She fell and hit her head 3 weeks ago and has a subdural hematoma. Was in the hospital for 4 days then a very nice rehab facility. They want to discharge her and because she’s bedridden now, and has some brain damage, she can’t go back to assisted living. I live out of state but my brother lives in her community. I’m so concerned about the kind of care she’ll get in the nursing home she’s going to. We have little time to research options before she’s discharged and money is an issue. It’s keeping me up at night. My brother will check on her and I’ll visit once a month but I know there’s no way to know what goes on when family isn’t there. I’m heartbroken. Any words of wisdom?
Something you could ask, just to get a reaction, is ask the social worker at the rehab if she/he would place her/his parent there. My experience is that social workers get brochures but don't know that much more about the facilities they might recommend.
Have either you or your brother visited this next placement? If so, and if it's at all possible, I would do so. Or even if you have friends who can do it, it'll help to get an assessment of the place.
If you can't go, call and ask questions - staff to patient ratio, whether food is cooked there or brought in (one place did this; the food was truly inedible), what's their vacancy rate...maybe others can offer more suggestions. That's all I can think of now.
One that I checked out came highly recommended; I don't recall if it was recommended by the discharge planner or someone else. When I arrived, there was no one at the "front desk". Staff were clearing tables, talking among themselves, so I just sat down and waited (about 10 minutes, I think).
Eventually the receptionist came and gave me a tour. The place seemed deserted - there were so many empty rooms that it made me feel uncomfortable. I tried to get ratios of staff to patients, 3 times, and each time I was told that the place was in compliance with state requirements. That was a another red flag. I passed up on it and found a better place, with real people walking around and no abandoned corridors. And I didn't feel as if I'd need to arm myself walking down the deserted corridors.
A social worker at the hospital should help you have your mother placed. Don't assume all NHomes are bad. If I feel there is a problematic issue I bring it to the attention of the staff. This will now be what your brother will do hopefully. You might check out reviews once you have heard of ones suggested.
We all have had to relinquish control this past year in so many areas. I would hope you can communicate with a social director and or nursing director once she is placed. They may also do some forms of PT. You can call those therapists and get feedback. I do not see any signs of neglect in the facility my mother is in. I realize that may not be the reality everywhere but if your mother's cognitive issues have declined due to the fall and general aging she is best in this type of environment and the knowledge that she is safer should help your concerns. I will hope this transition goes smoothly for your family.