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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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When my grandma is using bad words for us in a loud voice and is acting almost insane, and especially she is not willing to listen or to believe anyone , how must we react to calm her down?
Teepa Snow is an amazing speaker and I second the suggestion from Countrymouse. You also may want to read this article: healthcentral/alzheimers/c/62/145404/caregivers-abuse
Your grandma can't help herself. Many people swear when they enter a certain stage of dementia, and this includes people who never previously swore. The same is true for abusive behavior. Handling the abuse can be difficult to say the least.
She may be in pain and can't express this, or she may be so confused and frightened that this is her only outlet. I'd be very honest with her doctor - even write down some episodes - and ask if there's a medication that can help her anxiety. This may at least help a little.
Adeena (sorry, me again!) if you go to the Search Site box top right and enter "Teepa Snow" you'll see a list of really helpful links for this kind of problem. Teepa is brilliant, she really knows her stuff. Hope you find what you're looking for x
If you can, detach your emotions a little. Keep on loving and doing all that you can and remember, they aren't the person they used to be. Deep down, you do still love them and that is what their wanting to hear and see from you. It is amazing what love does to a hurting person!
Glad you mum is willing to do this. You are right - it is for her own good, and there comes a time with some older people, as with children. we need to do what is for their good, not necessarily what they want. Hope she settles down now.
adeena - Carol and cm have pointed you in a good direction. Managing a person with dementia is difficult. Setting some boundaries can be helpful., and learning to detach and not take the abuse personally.
liflerner - there aren't many people on the site today due to the holidays. I wish I knew how to make someone take a drug they need, when they choose not to. My mother has BPD and also now increasing paranoia and delusions and she refuses to take the meds that help her. Her life has become more unmanageable due to her paranoia and complaints/accusations and that makes it very difficult for her and those trying to take care of her. Other have suggested to me that crushing pills and putting them in food may be a way of getting her meds into her. It happens in some nursing homes. It is not an option in mother's case. I have great sympathy for you as I am in the same position, but having discussed it with several professionals, have not found an answer.
Emjo, could you get medications in a patch that you could put on your mom where she can't reach it (or see it, like on her back)?
This is a little off-the-wall, but my neighbor has a cat that wouldn't take medications (like most cats) and her vet suggested a compounding pharmacy. They created a salve that had the medication. She rubbed it in her cat's ears. Not sure if/how that might work with a human, but I would investigate if a patch or some kind of salve or lotion might be workable.
blannie - what a novel idea! Mother lives on her own in independent living still. The psych nurse who visits her didn't seem to think there was any way to get the meds into her if she didn't want to take them. She refuses to let the ALF manage her meds, and keeps tight control of them herself, so there really is no one who could even do that. But, it is something to keep in mind that might work in the future. It would depend on whether or not the meds would be absorbed through the skin. I don't know if the medical profession here would agree with giving them to her without her knowledge while she still is considered competent. But thanks for the idea - maybe one day... Hope you are having a decent Christmas and that this years is a good one for you.
Thankyou, well previously we used to give her "Essentia Aura" as directed by a doctor, and the med had a positive effect on her. But then she refused to take her meds and when i tried to convince my mom that it is perfectly alright to add the drops in her food, she refused to do so as she thought that it would be as if we are cheating on her. But thanks to my dad, i think she is now ready to give her medicines secretly, i mean after all its for her good.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
healthcentral/alzheimers/c/62/145404/caregivers-abuse
Your grandma can't help herself. Many people swear when they enter a certain stage of dementia, and this includes people who never previously swore. The same is true for abusive behavior. Handling the abuse can be difficult to say the least.
She may be in pain and can't express this, or she may be so confused and frightened that this is her only outlet. I'd be very honest with her doctor - even write down some episodes - and ask if there's a medication that can help her anxiety. This may at least help a little.
Best wishes during this tough time,
Carol
liflerner - there aren't many people on the site today due to the holidays. I wish I knew how to make someone take a drug they need, when they choose not to. My mother has BPD and also now increasing paranoia and delusions and she refuses to take the meds that help her. Her life has become more unmanageable due to her paranoia and complaints/accusations and that makes it very difficult for her and those trying to take care of her. Other have suggested to me that crushing pills and putting them in food may be a way of getting her meds into her. It happens in some nursing homes. It is not an option in mother's case. I have great sympathy for you as I am in the same position, but having discussed it with several professionals, have not found an answer.
This is a little off-the-wall, but my neighbor has a cat that wouldn't take medications (like most cats) and her vet suggested a compounding pharmacy. They created a salve that had the medication. She rubbed it in her cat's ears. Not sure if/how that might work with a human, but I would investigate if a patch or some kind of salve or lotion might be workable.
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