
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I was just thinking, there are private ambulance services out there to help move people who need moved. They use these all the time to transport people from hospital back to home, and you may check into a private ambulance service as well as getting her a wheelchair. You may also check with her insurance if she's under Medicaid to see if they would help you. You may see how far you're allowed to travel with the provided transportation and see what the mileage limit is. All of these alternatives to risking a back injury on your part, because you don't need to disable yourself and put yourself out of commission because then there would be two of you out of commission.
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Four years. Same mom. Same back. Is the flight the part you are worried about? Good advice on that above. Were you caring for her in a nursing home and now bringing her into your private home? I'm a little confused. Moving her is of course a big deal. New drs, possible changes in insurance coverage. Trips to the new drs.
Transitions from bed to potty to chair. Will you have help? Have you checked in with your health care provider on how to protect your back? Therapy for you to strengthen your core might help protect your back. Best of luck on the transition to you and your mom and your household. And to your back!!
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An occupational therapist could do a home evaluation for you and suggest items that might make it easier for your mother to move about: grab bars, raised toilet seat, bed frame rail that slips under the mattress (this helps my dad get in and out of bed and makes him feel safer). This is something her doctor could write a prescription for and Medicare will pay for it. A physical therapist might be helpful for you so you will know what you can and cannot do. If your mother should fall, call 911. Do not risk disabling yourself by trying to pick her up. You might also consider getting a life alert service, so if your mother falls and you're not available, she can still get help. This is a big undertaking, and there will be some adjustments for all of you. Good luck.
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Oh how I hate auto correct! I was trying to say that I would not suggest listing anyone if you have a bad lower back, because you could have your back suddenly give out, causing injury to both yourself and the person you're trying to lift. Lifting someone when you already have a bad back is actually an accident waiting to happen, because you will not only risk your back suddenly giving out, but you also risk an injury to the person you're trying to carry because if you're back suddenly gives out, you will drop the person, likely causing injury to them. You can get a manual wheelchair at your local drug mart for fairly cheap (and without a prescription). You can get the manual wheelchair in a box, (they're on the bottom shelf). If this person can still walk, you definitely want to encourage her to walk, but if not, this is what manual wheelchairs are for because they are definitely back savers. I really don't think you would want to also be bedridden because you made the mistake of lifting someone you shouldn't have been lifting with a bad back. If your love one is already bedridden, you don't need to join them because of a back injury you could've avoided. Take it from someone who has been there and already had a back injury in their teens, but my injury was from goofing off and not caregiving. In either scenario, not only can your back give out, but you also and up dropping the person. I have arthritis today from that incident, and this was long after the four months I was stuck in bed with a back injury. It's not worth the risk to lift someone with a bad back and risk a back injury
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If you have a bad lower back like I do, I would definitely suggest lifting anyone because you could actually have your back suddenly give out, causing you to go down and drop whoever you're trying to carry. Yes this person can still walk, you should definitely encourage walking, because you really should not be risking a back injury that could also put the other person in danger. If the person cannot walk, you should be able to get a wheelchair fairly cheap, you can find these at your local drug mart in a box. These days wheelchairs are really not hard to get at all, and you don't need a prescription anymore. Manual wheelchairs can even be purchased second handed from private individuals who no longer use them. Using a wheelchair for the person who can't walk is so much safer than trying to carry them, (especially if you already have a bad back). You mentioned something about a flight. The airline will most likely have an airline stroller that they use for the handicapped. You can also bring your own wheelchair up to that point, and your wheelchair will be loaded at the time the handicapped person is transferred into the airline stroller and loaded onto the plane. Your own wheelchair will be folded by the airline and stored in a specific luggage area where large luggage items are stored. When you land, your wheelchair will be unloaded from that luggage area and returned to you and your family when the handicapped person is re-transferred from the stroller back into your personal wheelchair.
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I found this article here on Aging Care, hope it is helpful :)

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/Preventing-Back-Injuries-from-lifting-someone-122277.htm
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