My mother has dementia and is also in a wheelchair. She is still living in her house with dad. Sisters check in several times a day and someone from hospice comes 5x week to help with showering. She is saturated with urine sometimes feces. She will take her briefs off at night and wet the bed and my dad too. This happens every night. She argues and says she doesn’t have to go and gets very nasty. Nurse has said not to stress out about it. She smells bad. It’s awful to see her this way. She always took nice care of herself. It’s hard to be around her. Anyone else have similar problem?
That's exactly where my Mum is. Refuses incontinence pants, refuses to go if anyone suggests. Has good control most of the time but will deny an accident & deny a need to change.
What to do though!
Have you seen any of the Teepa Snow videos on youtube? I'm not great with links so try Teepa's website if doesn't work.
https://youtu.be/I9OlDFL-FkA
It may be possible to coax?Don't discuss the accident, just suggest putting these comfy pants on instead. Is her answer always no? Maybe offer a choice of these pants or those pants? So she has the power of the decision?
Sometimes I have just taken her to the bathroom & started the process & she just went along before she remembered to refuse, then she gave up as we were already started!
Incontinence pads for the mattress & wheelchair would make life easier.
I think the nurse would have seen this before & has had to just give up & focus on what she could do (a good barrier cream once a day).
Good luck.
You are definitely not only with this problem.