My mother is 95 and has moderate dementia. She has lived with us for 2 years because my parents didn't plan well for retirement and she couldn't afford to stay in senior independent living. Her dementia has progressed some in the last several months but she is still able to do her daily living skills. She can't cook but can make a sandwich or heat something in the microwave. I take her to appointments, do her finances, medicine and manage any of her business. She doesn't get around very well so she's stopped going to church or pretty much any outings.
She has long term care insurance so when she qualifies for assisted living we can tap into that. I'm trying to decide when will be the right time to start looking at her moving into AL. Right now if we moved her she would still be able to go to meals and talk with and be around people. Which I think she would like. If I wait until the dementia is more progressed and its memory care, she will be really sad and I think scared. So I'm struggling with the timing.
I'll admit we would like to move her just to get our normalcy back but I don't want to rush it. Any advice?
If the "us" in your story is you and a spouse, then your relationship is the priority and not the timing of when you think Mom will be "ready". She's 95, and that's reason enough for it to happen sooner rather than later. The people and activity will be so much better for her than being cloistered in your home.
When looking for a place look at ones that accept Medicaid.
When the Long Term Care Insurance is running out begin the application for Medicaid. Many places what a person Private Pay for a time, usually 2 to 3 years, before Medicaid.
My logic is take advantage of the LTC policy now, you never know what might happen in 6 months or a year, She may have a Stroke, Heart attack, fall that would possibly kill her or the move would be to Skilled Nursing. (sorry if that was a bit direct)
My mom is in a graduated - care facility, and sometimes I see people from the independent living coming to visit and have lunch with a friend now in the MC. It’s nice to see some connections are kept.
Wishing you the best in this tough time…
AL would be a great place for her. My mom is in one with moderate dementia. It was nice for her to get there before she gets too bad so that she could find her way to the dining room and to bingo.
Do you have POA?