Mom was diagnosed with dementia 2.5 years ago. Her short term memory is gone but she is still very pleasant. At times she asks what wrong with my memory. I tell her that she fell and hit her head a while ago and some of her memories have been affected which is how this all started. My sister ( who shares care with me) was told that we should tell her that she has dementia and that it is the disease that is causing her memory loss. The word dementia is very upsetting to her as she has had several friends go thru this terrible disease. My feeling is why upset her with this terminology. She accepts the fall and memory loss theory and moves on to other things. I know that she will not remember after a period of time so if I can keep her as happy as possible thats what I want to do. Any suggestions/opinions would be of great help. Thanks.
Almost 2 years later, she doesn't remember any of that. She doesn't know she has anything wrong with her and communication is limited. She has no concept of health. She does still remember her parents though and can answer some questions about them.
So, whatever you tell her, will be momentary. I wish you the best.
Why use the dementia term if there are other, kinder ways to get the same idea across? I do reassure my mom that she doesn't have Alzheimers, which would have her putting things in odd places or totally forgetting people, etc. She doesn't do any of that.
I personally strongly believe in being kind to our elders and telling them what they can handle, when there is no real benefit to telling them the "full truth" of their situation.
But in the back of my mind is a niggling feeling that your mom has the right to know about her own health. It's her body. It's her mind. She should have all the information.
If she's not tortured by why she can't remember things and is happy and healthy for now I think it would be fine to put the conversation off for a while and see how things go.
Tough situation.