My mom lives alone in an upstairs apartment with stairs no elevator. Since August she had a caretaker for a couple hours a day four days a week. The caretaker broke her ankle a few day before Thanksgiving . My mom was able to live alone and was mostly fine except lonely and depressed. She has no serious medical problems but needed help with laundry, groceries and getting to doctors appointments. So the day after Thanksgiving she fell while getting up and landed face down on the couch and possibly hit her head on arm rest. I live an hour a way and at her doctors insistence drove down and took her to ER. After hours of running tests she was discharged, vitals good and no broken bones. I stayed with her over night . Two days later she fell again , back to urgent care, two days later fell and wasn’t found for 24 hours. I called 911 this time. Again vitals fine ,no broken bones. They discharged her but did send her to a SNF for in patient PT. Fast forward two weeks, my mom went from occasional forgetfulness to about an 8 on confusion. She also is having hallucinations, confusion and is nothing like she was a couple weeks ago. She has fallen twice since in the facility trying to get out of bed unassisted and taken to ER. CT scan etc. They now have to park her in a wheelchair near nurses station at night to keep her from climbing out of bed. Today I get a call from the doctor saying she was being discharged on Friday. I said to where and she said to her home. She said she can walk 125 feet with a walker and minimal assist. I said oh can she get up and go to the bathroom by herself and she said no she needs minimal assistance. So then she had the social worker call me, I said so how can she go home by herself, I said even if I can get her 4 hours a day caretaker, what does she do the other 20 hours? Beside the fact I don’t have a caretaker for her by Friday. My mom has Medicare and Medi-cal (for now). She is 80 years old. I asked if she could be placed in a nursing home and she says she doesn’t need that level of care. I told her my mom has $1400 a month that is it. She basically told me I needed to start calling around. I also told her if the doctor and her think she can be discharged to her home with limited in home services, fine I will get her home. But if not I will not be picking her up on Friday. So now what? If I don’t pick her up what happens, where does she go? I am sick with the thought of doing that to my mom. She is still aware enough to know what’s going on. Mostly... I am the only person my mom has. She is very difficult and last year when I took her home after a fall for a few weeks I was ready to Jump off a bridge. Everything about her is difficult including her refusing to go home. I have not brought her here since. I visit once a week, do her shopping, finances, appointments, clean apt. Etc. Talk to her daily. I had to take her home last time because it was either her or me but something had to give. She hates my husband of 20 years and the feeling is mutual. I can not take care of her 24/7 when she can’t even get up without falling . I asked social worker what are my options if they discharge her and I can not take care of her and refuse to take her, she said she could give me a number to a board and care facility that I could call. I told her my mom has no money and can not pay for that, and Medicaid doesn't cover that. She told me I need to put together a plan. We have no other family. I told her my plan was for her to stay there until she can get around, get up, and go to the bathroom by herself. And then, take her to her home with In Home Care. They are discharging her Friday . Can anyone help me? I am in California, she has Medicare and Medi-cal. If I take her I do not believe I will ever be able to get her to leave and within 2-3 days I will be looking for a bridge to jump off. Then What will they do ? Sorry for this long post. I am lost.
In general, do not sign anything even though they tell you family members sign it all the time. DON'T. If you must, always sign it "for <insert your mom's name>". You don't want to sign something accepting financial responsibility.
Do not let them discharge her to YOU and tell them that if they DISCHARGE HER HOME it constitutes an "unsafe discharge".
Now they may require that she pay her own daily rate as they likely already had agreed with medicare that she is no longer coverable, cannot progress further, cannot participate and rehab is no longer appropriate level of care. I think for now your Mom is headed to SNF or placement.
So sorry. This is very awful.
Just know, Medicare will not cover her until, as you say "she can get up and around and go to the bathroom by herself". In fact that may never happen again. She likely will need placement. You need THEM to begin to work on options available to her with her assets, her income, and etc.
Have the doctors given you any clue as to why she keeps falling?
I have yet to see her get up and get the walker and go to the bathroom, They get her out of bed into a wheelchair then take her to PT, get her standing and watch her walk down the hall with them behind her in case she falls. The minute she tries to get up unassisted whether she came here or to her home she would fall within the day. I have no doubt.
With her new state of confusion I don’t think she would be capable of living alone.
What type of care does she need or what qualifies for Medi-cal care?
If it's still mother, even only in theory, then the discharge planner should be supporting mother in making the decision, and if mother's decision is to return home that needs to be done safely and it's down to them to help her put the required care in place. If it can't be done and she needs LTC, then mother will have to understand and agree to that.
If it's the OP, then that's different; but the OP hasn't said so. Responsibility without authority must always be firmly refused!
This pickle is not of YOUR making.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
Thanks for all of your responses.