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Your job as executor is to follow your mother's instructions as laid out in her will together with whatever other directions support it.

So do that, and take the fee as correctly calculated, and split it with your sister as also directed. To do anything else would be wrong - wrong, as in, not what your mother wanted to happen AND put her name to.
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I'm not sure about the US but here the fee is taxable income so that may be something to consider. Under the circumstances you describe I would take the payment, it should be easy enough to make up a spreadsheet of all the work you (and sister) did and divide the money accordingly.
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Yes, you take the fee. Divide it with the co-executor. If possible divide it based on the amount of work you each did.
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Take the fee. An Executor is entitled to it. We didn't net much from my Moms house, so I didn't take mine. I was compensated though by my brothers allowing me to keep 5k in shares. I had done all the caring for my Mom.

You were right in not allowing family to be involved in buying or selling of the home. Its kind of a catch 22. Damned if u do, damned if u don't. Did u have a contract with BIL? If not then he doesn't have a leg to stand on. He didn't sell the home he doesn't deserve the commission. There will be an accounting that all the beneficaries will need to sign before Probate can be closed. They can contest but it will hold up the money.
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Isthisrealyreal Aug 2020
Even with a contract they don't have a leg to stand on. Most contracts specifically address non performance as a reason to terminate the contract.

The proof is in the actual facts of what happened.

I would tell them that I would see them in court and counter sue for the threats and intimidation as well as non performance for personal gain. Counter suits usually stop frivolous actions by others using the legal system to bully.
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Take the money for doing the job. The sh** has already hit the fan. Not getting paid won’t make anyone love you. Remember your mother, and use the fee you have earned to do something that she would want you to enjoy.
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earlybird Aug 2020
Well said, Margaret!
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Take the fee. For the simple fact that your time is worth something. If you weren’t doing the job of executor, the estate would be paying a professional to do it and that would cost you a lot more than $20k. You aren’t morally obligated to do the work for free.
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SevenofSeven,
Take the fee. Divide the money as your mom wished, and don't worry about the in-law realtor. I am a believer that in-laws should stay out of family business. It is sad your family can't put these things aside to grieve your mothers death and be supportive during this most difficult time. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Sorry for your loss of your dear mother and wishing you peace and strength.
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Isthisrealyreal Aug 2020
Whats the difference between inlaws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted!
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I would not let what the others think or what they might think or do factor into your decision whether or not to take a fee for your executor duties. That is for YOU to decide. YOU were appointed as executor, so you make the decisions, not the others. Could it make for issues? Sure, but you already have issues with those two, so whether you do take a fee or not, there will be bad blood there. Will they get over it? That's for them to decide. Will taking more make it worse? Possibly, but the law DOES provide for executors to get paid for their time and effort. State laws (and sometimes wills) direct what can and can't be taken as a fee. The court will have final say. Although one of your sisters is co-executor, I would NOT give half of whatever is decided on for the fee to her. She has to show proof of her work. No work, no pay. Minimal work, minimal pay. Since there is a will, final decision will go through the court. If it's considered too much, they will nix it. If you don't take any, they may question it.

As for the amount, $20k seems awfully high. Sale of the home was $1.1m, but you said there was a reverse mortgage AND you stated that the 7 of you would be netting about $20k. That only amounts to about $140k. You should find out what your state allows for "reasonable" compensation. Each state has it's own rules. It could be a %age of the estate, it could be based on how complex the estate was and/or how much effort went into it. Years ago I had to take over the mess left when the sister of my mother's deceased cousin passed away - she was the executor for her sister who passed first and I found out after the fact that I was named as the alternate. WHAT a mess!! Between the negligent atty they had and her taking a HUGE chunk of the money back to FL (we're in NE) for fear the atty was going to steal it... Thankfully the CD instructions were processed after the estate account was set up, and it went into the original account! The estate account had been wiped clean and the sister's son was taking dad, with dementia, to the bank and withdrawing LOTS of money! The CD amount saved the day - there was enough to cover all the distributions that were stipulated in the will. The atty I hired gave me a dollar amount and I went with that. Even though some of the work had been done, it still took about 2 years to complete the process so that I could send checks to those named in the will.

Now, given the sale price of the home and possible complexity of dealing with the reverse mtg and disposing of/selling personal property, repair management, etc, the accountant may be correct. Is there an atty involved? I would consult with him/her as well.

Something else to consider - the executor fee IS taxable income. The inheritance is not. Your income tax bracket may be a factor as well - would this extra $20k push you into a higher bracket, both state and federal, thereby negating any big benefit, or would it be better to take a smaller fee and get more inheritance tax free? Hopefully if you have an atty s/he is well versed in both executor fees for your state AND federal tax implications.

Brief discussion here:
https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/what-does-the-executor-of-a-will-get-paid
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imadaughter17 Aug 2020
The $20k was additional money each sibling got because they didn't sell to nephew for the discounted price....not what each sibling netted
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If you're worried about causing chaos, I think that's already started, as have personal attacks.  

It seems to me that the family have $$$ in their eyes, and whatever you do, someone's going to be offended.    But remember that you're acting on behalf of your mother.   And you have to find the best transactions and deals, and that doesn't include giving a nephew a discount, or hiring a realtor with a poor track record.

As to splitting it with your sister, if she's been helping, she should have documented her actions and time, just like attorneys do.  That's what I did for the first Trust I administered, and what I do now.  It can be a burden as it requires a lot of timekeeping, but it's necessary.

I hope you've done that, but if not, try to recap as best you can, especially as to expenses incurred.

From what you've written, there's already friction in the family with people looking to see what they can get.  If you give in, they'll know they can win, and this may not be the last time they try to get their own way.

Just make sure you've got all the expenses documented.
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MargaretMcKen Aug 2020
Time, not just expenses.
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You did a great job in a very difficult and dysfunctional situation. By all means pay yourself the 20k. It is obvious why mom asked you to do this job. You had the strength to complete the job in spite of the threats from, especially greedy sister. Your mom put that fee in the trust because she knew the work and pressures that would be placed upon you.

And 20k? Yes every dime. Sit down, figure out how many hours you have spent on the task. Then take those hours an multiply by $300.00/hour. If you had not been able to stand up to sisters an attorney would have been needed. Think of the difference between the 20k and what an attorney would have made as a bonus to your sisters. A gift. And make sure you tell them thanks for nothing.

And when it comes right down to it, that is only an additional 3k for each of you.
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ABSOLUTELY YES take the fee. Absolutely YES!!!! As someone else here says. Full Stop.
First of all, Sisters who act in this manner will have ZERO respect for you if you do NOT. You can bet they WOULD. They will think you are only stupid not to take it. So don't expect a thanks from them, or anything else.
Take the fee and don't act for a single second that you ever thought to do anything else, and take as much of a fee as you are able to.
Sorry, but it infuriates me. I just am almost finished with a year acting as POA and Trustee for my Bro and now settling out the simplest estate and Trust every created. And even at THAT it is work.
TAKE THE FEE.
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