My mother in law is dying. Her only child, my husband, does not have the Health Care Proxy nor Power of Attorney. (She set it up when he was 15, and she never changed it.)
Her HCP/POA does not like me. She is prohibiting me from visiting her in Hospice and from attending the (eventual) funeral. (She has had her feeding tube removed and is on "comfort measures only.")
I just want to be able to say, "Good Bye." My husband has tried to reason with her and has gotten no where. Is there anything I can do? If I show up, can she prevent me from visiting? Legally ...
I have heard story after story where a Power of Attorney makes a short phone call to the nursing home and say’s “I don’t want so&so (in most cases it’s a blood relative of the patient) to have any more visits or communication with the patient”
With no questions asked the nursing home will then follow the instructions. I’ve even heard of a case where the power of attorney instructed staff to remove the patents personal phone from their room with further instructions not to allow the patient to receive any phone calls through the house phone without first getting the OK from the power of Attorney.
The thing that pisses me off the most is when I read thing like the Power of Attorney don’t (Generally) have this kind of authority. Or some just come out and say, taking away a basic human right visitations can only be done through a court order, period.
Why then does every nursing home comply no questions asked?
Doesn't a power of attorney have to accountable to anyone. Or at least be required to give good cause in front of a judge before being allow to sever family relationships with no more than a quick phone call.
I'm going to start blogging about this.
But are you sure that there is a better alternative for his care? Look before you leap when it comes to encouraging him to do any of this. What is your relationship to the patient?
More often than not, it is the insurance company who determines how long a person stays in the hospital than the doctor or anyone else. Doctors recent the insurance companies telling them how to do medical treatment.
lynpep,
I'm not sure about that for the hospital is the domain of the doctor and nurses who can be informed of the concerns and then decide what to do. What sort of visitation restrictions is the father under already? Is he in ICU or CCU? Is this family member a threat to their physical health and well being? In what ways is this person seen as a threat?
What has he been in the hospital since November of last year for? That's almost 9 months? I'm surprised that his insurance has not sent him to a nursing home.
I don't know what to suggest about his daughter saying not to visit him and don't understand why she sees you as a threat to his health.
He then wrote a strongly worded letter to the hospital and the POA saying there was nothing within the scope of power giving the POA the power to control visitations and to uphold the request to bar your visitations was illegal.
He demanded an immediate cease and desist or further legal action will be taken notice.
That did the trick. They laid down like sack of potatoes.
It cost me about 600.00 but it was worth every penny.
Most people don’t the POA’s because they just don’t know the scope of their power. It’s not uncommon for them to over step the limits of their power and it’s really is a problem
Read this article about visitation rights, it's really an eye opener.
legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary/Visitation+Rights
canhr/reports/VisitationRightsGuide.pdf
my sister is vindictive, mean, nasty, psychotic,and has been for years abusing her poa power,she thrives on power she is crazy.she told me a couple of times that she is going to make sure in all her power that i do not get any money from my mother. my mother said yes tony she wants all of my money. so now my mom has dementia and my sister drove my mom into a nursing home and now is not telling me where my mom is or where she does not answer phone calls, i have no way of communicating with her. i have no restraining order against me.me and my mom have been living and seeing each other happily for over 50 years, phoning each other too every day.she is jealous of me because she knows how much my mom hates her for not being a part of my family for 40 years so now my mom wants to give me her money or split it but my sister wants all of her money and house. leaving me with nothing. yes, my mom was under deress when she signed her over to poa, now my mom wants me to be poa or split the poa and my sister will not even agree to that, so how can i see my mom.
We have a dear friend at Clarity Pointe in Fayetteville - - the POA told them to admit NO visitors, allow NO phone calls, and to return all mail to senders.
The POA doesn't have that power, but Clarity Pointe obeyed anyway, and our dear friend has been, for weeks and weeks, completely isolated from everyone back home who wants to visit, phone, or even send cards.
You're right that Clarity Pointe should check the actual document, because POA has no right to do any of this, but they don't. It's unbelievably inhumane, but they don't check.
So without asking you to lay out a confession, I suggest you consider whether your uncle would have any reason to believe that your presence in your grandfather's life would be undesirable.
Otherwise, it is difficult to see what problem your uncle would have with your attending your grandmother's memorial service. He certainly would have had no power to prevent your attendance unless it was to protect other vulnerable family members e.g. your grandfather.
You don't have to answer of course, but we're bound to be curious - what on earth have you done to p*ss him off that badly?
b) I wouldn't have thought so, no. Guardianship, like POA, would on the death of the ward. Moreover it would be impossible for the guardian to claim that this would protect your mother's best interests, for obvious reasons. That doesn't mean, of course, that nothing can be done by anybody to prevent you attending. If other mourners would be unhappy to see you there and have very good reasons for it, no doubt they would consult about their options.
So I have to ask: what the heck?
And I also have to notice that that's pretty much what I said to the last question. What a coincidence!
Thank You