I am a care partner for my 67 y.o. bride. Over the last 6 months she’s been very talkative about her breasts. She even mentioned to our caregiver that she was going to have another baby and wondered if someone would show her how to breast feed the baby.
So I wonder:
1. Should I get her a doll?
2. Is this demeaning to her as an adult who is living with dementia? I feel like I would be treating her as a child.
3. Did anyone else struggle with your emotions in this way?
I have a hard time with my own emotional state in this awful disease of Alzheimer’s.
Whatever gives your mother comfort should be the focus and not what others, or you, think about it. This is the woman who raised you, so mothering is nothing new to her. Go for it, show her some pictures and see if she reacts positively then off to the toy store, I'm sorry that you're going through this, but she is still here!
Very first thing written, "Should I get my wife a doll?"
Im sorry it is stressful. It sure isn't easy. Perhaps you can get a sitter to help and spend some time having a life. Just a few hours to catch up with a friend or go shopping could help you mentally. This takes a toll on family members.
You need you time too. Good luck.
https://memorablepets.com/
https://dailycaring.com/the-positive-effect-of-therapy-dolls-for-dementia/
2. Contact the Alzheimer's Association. This can't be the first time such a thing has happened or something close to it. Even if it is, they may have some useful advice.
3. Guess what? I had no idea until I googled it, but you can buy baby dolls that help women simulate breast feeding. They look just like babies. Who knew? They're rather expensive but cheap at half the price.
4. If it bothers you, have the caretaker sit with her if she decides to nurse the doll, but if she likes it and it makes her happy, wouldn't you like to be there with her when she's smiling?
5. Best wishes to both of you. She's lucky to have you.
I think getting a dementia sufferer a doll is fine. I don't think there should exist such dolls that simulate breast feeding. That's taking the delusional behavior too far and also kind of sick.
maybe you feel more odd since youre a guy ???
im not a guy but i want a dog or cat with real sounds and wagging or whats appropriate.
if she talks about a baby i think a lifelike doll would comfort her.
Yes, by all means buy your wife a soft, realistic babydoll, but explain that the baby can’t breastfeed (allergic, needs special formula, or whatever explanation she will accept).
Provide your baby-nurturing wife a “magic baby bottle with disappearing milk”, you can use that search term and find many on-line colorful toy magic baby bottles with disappearing milk, maybe these would work.
Good luck, I send you strength and good wishes on this tough journey of caretaking. We are pulling for you.
Someone had sent me a Raggedy Anne doll. She was a beauty, with a big smile. I put her on the sofa; she was the first thing I saw every day. She lifted my spirits!
I strongly recommend a doll!
Please have a breast examination completed on your wife, she may be trying to communicate a change that has occurred and need medical attention.
I have seen first hand the positive effects of doll therapy, however do not introduce it as a baby, let her form her own relationship with it, as I have also seen a negative reaction when the elderly lady started yelling “it’s not a baby it’s a doll” and mocked other residents who believed it was a baby.
Good luck to you both and wishing you all the very best 💙💗
Here is the link from Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Joy-for-All/dp/B07JHW3VJQ
She’s a little deficient but assume she’s not stupid.
(My wife died of it as well).
There are scientific studies being done to see how much the brain can heal itself with anti inflammatories to stop the dying of synapses. Go to YouTube for a general boost in your knowledge, look at “Leaky Gut Syndrome”, which implies that her bowels need more good bacteria, and that bad bacteria are getting / leaking out through the wall of the bowel, passing through membranes into the blood stream, traveling to the brain causing inflammation and destruction of the nerve endings that enable thought processes to complete.
The solution might be to get her off heavily processed junk food and onto a finely chopped or blended green leafy, veggie diet, - no sugar, no fructose, sucrose, or high fructose corn syrup.
All forms of sugar, including starches, white bread, white rice, peeled potatoes, - any white grains. - Eat the potato skins, fried in olive oil and a little salt are sooo delicious.
- Best cooking oil is locally grown olives, COLD PRESSED, EXTRA VIRGIN, immediately bottled UNFILTERED.
Always cook at minimal heat to avoid destroying the nutrients in this valuable oil.
Never buy blended oil. Get it from a family owned ranch where their reputation for quality is on the line.
Walmart carries my personal favorite brand: Pompeian Robust Extra Virgin Olive oil, about $16.50 for 64 oz. It’s the best available in my opinion.
Cook at about 200 deg F. It will not spit or boil at this temp, but will take more time to cook and brown meat, however it’ll retain moisture, because water won’t boil either. It’s your body!
By all means, buy your wife an adorable baby doll and a baby bottle with ‘milk” that disappears as you feed the doll.
Providing a baby doll for your wife is an act of love, to bring comfort to her.
Please look after yourself and find a support group that offers companionship, shared information and some laughter. It is always important to know you are not alone in your struggles.
Best Wishes,
Cora
My mother cried because she missed her "baby." She would sob thinking her babies had been kidnapped. I found a realistic looking doll on-line. We wrapped her in a receiving blanket and mom fell in love instantly. She held her, rocked her, and smothered her in kisses. We tucked her in bed with Mom at night. Ultimately, she was buried with Mom. Mom's reality was that she was a young mother again. The doll calmed her down and mom was much less frightened. We were very careful to treat the doll like a real baby.
Cautionary note: The doll's outfit had a couple little bows. Mom tried to bite them off and eat them. I bought a sleeper without any buttons or bows and the problem was solved.
If your wife's reality is that she needs to care for a baby, please, give her a realisic looking baby to love and care for. You won't regret it.
Best wishes,
Peggy
We had many ladies and men in the dementia unit where I worked have favorite dolls or toys. In later years, they got a few of the "Joy For All" kitties and pups, they move and woof, meow etc. Everyone just loved those too. But yes, a doll is very comforting and calming.
Even men will benefit from such items, although they usually prefer toy animals to baby dolls.